Draw the Curtains
by Jeye
Summary: In which Sasuke is a fanboy, and Neji is an armrest. Lighthearted SI/OC Insert/Time Travel/Reborn/Reincarnation fic
1. Chapter 1

As she stepped out onto the balcony of the Kiseki Tower, she surveyed the massive crowds of adoring faces that stretched across her range of sight, all vigorously chanting her name. "Ki-se-ki! Ki-se-ki! Ninjas and Civilians from all over the world gathered outside her home, just to view this historical moment of her inauguration as the Ruler of the Five Great Nations. Fireworks leapt up into the sky, overjoyed at the momentous occasion. Upon straining her eyes, she caught a glimpse of her minions at the front helping to calm the crowd for her inauguration speech.

Her right hand man smiled at her with a familiar smirk. "It is time, Kiseki."

She pouted back at him. "How is it that after all this time, I still can't get you to call me Kiseki-sama?" His only reply was a wink, as he led her to the podium. Clearing her throat, she waited for the cheering to die down, before starting her speech.

"Thank you, it is my great honour to be chosen as the Ruler of the Five Great Nations. Words cannot express how pleased I am to take on this wonderful duty of protecting each and every one of you excellent people. Growing up, I never thought that I would be able to make such an impact on the world..."

* * *

As I woke up, I had one thought.

I need to draw the curtains, the sun is way too bright.

Unfortunately, my physical body did not enable me to do so. Strangely, I felt too weak to sit up in my bed, despite numerous attempts. Having felt this way too many times after a lonely night of drinking, I was not too bothered about this. Then I looked around.

Everything seemed…magnified, as if I were in a house for giants. Holy hell, what did I drink last night? And could I have another round of that? For some reason, all this thinking really tired out my brain, and I fell back to sleep like a baby.

.

.

.

* * *

Yes. Like a baby.

"Say Okaa-san! Kaa-san! "

"No no no, say Otou-san! Tou! San! "

Two large faces, smiling at me almost unnaturally, were invading my personal space despite the blanket pulled over my body and my head sinking so far into my neck it would have difficulty trying to come back up again. I felt uncomfortable at this invasion, but resisted the urge to cry and hiss for what seemed to be the seventh time that day. After all, seven is an unlucky number in the Eastern countries, no?

I gave them an unamused raise of a single eyebrow instead, because they have not sufficiently entertained me and thus have proved themselves incompetent as my loyal servants, undeserving of a smile from their supreme master. However, my blurry vision showed them somehow producing an even wider smile, grinning from ear to ear. Seriously, this creepiness needs to stop, for I had not seen a smile so genuine like that towards me of all people for the past 20 years, I might be put in shock.

Oh wait, I should probably summarise what I have discovered so far.

After much confusion (a whole lot of crying and frantic singing), I have finally concluded that I am a baby born in Japan, with two parents and a comfortable futon. They frequently leave me by myself for many days on end (how utterly irresponsible, they deserve punishment with _no_ smiles for a week), and I most likely woke up at age three, because three is the age at which babies start to remember information, unlike what these heathens think as they try to push yet another unfamiliar japanese word into my child brain which was already overloaded from remembering my past.

Thankfully, child brains are also the most absorbent, and I quickly picked up Japanese, not that I would tell my parents of course. Nothing good comes from showing off, as I have learnt so many times in my past life.

Surprisingly, I am not quite sure how I died? One minute I was drinking, the next I was waking up to an unfamiliar room. Perhaps the alcohol poisoning finally caught up to me? My old life would be what some people call "fugitive". Constantly on the run from the police, I knew how to evade traps, break into a bank without even the most detailed of CCTVs catching a glimpse of me. I could pick locks in a second with my back facing the door, and I manipulated everyone to aid my next great heist.

They called me "The Invisible Crook". I was pretty proud of that name, not gonna lie, but sometimes, I do ponder about my past life decisions that have led me to this point. Sure I lived in luxury, and the life of a criminal was thrilling, but was it really worth it? What would have happened if some things had been different?

If I had not been abandoned by my parents at the tender age of six and left to learn how to survive in the most dangerous, shady part of the country.

If I had not been a victim of bullying in that godforsaken school where no one cared about anyone other than themselves.

If I had not been wrongly convicted for the purse that I did not steal, which led to no one trusting me enough to work and me resorting to stealing to keep alive in my corrupted city.

This kind of wishful thinking usually occurred as I witnessed the repercussions of bankruptcies and lockdowns on the television screen, with my leg propped up on the golden footboard of the bed I stole from the branded furniture shop down the street, and my head tucked into a million dollar pillow gazing towards the latest news on my heist.

As my internal flashback ended, I turned to my parents and gave them both a wide, toothy smile as they cooed at me, almost with literal hearts in their eyes, before immediately resuming my poker face because I was still not used to their damn happiness.

Maybe this new life would not be too bad.

* * *

My name is Kiseki Sagi and I just entered my first class in what this village calls Civilian School.

To be frank, it was a bit of a nightmare. Full of screaming children, a calm teacher who looked 90% stoned while ignoring the brats as he gazed out of the window, and this snot-nosed boy who kept crying for his stuffed toy pig. The content was a breeze, but the social interaction during break? Not really. I tolerated my lessons until it reached the one period I was slightly more motivated to participate in. Physical Education.

Having ran from police car speed chases successfully while carrying a billion dollars' worth of diamonds, I was full of confidence that any inferior physical exercise that the teachers set for this puny preschool class would be a piece of cake, and I would ace it with flying colours. However, after seeing the familiar thirtieth boy run pass me (his snot was still dripping out of his nose too) in my class of thirty one students, I had enough. I was obviously not up to par with my past speed that I prided myself on having, and it became clear to me that it was high time that I get my skills back.

As they always say, practice makes perfect, and hence, I practiced. Using real life experiences.

I played a fun game of Police and Thief with the Uchiha Police Force (Hint: I was the thief) , while playing The Floor is Lava (Only parkour on buildings) at the same time as Step on a Crack, Break your Mama's Back (ah, evasion practice using childhood games, I'm such a genius). While this used to be a rare thing back in my past life and usually took a major heist to cause suspicion, surprisingly all I had to do was pickpocket someone, blame it on this random boy that happened to look similar to me, and run like a guilty criminal. All the guys chasing me had bulky green vests on their chests, and looked about the same with their black hair and eyes. Seriously, do they do policemen inbreeding or something?

Ah, this really brings back memories of the olden times, I thought as I turned yet another corner for my well-planned escape route and pushed myself from roof to roof. It became even more fun when one of the guys fell down the building and no one stopped to help the poor soul. How ruthless. I was just wondering on my next practice when I saw the same policeman literally walk up the same building and continue chasing after me as if all was fine in the world when a random human defies the laws of the universe.

What. The. Fuck.

I nearly stopped in my tracks. If they could walk up walls, that meant…Screw the game, it was time to escape for real before I get caught. What kind of freaky super powered policemen do they have in this place? It looked perfectly normal to me, aside for some people with weird coloured hair and eyes, and metal headbands with the symbol of the village on it, and I was pretty sure I saw this lady wearing a trenchcoat and nothing else walking with an old dude with only his eye exposed walking around, but I never saw anything like this.

The village was so traditionally underdeveloped that they did not even have cell phones and computers! When I first discovered this, I was stricken with horror and my female servant had to drag me away from that poor excuse for an electronic shop while my male servant apologized profusely to me after he could not fulfill his latest promise of buying what I wanted for my birthday. He suffered greatly from the silent treatment I bestowed on him, but behaved well and I gracefully decided to reduce my sentence from a month to a fortnight. Poor Tousan will never be rewarded with a smile again until computers come back into existence, because damn it, one of my best skills were computer hacking and I could not even do that now.

Anyways, back to that strange guy that walked up a cement wall four stories tall.

Hell, I used to do physics for a only year back in my dingy old school but I am still pretty sure that this disobeys all laws of the physics. Thankfully, I was pretty used to weird things happening around me by now after the fourth time a slug squelched outside my windowsill and disappeared when I drew the curtains. Now that I consider it, it might be possible that I was born not only in a different time and country, but also a different universe, where super heroes were real.

After I escaped (and returned the pick pocketed item because I was not a certified thief in this life and had no desire to ruin my non-existent reputation) , I returned to my room and concentrated on trying to gain enough momentum to walk up the walls like I saw the other guys do. If this world has super powers, then I was definitely going to obtain mine! I ran towards the wall as if I was on Ninja Warrior, but the moment my second foot went horizontal, I fell on my back for the twentieth time.

I thought about my servants (parents) in the next room, and decided that I did not give a single damn that they might be resting from their latest trip to Suna and would be disturbed by the noise pollution I was producing through slamming into the ground and walls so many times. You might think that I am joking that I call them my servants, but they actually decided to sleep together in a smaller room while I got the larger room with a gigantic supply of whatever I wanted. This family was rich as hell and I was not complaining.

Hold on, backtracking on my thoughts, Ninja Warrior… Is it possible that this world is made of ninjas?

Which means that my stealth and manipulations would fit right in?

And I can walk up walls and throw tiny blades at deadly speeds like those people with bandages in the movies?

My face scrunched up in determination as I stared at the wall with a newfound motivation. I put one foot on the wall.

Then the other. It seemed as though some sort of energy was pooled under both my feet and required high concentration in order to maintain it

I stayed on the wall horizontally.

"Whoop! " Thump. "Damn it! " Unfortunately, it appears that I am unable to instantly become a master ninja in five seconds. My past childhood dreams of defying the laws of the universe will have to wait just a little longer.

* * *

When people first see me, "Likeable" is not what they think. Perhaps "Weird" or "Emotionally Stunted" would be a better choice. I still cannot for the life of me understand, why that pink haired chick ran away from me crying, after I rejected her offer of friendship the second time. We did not know each other's names, nor did we have any form of contact before that day. It was clear that she had plans to use me to protect her from bullies for free, hence it was clear to me that she did not deserve my friendship. Unless… there was a secret motive I did not catch?

Therefore, it was a huge surprise to me when I noticed a small dark haired boy following me. He kind of looked similar to those policemen that chased me the previous times, with his black hair and eyes. It was not obvious, but he sure as hell wasn't stealthy. Every time I whipped my head back to catch a glimpse of him, I only saw the back of his hair peeking out of the corner of the building. (It looked like the backside of a chicken)

Was he stalking me? I had no friends, and I didn't recognise him as part of my civilian class, so I had no idea why he was doing this. Shrugging, I decided to give my usual zero fucks and carried on doing what I was doing. (Sticking my fingers onto the wall one by one using that strange energy I discovered earlier). At the end of the day, I noticed an older boy who also looked like the policemen. Seriously, how many of these inbreeded people are there, is incest a normal thing in this village? Tou-san said no, but he also scratched the back of his head so that means he was lying. The boy had middle parted bangs, some stress lines on his face and I could instantly tell he was an overachiever. He called out to the stalker, and I smirked as I turned to face them and the little boy went pink in the face as he came into full view and looked between me and his relative. (Though to be fair, he looked the same age as me)

I waved goodbye with a slight shake of my hand, and his relative gave me an amused tinkle of the eyes, otherwise his face remained the same. Thank god I wasn't the only emotionally stunted being in this village!

I headed back to my cute little estate (mansion) and sipped a little bit of tea, even sitting in the formal seiza position for fun to feel a little more like the traditional rich Japanese girl I was supposed to be. (Unknown to me, another little boy with pale white eyes hid in the bushes, blushing at the sight of the little girl inside the house behaving like the perfect girl he desired.)

When I reached the old, ancient age of 5, my servants offered me a chance to attend the Academy, which they called "Ninja School". Originally, they were kicking and screaming for me not to go and "ruin my life as a kunoichi and kill innocents for money" like the disobedient servants they were, but I successfully convinced them after I told them of my ostracized situation in civilian school and became teary eyed after I told them about the "big, strong ninja that protect you on your trips" and how I wanted to be a protector in the future.

They never stood a chance against my Eyes of Sadness.

And so, I was signed up for my first day of ninja school. Tomorrow.

First, I was going to take a nap like no other because no matter how much my brain has developed, too much thinking is still exhausting for a 5 year old child like me. Waddling to the most inviting hill under the most comfortable tree I could find, I plopped down and dozed off into dreamland.

.

.

.

"You're in my spot. Troublesome." I awoke sleepily to the annoyed grumble of a young boy about the same age as me. He had a black spiky ponytail, really big adorable eyes and a grouching expression that really spoke to my heart. Sitting up, I tried to estimate the time using the position of the sun and figured out that I slept a grand total of 5 minutes and 15 seconds.

"What's your name? If you're nice, I'll let you sleep back in your spot. If you're not, I'll go back to sleep and you can go somewhere else." I immediately bargained, not willing to move from my position.

"Shikamaru Nara. Tsk, troublesome women." Shikamaru muttered.

"And I will be sleeping back here. The name's Kiseki Sagi, you may sleep anywhere other than my spot, have a nice nap!" And with that, I happily fell back asleep to the sound of him cursing and then shuffling and laying down next to me on the grass.

When I awoke, it was night time and he was still there. Deciding that he was acceptably tolerable and quite cute for a bratty small child, I hereby graced him with the pleasure of a delightful wakeup call. Dragging him across the grass, causing him to dramatically roll down the hill and ending with a loud thump at the bottom, I gave an internal evil cackle as I watched the boy meet my wrath, and craned my ear over to hear the anguished sound of screaming but nothing came.

Shit! I didn't mean to kill him!

After a frantic dash down to check on the spiky haired guy, I quickly realized that he was somehow still sleeping throughout the whole incident. As a plan formed in my head, an evil chuckle came from my lips and the squirrels in the nearby trees shivered in fear.

"Hello, Officer-san. I found this poor boy at the front of my doorstep, crying for help, and I only just managed to put him to sleep. Please, Officer-san, you wouldn't turn away an innocent child, would you?"

"Where am I?"

* * *

 **Hello! This is Jeye~ Please leave a review on what you think about the story so far! They are love, and I hope you enjoy this first installment of Draw the Curtains~**

 **Question of the Chapter:**

 **Who do you think is the strongest Akatsuki member in the original 10? (Pein, Konan, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu)**

 **Also, let's have a poll for Kiseki's love interest! Please state the name you support in the reviews, and the largest number gets an individual scene with Chibi Kiseki X Chibi?**

 **PS: If all other numbers are 0, 1 is the largest ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**B.A. Victoria – Thank you! Muahahaah, I am deciding to update every day for a week, then a break for my exams so do watch out every day at 12am SGT for the newest finalized chapter!**

 **SnowCatt- Thank you for you review! I will not make everyone fall in love with Kiseki, I promise. No promises about not making it weird though ;)**

 **Love Stories00 – Thank you for reviewing! I will be totaling up the poll at the end of this chapter.**

 **A huge thank you to everyone who read this story, please continue!**

* * *

Welcome to My Reincarnated Life Version 2.0!

In this new and updated version, we have fixed some bugs. Please scroll down for a full list of the changes.

*Commenced to first day of The Academy in class 1A

*Accepted mission from Tou-san and Kaa-san: Make at least 2 friends or go back to Civilian School!

*Accepted mission from Tou-san and Kaa-san: Pass Entrance Exam!

*Fixed bug in which Kiseki automatically scowls at any one who dares to go near her. In the newest build, she will instead analyse the situation first, before scowling.

*Fixed bug in which Uchiha policemen automatically appears whenever Kiseki pranks

Please download the new update to continue playing!

* * *

As Kaa-san walked me to the Academy at dawn, my eyes darted around, filing all the information about my surroundings into my mind while looking for any possible friends I could make before I had to step one foot into the Academy. Stupid mission. The only reason why I accepted it was so that I could get paid. Unfortunately, the area was barren and the only sounds in the air were the swoosh of genin running and the chirps of bird waking up. Civilians were usually on time, not freakishly three hours early. Kaa-san refused to hear any of it.

It was not my idea at all you see, but I could only roll my eyes as my body was forced into a comfortable yukata styled dress at five am in the morning while my mother fretted around making me look as 'cute' as possible, while giggling out of nowhere about some "childhood love" and "Tou-san tripped all over me". I walked up to the front desk and there was a lady who surprisingly looked completely awake there,(most teachers in my past life had a drink or two before the start of the school year) looking refined and polished while she identified my school arrangements for the year.

"You will be situated in Class 1A."She gave a friendly smile and looked as if she was internally bracing herself for a question, most likely used to the torrents of interrogations that new parents subject unfortunate front desk office staff to. When I left with a simple "thank you", she heaved a small sigh of relief. I mentally noted never to sign up for that job when I became a ninja. Ever.

My eyes scanned through the list of names of students in the same class as me, provided helpfully by the lady. I then realized how lucky or unlucky I was to be placed in a class with many major shinobi clan heirs in it. If you were paired up with a clan kid, you had almost a 80% chance of passing the first genin test. My pupils zeroed in on one of the names. "Shikamaru Nara."

Perfect.

Saying goodbye to Kaa-san, I let my feet guide me to the correct class and took a seat in the empty classroom. The rows fit 3 per table, and there were three columns and 4 rows. I took the seat nearest the back door in preparation for any quick escapes in the coming future and conked my head down for a well-deserved nap. Plotting world domination took a surprisingly large amount of energy, wouldn't you agree?

"Tch. I got into trouble with Kaa-san because of you. How annoying." A familiar grumbling voice popped up three hours later, and I spotted the ends of the ponytail before sitting up and trying to stare straight into his soul as best I could. I was a woman on a mission, and I never failed.

"You. Me. Friends. Now."

"I have no reason to be friends with such a troublesome woman. Tch, Chouji is enough for me." He shot back, thinking that there was no way I would be thick skinned enough to pursue the idea of friendship beyond the first sentence. He thought wrong.

Unknown to him, I did my research beforehand. "I'll buy you the new shogi board, it just came out in the stores today."I coaxed, and internally celebrated as I saw his stubborn gaze start to waver. "I'll give you back your spot under the tree from yesterday." He didn't stand a chance against my Fabulous Methods of Persuasion.

"Deal. And you also have to go apologise to Kaa-san."

"Deal!" I was planning to do so anyways, so I wasn't so bothered by it.

While we were bargaining, our teacher Umino Iruka, passed out the Entrance Exam papers. I took mine with glee and stared down at its questions, ready to give my best shot. What was it going to be? A mathematics question to calculate the best angle for the kunai to be thrown? A history of Konoha? A report on suspicious members of the village and deducting who was the culprit of the assassination?

1\. What kind of ninja do you want to be when you grow up?

I sunk in my seat.

It was the question, the dreaded question that appeared in every single school self assessment paper, survey, conversation with teachers. I had nightmares in the past about facing the Question-That-Always-Gets-Asked. What do kids want to be when they grow up? Let them decide like I did, when I dropped out of school and had to fend for myself using the fastest and shadiest method possible!

I pondered the possibility of becoming a a criminal, or in this world missing-nin, once more. At one point of time, probably. Even though I said that I wanted a new start, once you experience the thrill of a criminal, you can never quite leave that life behind. Besides, what kind of ninjas are there even? I hurriedly listed out all the types of ninjas I had read about in the books about ninja in my head. Medics, Combat Specialists, Weapons Masters, Couriers, Seduction Specialists, Assassins, which would be best for my thieving skills?

As I flashed through my options, an idea came to me and made me facepalm. Of course, how did I not think of it earlier? Smiling, I put my answer down and went onto the next question.

2\. Why do you want to become a ninja?

I sunk in my seat again in despair. Memories of nerve wracking interviews nearly sent me shaking into a panic attack once more.

.

.

.

It was over. I heaved a huge sigh of relief , making Shikamaru give me an incredulous look out of the corner of his right eye as he peered at me from over his arm. Lazy boy just wrote "Because." and gave the "( ' ' )" sign for every other question, meaning that every question was answered the same way.

"It was a 5 minute quiz, why do you look so stressed out?" To be completely honest, I didn't know. It could be the fact that I was used to making life or death decisions on a daily basis, it could be due to the fact that I was still young and easily stressed out by anything that I found difficult. What I did know, was that I was one of the few civilians in the class. With the exception of the pink haired girl, I looked around the room and identified the clan heirs pretty easily. Markings on their face, strange hair, weird colourings… must be the result of inbreeding. At this point, I was convinced that the ninja world loved their inbreeding too much to openly admit to it, so I stopped asking about it, allowing Tou-san to breathe normally once more.

Looking over to the other end of the classroom, I caught sight of a familiar looking raven-haired boy sitting by the window, his chicken butt ends swaying in the wind as a few girls fangirled over his "handsome face". Our eyes met with a zing, but he quickly turned to face out of the window and away from me, redness spilling over his cheeks. Was I supposed to feel insulted? I didn't care, he was probably just an annoying cretin anyways.

* * *

~Scene with Chibi! Shikamaru and Chibi! Kiseki~

"So, do you play shogi?"Chibi Shikamaru asked sleepily with his head in his pillow, the rest of his body sprawled out on his bed. He looked like the most comfortable and fluffy cloud in the sky, making me feel like pinching his puffed up cheeks. Of course, I resisted the temptation because I was a proud Respecter of Personal Space. We were currently up in his room after Yoshino-san had cooed over me enough to forgive me for my transgressions the previous day. He had originally planned to sulk in the corner before going up to sleep, taking advantage of his mother's distraction (aka me). Of course, his master plan failed when I followed him up and Yoshino-san followed me, resulting in his forceful state of consciousness.

Poor boy. He is a servant to his Kaa-san, but it is no matter, because he will have the privilege of becoming my minion as well. But first of all, before everyone's doom Is to be determined, I have to learn the strange rules of this easy Japanese board game called Shogi. It seemed to be a strategy game, similar to chess but with different rules and pieces. Of course, I have never played chess but I wasn't expecting much of a challenge from a measly 5 year old kid, no matter how much he appeared to be easy to underestimate. I smirked as I started our first game on his new board, ready for him to plead for defeat and promise to call me Kiseki-sama forever.

I lost.

Enraged, I could not believe my eyes when he checkmated me, even giving me a bored "You lasted long for a first timer."Does he really think that I didn't even have a single chance of beating him, despite my clever prank on his unconscious being? How egotistical could you get? Obviously, my pride did not give me the chance to lose gracefully. Demanding for another game, I decided to actually concentrate this time, and to think of it as a heist back from my old life, where his pieces were the police, and my pieces were my minions. For the sake of my criminal status, I could not let myself be outsmarted by a 5 year old! "Again!"

I lost.

"Hey, do you want to stop? You look even more troublesome than usual." Hearing the whispers of 'sore loser.' at the back of my mind, I narrowed my eyes further at the board. I don't care how many tries I take, I will succeed at beating this puny kid until he whimpers to his mother for mercy from me, the Overlord of Evil Hell. "Again!"

I lost.

.

.

.

Eighteen matches later, I was thrown out by Shikaku-sama but I forgave his act of disobedience just this once, because of my unbelievably happy mood.

Shikamaru : Kiseki

20:1

I rejected Deer-boy's request for a rematch and he glared at me, frustrated at his loss for the entire day after that.

Sucker, I won fair and square. (I used tricks of the hand to swipe some of his pieces when he grew complacent and placed them into less strategical positions)

* * *

Iruka Sensei's First Annual Student Report of Class 1A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (Fanboy)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 5

Height: 108cm

Weight: 18.6kg

Traits:

Daredevil – Has remarkably escaped class on several occasions while the teacher was inside the room for every single day in the week due to "unexplainable" reasons, absence has been reported to current guardians. Response was to "leave their baby be, she is doing great." She later returned with similarly "unexplainable" blue hair that lasted for a month.

Kleptomaniac- This instructor cannot count how many times she has mysteriously popped up with a random item she 'found' in a student's bag. For some reason, said student is always guilty of a minor offense. While the instructor approves of such vigilance in the student body, he hopes that this student can just tell him upfront instead of making him waste time chasing after the possible offenders.

Perfectionist- She has, at times, stayed back in school for multiple hours to clarify with an instructor a topic she does not quite understand and wish to grasp completely. While this level commitment is commendable, the instructor wishes to take a break sometimes and end class on time for once.

* * *

Today was the start of my first day of ninja classes. We were told to line up, one student per target. Next to me were Sasuke and Shikamaru. Almost shivering with anticipation, I recalled my childhood expectations of being able to handle all sorts of cool weapons and withstanding hardcore physical training. Instead, I was handed a rubber shuriken and told to hit the target.

I stared at the green piece of rubber in disbelief. It glared back at me, as if to say, _yeah dude you're too weak to even try the real thing_. In a fit of anger, I threw the shuriken with all my might, expecting it to cut through the target bulls-eye and the trees behind it from the sheer amount of power behind the throw and the precision used.

It bounced off the tree behind me.

"Hn. Not bad."came a voice from my left.

"Uchiha-san. The target is one metre in front of us and everyone else hit the target. Even Yasuko who still has snot dribbling out of his nose can hit the bulls-eye."

"Hn."

"Troublesome."

* * *

Omake…

Paperwork ninjas read through the Entrance Exam Papers to methodically extract the students with the most potential, planning for the future of the Great Fire Nation. A paperwork ninja picks up a script, a scrawled name reads, "Kiseki Sagi".

"She has an…irresistible urge to become the best ninja road sweeper in the world?"

"Pass!" The director roared. There were too many damn leaves in this country.

* * *

"She wants to be a… master ninja calculator?"

"Pass!" The director roared. He stopped doing math problems after he graduated from the Academy, and really needed that latest tax bill calculated.

* * *

"She wants to be a… Head of Potatoes?"

"Pas- Is that job already taken by some one?"

"Not really no-"

"Pass!" The director roared. Potatoes were a foreign food, but it sounded good.

* * *

"She wants to be a…Paperwork ninja?"

"Fai-"

"Oh, it says here that she will invent new ways for paperwork to be filled up by itself and-"

"PASS! FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI PASS THAT GIRL!"The director roared, making the echoes resound in the hallways. Iruka-sensei wondered from his desk who exactly gained such a standing ovation from the fearsome director.

As he knocked on the office door and stepped in, he saw the director drowning in piles of unfinished paperwork. Alarmed, Iruka-sensei rushed forward trying to relieve the Director of his workload, mentally reprimanding the office staff for letting it get to this state. His ears picked up the soft voice of the director.

"Help..me..pass...Kiseki Sagi..."were the director's last words as he cast a bleary-eyed look onto an extremely confused Iruka.

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter: Who is your favourite Jinchuriki?**

 **Answer of the day: Itachi, because I believe with all my heart that he would have been able to single handedly defeat Madara if it had not been for his heart condition. Also, because he is one BAMF.**

 **Kiseki's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 1(+1)**


	3. Chapter 3

**B.A. Victoria – It would be possible that Kiseki tries to recreate some of the more basic things from her past life! After all, normal people don't know how to build an airplane or a printer, do they? :D Thank you for reviewing once more!**

 **Alexandria Ackerman – Thank you for your review and I hope you enjoy your stay! Your vote will be added to the poll below** **J**

 **Thank you to everyone who favourited, followed and reviewed, and even all of you silent readers out there ;D Your support means so much to me and really keeps me going!**

* * *

Have you ever felt as though you wanted to do a time skip in real life? As though you know that your year will be meaningless and boring and probably not contribute much to your overall development as a human being?

I have, and I still do. Seriously, looking at the random kikai on Umino-sensei's head was not the most exciting activity in the world, and a tiny snort from the head leaning on my left arm reminded me once more of my restrictions and my promise to stop escaping out of class whenever the class got boring. Seriously, the blue hair wasn't even my fault! That whiskered blonde boy placed the stupid bucket on top of the schools' doors so that whoever passed through would be dyed blue, it was a miracle that I only got my hair wet from it.

Although the prankster was suitably disciplined for his act of causing another student trouble, I was still seething with anger from that blasted smirk on his whiskered face. He was officially Cretin 2 in my book. His pathetic attempts to draw attention will not work on such a distinguished person such as myself, for I have been well trained in the Art of Ignoring Distractions.

Anyways, back to class. It was on the exciting subject of the major clans in Konoha, which quickly led me to a deeper observation about the Academy system. The clan kids were all in class 1A, which meant that they were the ones that teachers would most likely pass, and the civilians were just thrown in at random. This means that two large cliques were quickly formed. The civilian clique, and the clan kid clique. I was in neither, seeing as I was a civilian whose only friend was a clan kid.

I would be distraught at my lack of a social circle, but I honestly couldn't be bothered to. Shikamaru's mannerisms probably rubbed off on me more than I thought, that annoying minion. I shoved his head off my arm and a quick thought flashed through my head. _His hair felt really soft, so how did it stand up like that at the back?_ I then brushed it off as a passing idea, because I got used to the ninja world by now. Nothing obeyed the laws of the universe. Nada. Nope.

As I idly started to play with the soft ends of my minion's hair, my hand froze mid-stroke when a quiet purr emitted from his mouth and he nuzzled back into my arm. _He's a cat now, huh._ No matter, an evil cat was a good cat, I reassured myself, as a dark crooked grin appeared on my lips, creating a scary aura around me which made the surrounding students cower in fear. _And we all know what we do with new pets._

The next day, I skipped up to my favourite minion, and handed him a small package, wrapped nicely in wrapping paper. He looked at me suspiciously, obviously not believing that my kind virgin heart would be so generous and magnificent to bestow on him such wonderful gifts. Upon further confirmation that there were no traps inside, he opened it to find a ball of yarn, a squeaky mouse toy and a leash. A questioning look was directed to me, but was paused and replaced with a sigh of resignation as he wore the leash around his wristband and stuffed the other things into his pocket. "Troublesome. Why am I friends with such a weird girl again?"

I hid my smile as I flipped the leash over, intending to show off the underside of the leash. "Meown." It said. It was a rather clever pun on my part, a mixture of my possessiveness and showing off his cat-like tendencies. Too bad by that time, he was once again fast asleep on the desk next to mine, a small line of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.

* * *

Of course, no one spends all day at the Academy. (Unless I had a specific question about basic topics that I needed to pester an unwilling instructor with) In my free time, I enjoyed training up my chakra control through sticking parts of me to surfaces, seeing as it was the only thing close to ninja training I could do. However, it was time to get a new hobby. After all, we can't have another Sasuke, could we? Sasuke was _boring_ , after all.

As I stalked through the markets, in search of a possible idea for a fun activity, a brightly coloured poster on a pillar caught my eye. It was an advertisement for the revolutionary new invention, made by Hajima Nadoka, called the "straw", a thin wooden tube meant to drink cold drinks on hot days. The product mentioned was on sale opposite it. What shocked me was the visuals of dozens of competitive old ladies fighting to the front of the line to buy this "straw".

"My grandson would love this for his birthday present!"One of them cried out.  
"I need this for my husband; his teeth are all falling out!"Another shrieked, before tripping on a leg that another woman stuck out.

A genius plan came to mind and I slowly grinned, baring all of my teeth and gums.

 _No one can escape from this._

.

.

.

"Introducing this new and improved, Tissue Paper! Perfect for blowing your nose, coughing and anything else! Revolutionary and right at your finger tips! What makes this product even better is its easy disposal! Don't want to ruin the sleeve of that new kimono? Come buy your next packet of tissue paper here! Only 10 ryo per packet, buy it before it gets sold out!"

I made 5000 ryo that day. My servants were forbidden from asking from the whereabouts of my new money source, but a mysterious envelope for "Investments" appeared on my bed a few nights later.

They cried in happiness when they were presented with a "Best Servants in the World" gold-plated cup not one month later, complete with a handcrafted master and servant detail at the handle. After all, you can only judge a person through how they treat their inferiors.

* * *

Omake

Shikamaru exhibits intensely catlike behavior:

1\. He likes lazing in the sun.

"SHIKAMARU NARA! How many times do I have to scream at you, for you to feed the deer! Look at the state of Rikumaru, he looks positively famished!"

"It's not my fault he chooses to feed during my afternoon nap, Kaa-san."

2\. He enjoys napping while curled up into a ball.

"What is that round-shaped thing on that bench, Kiseki-chan?"

"Oh nothing, just Shikamaru-kun dozing off as usual. How are you, Choji-kun?"

3\. He is snappy when woken up, but will purr when pet on the head.

Shikamaru bats away the annoying hand for the fifth time that lesson, preparing for his famous Nara Glare, before shivering in happiness at the comforting hand in his ponytail and nuzzling into said hand.

4\. His hair stands up when he is angered.

"But my hair stands up all the ti-."

"No excuses!" Kiseki whispered, shutting him up with a palm across his mouth."

"Trowblweswome."

5\. He can't stop chasing mice.

"Stop stalking Hinata-chan, or I'm going to sneak a note to Hiashi-sama about his daughter's secret admirer."

"I wasn't stalking, I was satiating my curiosity about the Hyuuga Heir."

* * *

A pair of milky white eyes stared at the back of her head, memorizing her graceful walk the best he could while his cheeks burned. When she turned her head back after feeling someone's eyes on her, he hid and felt his fists clench. Why couldn't he be one year younger and share the same class as her? Then it would have been much easier to associate with her and bask in her beauty. However, the chance had to go to his honourable cousin once again, meek and shy, undeserving of such an opportunity. Why?

His curse seal felt his hatred for the Main branch grow.

* * *

Sasuke, the obvious main protagonist of this story, was finding it hard to be with his one true love.

Despite all his compliments, his starstruck following and his constant presence in the class, Kiseki-chan was not responding to him. What made it worse was that Aniki didn't even try to help, instead chuckling and directing Sasuke to Kaa-san. She wasn't much help either, constantly cooing at his "adorableness" and "first crush" that he found it hard to be around her, especially during some times of the month when she was the most emotional for some reason.

Thankfully, Kaa-san made an excellent wingmom, arranging playdates with Kurutta-san as often as she could, making an extra bento set for him to give to Kiseki during lunch, and…

His cheeks burnt at the thought.

And _giving him ideas on how to hold hands with her._

 _Attempt 1:_

"Kiseki-chan! Can I measure your heart rate!" Cretin 1 pants as he runs after me, thinking that he can trick me so easily into giving away my weak point. I walk straight ahead, ignoring him.

 _Attempt 2:_

"Kiseki-chan! Kiseki-chan-Oops!" I felt myself being barreled over by Cretin 1, instant figurative flames of terror instantly engulfing me as I turned to glare intensely (I learnt how to utilise the famous Nara Glare) at his outstretched hand from my position on the ground, probably mocking me for my horrible balance. The nerve of Cretin 1 will get him killed one day, most likely by me.

Sasuke pissed his pants.

 _Attempt 3:_

"Kiseki-chan! My hands are cold! Could you warm them up for me?" Annoying Cretin asked, looking at me with big fat puppy eyes. I felt my resolve wavering at this, because the Uchiha Puppy Stare was right above the Nara Glare on the village's civilian-made list on Most Effective Expressions by Clans. Slowly reaching out for his hand, Annoying Cretin somehow widened his eyes even more as he watched in anticipation. Our fingertips were almost touching before-

"Sasuke-kun! I'll warm them up for you!"a blonde-haired fangirl popped up.

"Sasuke-kun! My hands are yours to ignite!" This time, a purple-haired girl threw herself at Cretin 1 with literal hearts in her eyes.

"Sasuke-kun!"all of them chorused, slowly advancing on a terrified Cretin 1.

"Save me, Aniki!"

Itachi chuckled. The Battle Against the Fangirls were practically a Uchiha rite of passage. By defeating them, you earned the right to be a true Uchiha. That would be the ultimate testament of his ability one day.

* * *

Shino Aburame was curious about the Sagi. Everything about her spoke _normal_ , from her brown eyes, black hair and an average face with a constantly crooked lip. So why were all the boys in Class 1A so interested in her? She barely gave anyone the time of the day, with the exception of Shikamaru who seemed to be more of a slave than a friend, especially after he started wearing that leash of hers. Not that he cared, since all he did in class was sleep on the desk, with his head tilted slightly towards Kiseki should she feel like petting his hair.

He could sense the possessiveness from a mile away.

He firmly told himself that Kiseki Sagi will not bewitch him, because such a being was unnatural, and he needed to figure out her tricks before he was hooked into her line with no way of escaping.

Then, Kiseki smiled at him.

"Hi! Could you show me your bugs? They look really cool!" His heart stopped. No one had ever said such a thing before. Within his family, he was treated like royalty. Among his classmates, he was ostracised and ridiculed for his strange appearance and affinity with the insects.

This girl genuinely appreciated his kikkai, the positive humming confirmed it.

Shino thought that he might be in love.

* * *

 **Hey guys Jeye here~ Thank you for reading this chapter! If you liked it, please favourite, follow or review?:3 These are love and really help to keep me going!**

 **Question of the Chapter: If you could save one character from dying without having any negative repercussions, who would you save?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Gaara, because of his impressive feat of changing people's opinions of him, from a demon monster to a respectable and honourable Kazekage. And also because he is adorable and I love red hair.**

 **Kiseki's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 2(+1)**


	4. Chapter 4

**KnightLawn - Thank you for your interest in Draw the Curtains! I'm glad that you find these chapters satisfactory:)**

 **HexWick - I update everyday at SGT 12am, so I hope that you will keep on reading this story! Thank you for your excitement, it has truly motivated me to finish this chapter today:)**

 **I do not own Naruto, no matter how much I want to change the story in canon :')**

 **Thank you to everyone who favourited, followed, reviewed or even read this story silently!(yeah I see you, you the one reading this in the dark) I truly appreciate your outstanding support~ This story suddenly gained like twice the favourites and follows in one day, you cannot imagine how ecstatic I was upon reading the statistics!**

 **I love all of you~**

* * *

The height difference between Shikamaru and I was not a lot, but due to his slouching, he looked significantly shorter than me. This was very frequently exploited by me to sneak attack him when he least expected it from above with ponytail ruffles (resulting in a grumpy look), before his growth spurt started. On a side and completely unrelated note, Shikamaru's ponytail senses grew more sensitive, making him much more receptive to my pettings.

Let me just expand briefly on the purr of a Nara. Naras are generally lazy creatures, and hence a purr, a physical reaction, would be a closest thing to an outright declaration of affection. Hence, the louder the purr, the more affectionate the Nara. It was science, really. Shikamaru's purr sounded half between a mewl and a _rrrrr_. Did you know that cat purrs have proven to have healing effects? I wonder what kind of effects a Nara purr has...

Growth spurts gave me a nasty shock in my last life, so this time I was prepared to fully lord my height in whatever way I could, starting by using their heads and shoulders as an armrest. Cretin number 1 frequently volunteered, for some strange reason. However, he was always dismissed because his hair was just too spiky and tickled my arm. I pretended to ignore his crestfallen look after every rejection, because his uselessness as an armrest made him unworthy of my pity.

Hence, the hunt for Best Head for Armresting began.

I was currently situated inside my bedroom, pouring over pictures of clans, searching for the perfect hair. Uchiha, no. Senju, yes but there weren't any in the village. Inuzaka, no. Nara, sadly no. Akimichi, no. Yamanaka would be a good choice but I highly doubt Ino would agree. Hyuuga? Hinata had short hair, so nope. I poured over the pictures, for a while longer, before deciding on my chosen victim. Their face smiled, staring at me from the page in the book.

* * *

"What the hell-Sagi-chan!" A blonde-haired girl shrieked at the top of her lungs, furiously batting at my arm on her head. "Don't touch the hair!" Her hands froze mid-pat as I grinned down at her, releasing an aura of dominance.

"Yes, Ino-chan?" She looked up at me with her bright blue pupilless eyes before blushing deeply and sinking down to the ground in a deep faint. I frowned. That was a bad height for my arm, so I propped her up on the desk in front of Shikamaru's seat and leaned my arm on her head once more. Perfect.

"Hey! What are you doing with Ino-chan!" The same purple-haired fangirl from Sasuke's puppy eyed day popped up. "Let her go!"

I gave her the most blinding smile I could manage, making sure that each teeth gleamed with the light of a hundred suns, not seeing a passing green jonin outside the classroom window who stopped and stared at this Youthful Inspiring Student. The beams of light pushed the girl back, until she could no longer hold her ground, causing her to fall backwards and run back to her desk crying.

I put my arm back. The jonin's eyes lit up in inspiration.

A certain gray-haired shinobi shivered in fear.

* * *

A few months had passed since the Academy started, and I was starting to get used to my classmates' quirks and personalities. A new class was introduced, called Taijutsu.

In short, Taijutsu was amazing, I was not. I tried to mimic every kick and punch that Umino-sensei taught us, but it just felt so much weaker and sloppier than the kids around me. A dark cloud formed above my head, making my depressive state appear even more pitiful than normal.

Not realizing the reason for why everyone looked at me concerned, I continued kicking and punching the wooden post until I felt a small hand circle my wrist from behind and correct my fist. Another arm changed my posture through pressing on certain points on my spine. Though as fast as the person did it, they were gone. Not wanting to break out of the finally correct stance I was taking, I resolved to investigate the person later.

"Gai, what did you do? For one second, you were gone!" A senbon-chewing shinobi on the other side of Konoha asked the green jonin. Gai shot out two thumbs ups, grinning with teeth that gleamed in the sunlight. "Why, I was just training my future apprentice, for she was having trouble with her Youthful Academy Stance!"

A gray-haired ("It's Silver!") ANBU in the tree sneezed as he watched Naruto paint the Yondaime pink for the third time that week.

* * *

Far far away, in Wind Country, a chibi red headed boy looked up at his favourite uncle and smiled, his jade green eyes lighting up at the sight of his favourite person in the entire world.

"I love you, Uncle Yashamaru!"

Yashamaru smiled back down sadly at the young jinchuriki, guilt-ridden at the thought of his dreaded mission to be carried out one year later.

"I love you too, Gaara."

* * *

I sat in front of a mirror, staring intensely at my reflection. I never cared much about my appearance, having been covered head to toe with black in my past life for maximum stealth. Now, I could be stealthy without the use of such clothing, but that was not the reason why I was so focused upon my image.

I read a certain article in a gossip newspaper of good traits for 'special' kunoichi to have. I didn't bother to read through the details of what 'special' kunoichi consisted of, after all people could not get much more 'special' than a time traveler reincarnated baby, could they?

 _Tip 1._ _Grow out long hair with curly ends, so that it would be easier to attract attention, and curl the ends so that it can be deftly twirled around the fingers for maximum effect._

I was confused on why this step needed to be taken, as it was not what I expected from a magazine that taught the great ninja arts, and I stared at my thick black hair suspiciously. So hair could be a weapon, huh? I thought back to all the heads that I favoured for armrests, and gasped in realisation. My classmates were obviously working their way up to become the best ninja in the year against me as part of their savage plan, but now that I found this trick, I was determined not to share that I found their secret. Fools, all of them. I eagerly read the next tip.

 _Tip 2. Learn how to bat your eyelids and wink._

Having seen plenty of Hollywood actresses in my past life, I was sure that I could carry this out easily. Infiltration usually required etiquette for luxurious places in order to steal my high classed artifacts, so this was a piece of cake.

 _Tip 3:Touch his arm occasionally._

Whose arm? I searched through my mind for any males the article might be talking about. This was when I finally read the title.

"Is He the One for You?"

Of course, Shikamaru would definitely make a perfect minion. How dare this article make me doubt myself so. Irritation flashed through my eyes as I ripped the newspaper to spreads. The editor of this week's edition will pay for this.

* * *

~Chibi Kiseki X Chibi Shikamaru~

We walked through the streets towards the Nara estate as we did every Mondays and Thursdays, with my hand on his leash. If you were an outsider, we would look like we were two five-year-olds holding hands, due to the leash being wrapped around his wrist. Adults cooed, boys booed, girls gossiped, and Hokages read Icha Icha.

Shikamaru stared disinterestedly into the distance because he was a good minion who wasn't affected by other people's opinion of him, making me look at him in pride adoringly.

Wait, what? I whipped my head back to find a peaceful looking Hokage-sama smoking his pipe outside Ichikaru Ramen like any old man in Konoha. I stared accusingly at his hand, and then met his eyes. He looked nervously back at me, trying to act as though the God of Shinobi had not been just caught red-handed by a five-year-old girl reading trashy porn.

Unfortunately for him, I wasn't your typical kid so I continued staring intensely, noting how his pipe started to slip from how much his palms were sweating.

Increasing my intensity of my stare, I narrowed my eyes and he checked his surroundings before mouthing "Tell no one."

"If you do something for me," I mouthed back. Nothing is free in this world, after all.

We descended into a bargaining match back and forth, and he looked to be on a time limit, because he started hurriedly ninja signing immediately after hearing a loud "dattebayo!" coming from inside the ramen shop. We battled on higher stakes, because I saw a chance to get what I want, and all I needed to do was to use Cretin 2 as an excuse.

"What's taking so long, Jiji?"

Defeated, the God of Shinobi wearily nodded at me, giving in to my demands of a hundred dango sticks, marking Phase 1 of my secret plans complete.

Shikamaru was about to complain about my long pause on the walk to his house, before shutting up abruptly as I excitedly placed a kiss on his cheek because holy shit, I just made the Hokage submit to me and it was a cause for celebration. Not noticing the blush that spread across his rounded puffy face and his big eyes widening more than humanely possible, I continued obliviously skipping towards our destination.

* * *

Omake

Recipe for Pawn by Danzo Shimura

1 Young Idealistic Uchiha Heir

2 Cups of Uchiha Unrest

4 Pinches of Brother Complexes

12 Tablespoons of Stress to bring honour to the Uchiha Clan

1 Cup of Terminal Heart Disease

1 Teaspoon of Manipulation

Serves: 1 serving of Eternal Pain and Suffering

* * *

Kurutta Sagi was a smart woman. She knew that her daughter was an eccentric genius, somehow acing her tests despite having no prior coaching like most of the clan kids, getting the powerful Uchiha matriarch to form a connection with her instead of the other way around, and even gaining the adoration of several powerful clan heirs in just a few months.

Kiseki bossed everyone around, and didn't care that some people did not want to be bossed around by her, instead turning on her sweet charm to manipulate them into doing what she wanted.

However, Kurutta was also a loving mother, who would adore Kiseki despite her manipulations and superiority complex. So what if she was treated like a servant? It was a duty of a mother to help their child reach their goals, and if her child wanted to be the ruler of the universe, so be it.

She only wished that she had thought of it during her younger days, because there was no doubt that no matter how shrewd her daughter's methods were, they were brilliant and most importantly-successful.

She had no doubt that Kiseki would grow up to do great things one day, Kurutta thought as she smiled down, teary-eyed at her "Best Servant in the World" mug.

* * *

Omake

~The effects of Shikamaru's purrs~

 _Outside the gates of Konoha, a blonde haired ninja and a masked ninja discussed their plans to invade the village to end the Hokage's term once and for all. They were just about to proceed when-_

"Oh God help us all!" screamed a shinobi as he ran out of the village gates.

"But you're the God of Shinobi, Hokage-sama!" shrieked another, right on the first one's trail.

"Does it look like it helps, Shimura?" the first shinobi screeched back, and both ninjas fled as fast as they could, leaving a trail of dust and a pair of extremely puzzled Akatsuki behind.

"What the fuck, un?" wondered Deidara.

"Tobi is a...good...boy?" questioned Tobi, too bewildered to even pay any attention to Madara.

They turned towards the gates, and what met their eyes turned their blood cold as ice.

Thousands of humans with cat ears and tails lazed around the village, basking in the sun, ocassionally stretching out their limbs. All of them crowded around a throne made of rat bones, which on top seated a perfectly ordinary looking girl with brown eyes and black hair. Her eyes sparkled as she beckoned for a particularly affectionate cat with a spiky ponytail to come to her, and closed in bliss as the cat purred at her stroking its fur.

Then, a random grey cat with an eyepatch lazily strolled up and said "Your majesty, there seems to be an intruder in our realm." And with that, every cat's head swiveled towards the duo, the mentioned suddenly feeling very insecure and unsure of the success of their mission for the first time since they were Genin.

The situation somehow got even worse when Uchiha Puppy Eyes aimed at them, begging them for tender loving care.

"What. The. Fuck. Un. I'm getting out of here. Tobi, stay here and become cat bait, I'll go report to Leader-sama about this new devlop- Tobi?"

Tobi was lost to the cats, wearing his Akatsuki cloak like a fur coat, walking on all fours and rubbing himself against other cats, who returned the gesture happily.

Deidara was so stunned that he didn't here the faint purring next to his ear.

 _rrrrrrrr._

* * *

 **And that's a wrap! Thank you for hanging on with me so far, I know it's a bit boring now, but a few chapters more of pre-canon fluff and we'll be diving right in to the massive ripples of change that Kiseki's going to unknowingly cause! If you could, please leave a review telling me what you think, favourite this story if you liked it, and follow it if you want to receive daily notifications when I update this story!**

 **Question of the Chapter: Which member of Team 7 do you think you're the most alike to? (Genin and Shipudden are regarded as different characters)**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Definitely Jiraiya, because that Opening MV still makes me cry every time I watch it. I know Naruto experiences a lot of character development due to his godfather's death, but if Jiraiya was able to come back after Naruto matured, and was able to watch him become Hokage, I would die a happy soul:')**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 2(+1)**

 **Harem:1**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guest- Thank you for your review! That's a very interesting theory you have there, I'll be sure to add it in as I write this chapter~**

 **Thank you everyone who favourited, reviewed, followed and even those silent readers out there (Yes, you over there procrastinating.)**

 **I do not own Naruto, now let's get on with the story!**

* * *

Although I was relatively okay in the friends department and didn't have any major rivalries with anyone, it was time to change this plan if I wanted world domination. Firstly, I identified my future specialisation on the first day of the Academy - Jutsu Theft. I may not have the Sharingan like the Uchihas or even eidetic memory like the pink haired girl, but my stealth was my strength. To blend in with the shadows, yet stand in plain sight. That, was my goal.

For somebody like me, making friends with the Nara Clan was obviously the best choice of action. They were masters of the shadows, and training with them will only guide me more on how to use the shadows to my advantage, and work alongside it. Making friends with popular people like Ino-chan however, I shuddered. However excellent an armrest she made, her banshee wails deafened me every time she was used as my personal armrest. Alas, she should have been more grateful, for now she was fired from her first job.

Hence, it was time to make my next connection, Uchiha Itachi, the prodigy of Konoha and older brother of Cretin 1.

* * *

Cretin 1 was overjoyed upon hearing that I wanted to walk with him to the Uchiha Compound, as should be the proper action when one receives an invitation from their soon to be ruler. He tried to take my hand while we strolled, and I would probably have let him, out of the kindness of my heart, had he not sweated profusely through his palms and visibly wiped them on his dirty shirt.

As we set foot inside the compound, he dashed off to a random corridor, screaming for "Aniki!" I waited patiently in the hallway for this "Aniki", and was wondering when "Itachi" would be called. A female Uchiha greeted me with kind eyes, asking me, "May I help you?" I smiled as demurely as I could and shook my head, remembering the etiquette lessons that my mother had forced me to attend and commit to memory in my past life. _Don't speak unless necessary, place your hands and knees together, never slouch._

"Aniki's going to teach us how to throw shuriken! He's the best brother ever!" I heard an annoying voice call out from one of the many corridors. Cretin 1 came into view with a frazzled brother in tow. Well as frazzled as a Uchiha with hax genes could look. Perfect. I smiled up at "Aniki" and whispered as adorably as I could, "Thank you Itachi-san, you're a very kind ninja." Adding in an extra sparkle in my eyes, I watched as the second most emotionally stunted person blink and give me a tiny curve of the lip.

"If you're both so eager, what are we waiting for? Kaa-san has prepared dinner for you, Kiseki-san." As Cretin 1 ran towards the training grounds to prepare the dummies, I turned to him.

"Please train me for a few months!" I was shot down with an immediate "No." as he continued walking towards the training grounds. Jogging to catch up with his large strides, I continued pleading.

"I'll treat you to a stick dango at the end of each session!" Itachi walked faster, the deal silently sealed. Thank Kami for Hokage blackmail.

* * *

Itachi was easily the harshest instructor in the village. Running on rooftops beside him at jonin speeds, stealing useless items from genins in plain sight, or even being able to pinpoint the exact location of a sound while dodging senbon had become the norm after so many weeks of conditioning. Despite him running me to the ground every training session, resulting in me gaining multiple bruises, blisters and cuts, I always improved by leaps and bounds and made sure to remind him every time he was rewarded with a dango stick at the end of each session.

Honestly, I felt that he was only that maniacal when dango was at stake, but _never_ let him know that. He might skin me alive and call it training.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter! I was rereading the previous chapters and realised that I've been doing too many filler chapters, so I'll try to speed up the pace and hurry up to develop Kiseki to be more than a one dimensional character!**

 **Question of the Chapter: If you could change one villain to change sides, who would you convert first?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Genin Kakashi, because I'm a huge stickler for rules and I get so anxious when I'm not 5 minutes early. Also, my dad's the shit because he's so smart and I love him.**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 2(+1)**

 **Harem:1**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guest- Thank you for commenting on 'literally' every one of my chapters, it brought a big smile to my face when I read them! I hope you continue to follow this story, I'm planning for the plot to get more exciting from now~**

 **Nightshade929 - Thank you for your review! I don't really get what "gueeb to defend" means, but I get the gist of it! Yeah, Neji does turn into a much better person after his encounter with Naruto, but he was honestly such an asshole to everyone before then, especially Hinata and I get so angry about it sometimes. By the way, your vote has been counted in the poll:DC**

 **Chrissycupcake - Thank you for your positive review, I hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **You know what, guys? After reading your reviews I am so PUMPED to actually finish a story for once! I was so sleepy last night that I forgot to hit "Publish" before I just sank to the bed and knocked myself out, but to make up for it, I'm starting this chapter on the bus home on my phone~~Let's start!**

Kiseki was not stupid, but neither was she smart. She was crafty, and merciless underneath the public image of being adorable and innocent she displayed. Having allies was important, but what was even more crucial was managing those allies to gain their loyalty.

Hence, she pulled a Pavlov on them. The reasoning behind Pavlov's theory of classical conditioning is that if every instance you see a person and associate them with an object or event that you feel immense emotions towards, after a while you will feel intense feelings towards the same person everytime you see them. **In case you're interested, a longer explanation about Pavlov's theory is at the end of the chapter.**

With Shikamaru, she planned out an image of rest and comfort. With Ino, she planned out an image of constant worship. With Itachi, she planned out an image of affection.

Kiseki was never a believer of making friends with the whole world, only having complete control over it. She fully trusted that with the loyalty of a few competent men, her dreams would become reality. However, there was a certain one-eyed men who shared her vision. Neither would be willing to conceed.

* * *

I first noticed Danzo Shimura when Itachi started to excuse himself from their training sessions for a meeting with "Shimura-sama", despite the bribe of dango. At first shocked and in disbelief, I quickly regained my senses and followed Itachi to his destination. My current mastery of stealth was not yet good enough for closely stalking an ANBU member, so I trailed behind from afar, occasionally jumping on different rooftops to throw any suspicion of my activity off me.

However, right when he was reaching a distant clearing far away from the rest of the village, Itachi disappeared. Stopping, I surveyed the unknown area, recognising the early signs of a genjutsu and multiple traps, before deciding to investigate the place at another time.

From that day forward, I made daily trips there and back, sometimes seeing the whoosh of ANBU and the whirring of an unknown machine underground. My parents slept soundly in their bedroom, peacefully oblivious to their child's activities.

It was only when I noticed the coincidental timings where the Shadow Hokage was unavailable that I knew, that Danzo Shimura had an underground base full of fake Anbu, most likely to help carry out his nefarious deeds. My lip curled in a smirk. While I might not be strong enough to overpower him, being an Academy student, but who said the worst deeds were done by the villain's own hands?

It was, of course by complete magic that a report on Root by a random chunin on shinobi patrol fell on the Hokages table between mission reports, and that Iruka Umino fell sick with a migraine the day before then bewilderedly receiving a sudden pay raise. ROOT was "disbanded" and Danzo received a great deal of distrust from everyone in the village when the information was accidentally leaked out.

Ah, the joys of having a convenient scapegoat.

However, I was a perfectionist, and when Danzo continued his nightly escapes, my suspicions of Root's hidden continuity was confirmed. Upon a rooftop, my eyes narrowed as I crouched in the shadows. Determined to put an end to this as soon as possible, my mind whirred to life with more plans and a more elaborate scheme. The Hokage was foolish for trusting his old friend despite his clear act of betrayal, instead letting Danzo manipulate him and threaten the stability of Konoha for the sake of a one-sided friendship.

It was clear that Sarutobi Hiruzen was past his prime as Hokage, and I knew the perfect replacement.

Although I had already gone through months of training, fully unknowingly funded for by the Hokage, Itachi had yet to tell me about the final test he had been planning. I felt nervous at the possibilities, my brain flashing through possible missions that involved danger, fighting and tactics. What could it be? That afternoon, he swooped down to the training grounds and held a scroll out to her, closely resembling a real mission scroll. Once I took it, he shunshined away, obviously not wanting to be responsible for my actions.

As I unfurled said scroll, I gasped in shock as tears trailed down my cheeks. Crows cawed as they flew upwards to the sky, hinting at Itachi's well-hidden sadism.

There, in bright pink and and bold orange cursive, read "Find what's under Jonin Hatake Kakashi's mask."

 _It's impossible. I can't do this._

What made it worse was that Itachi refused to continue training me until I finished the mission, no matter how many dango I bribed him with. I fell down in despair.

* * *

Sakura was getting tired of only being known of her hair. It was the fifth time that week that Kiseki-chan called her "Pink-haired girl" to her face, and refused to call her by her actual name no matter how she asked. Hence, she went to her best friend Ino-chan for help, since Kiseki actually called Pig by her real name for some reason.

"Forehead! What do you want?"

"Pig, I need advice! How do I get Kiseki-chan's respect and recognition? She doesn't even care about my name, no matter how many bentos I bribe her with!"

"Oh, that's easy, just grow out your hair until it's long and smooth! That's how I did it, after all."

* * *

Chibi Naruto disliked Kiseki. She was rude, uncaring and undeserving of all the attention that was placed on her, just like that Bastard. He often heard of her infamous parents that were feared among merchants but doted on her to the point where she only needed to smile to get them to do something. She was so pri-privi- lucky, unlike him. When he was Hokage, he vowed, Kiseki-chan would be the first one out, right before Teme. After all, she was just another of those rich kids that acted like the bullies in the orpha-orfa home for kids without parents, and didn't deserve a place in this country where Jiji ruled.

He hoped that he would not join her class, even if pretty Sakura-chan was part of it. Kiseki was no where as pretty, with her plain features and her constant poker face. Although he constantly noticed the people surrounding her to absentmindedly look at her, Chibi Naruto did not feel compelled at all to do so. What was this magic going on? If he told the old man about her, he would focus on her instead of him, just like everyone he knew.

Kiseki was stealing his attention, and he hated it. Despite all the pranks he pulled, she somehow always knew about it beforehand, putting her feet in the right places, sometimes walking on the wall to evade the rigged floor. Not a single one out of his hundreds of traps succeeded in tricking her. She was unnatural, and overtly perfect. This infuriated Chibi Naruto, his eyes flashing red for a second.

* * *

A year had passed and I turned 6. A large number of students from my year dropped out of the Academy to go to civilian school, making the number of classes drop from 5 to 3. I made a name for myself as a budding inventor of simple household objects in the civilian market, behind the guise of Murasaki Nakamura, a pleasant and humble 34-year old dishwasher who was aspiring for a higher income.

If said dishwasher woke up with headaches every Saturday evening and a tidy sum of money on her bed, no one complained. Of course, electricity was hard to work with, but a tiny genjutsu to nudge the local electrician in the right direction was truly a miracle, and I was surprised that no one had better used the art yet!

The possibilities of the manipulation of the mind, to make people see things that weren't actually there... I began to salivate at the thought. Diamonds could be faked to be still there for viewing, while the actual was sold years ago for millions of dollars, buildings could be made into haunted houses with just a single person's imagination and chakra stamina, and traps could be manipulated to look like other types of traps altogether!

Itachi was an amazing teacher, and no one could make me think otherwise. Who else would have been able to train me up so fast at the age of 5? We had not started on actual ninjutsu yet, for that was reserved for the last 2 years, but I was quite ahead of the class. Smiling widely, I continued thinking up amazing ways that genjutsu could be utillised.

Shikamaru moved away from me. I reflexively pulled on his leash. He stopped and resigned himself to lying down with his head on the table with a murmur of "Troublesome.", making a sense of pride rise up within me at his sign of tolerance.

"Who's a good minion?" I praised, wiping away the drool with the corner of a napkin that Cretin 1 offered me before patting the long strands of his hair once more and listening too the comforting sounds of _prrrr prrrrr_.

Omake

~Cats and Dogs~

Kiba sniffed the air and his ears tingled at the sound of a distinctive catlike noise. To his surprise, no such feline was found within 5 meters, the radius of his current sniffing ability as part of the Inuzuka clan.

 _prrrr, prrrr._

His ears flicked upwards twice in succession.

 _prrrr, prrrr._

He growled softly, daring the invisible cat to make itself known. To his surprise, Shikamaru walked up and asked him if he was "okay?", Kiseki following close behind as usual. Kiba replied neutrally, still on the lookout for the telltale sign of a dangling tale. The two kids left and he was left by himself again, listening intently for any signs of felines.

 _prrrr, prrrr._

His ears flicked upwards thrice in succession.

Omake

Sasuke couldn't believe it. Kiseki-chan used his hankerchief, the one Aniki bought for him at the fair! He stared at the drool stained corner in reverence, thoroughly confusing his brother when he walked into his room to find Sasuke in a staring contest with a napkin.

A thought flashed through Sasuke's head and his head jerked up to glare at Aniki. Itachi was surprised by this sudden show of hostility that Sasuke had never displayed towards his beloved brother before, but maintained his cool composure.

"Aniki, stop stealing Kiseki-chan away from me!"

"Otouto, perhaps when you're strong enough, Kiseki- _chan_ would go to you for training instead of me. Have you practiced your shuriken training today?"

Sasuke slunked back in his chair. "No..." he grouched. "But Aniki will always be better than me, so how can I steal Kiseki-chan's attention back?"

Itachi smiled gently as he poked Sasuke's forehead. "Foolish, Otouto. I know that you will surpass me one day, so work hard, okay?"

Privately, Itachi thought that Kiseki didn't deserve a _chan._ That girl was crazy when chasing after him while doing shuriken training, he reflected as he touched the sensitive area on his back where the sharp weapon had nicked him. How that girl hadn't already been snatched up by ANBU was beyond him. However, it was not wise to look a gift horse in its mouth, for everything he did was for the good of Konoha, so that children like Sasuke and Kiseki wouldn't have to become child soldiers like him.

Choji walked up to a group of clan kids in the playground who seemed to be recruiting participants for a new game of Ninja, while chomping on some chips. Although they had an odd number of children, they were unwilling to accept him into the group.

"Go away, fatty! Any group that gets you always loses!" The leader of the group shouted, a little boy with greenish-blue spiky hair.

"Hey hey, if he doesn't join, the teams will be uneven." a black-haired girl spoke up, with Shikamaru beside her nodding slightly. A silver of hope rose in Choji's heart, but was quickly crushed when the kid replied "I don't care! If I don't want fatso to play, he doesn't!"

"I'm not fat, I'm just big boned..." whispered Choji as his eyes welled up in tears, running off to escape his humiliation. His pudgy body stopped at a field, in which he crouched in the grass and wept, drops of tears falling at his inability to make friends even after a year.

Shikamaru walked up to him, and laid down on the grass beside him.

"Why aren't you playing, Shikamaru? Where's Kiseki?" Choji enquired while sniffing.

"It's too troublesome. Kiseki stayed to even out the teams, otherwise she would be here too." reluctantly confided Shikamaru. They enjoyed the warmth of the sunlight in peace as a close bond formed between them.

Personally, Shikamaru thought that Kiseki would have stayed even if the teams were even, because she didn't actually care about anything other than the game. Choji probably wouldn't have liked hearing that. Troublesome.

Meanwhile...

A flurry of kunai was blocked by a wall of sand. Making a fist, the frightened boy turned around and clenched, producing a spray of blood from the body inside the sand. Upon release, the body dropped to the floor, revealing a mop of familiar sandy hair.

"Who is this? Why?"

"Well done, Gaara-sama."

"Yashamaru! Why would you do this? Why is it you?"

"I was ordered to kill you by your father, Kazekage-sama, because you couldn't control the power of the sand."

"So you were forced to do this because of my father's orders?"

"No, that's not true. Gaara-sama... I'm sure I must have hated you deep down. You, who stole my beloved sister's life while being born. "You are all I had left of her." That's what I told myself, and I tried desperately to love never wanted to give birth to you. Ever since then, I carried a wound in my heart that will never heal."

"His name is Gaara, the demon who only loves himself."

 **In the Pavlov Theory of Classical conditioning, there's a neutral stimulus, which by itself will not produce a response. There's also a non-neutral or unconditioned stimulus , which will produce an unconditioned response . But if you present the neutral stimulus and the unconditioned stimulus together, eventually the person will learn to associate the two. After a while, the neutral stimulus by itself will produce the same response as the unconditioned stimulus. This is called a conditioned response.**

 **Kiseki is gaining strength, at a pace that is normal for an adult, but not unnatural for a ninja. Despite not actually being a genius, Kiseki is still ahead mentally of children, and hence it is normal for her to easily grasp the skills that come naturally to her. Also, our favourite angsty tanuki child has undergone his tragic, traumatic experience, and it is almost time for the canon to start!**

 **Details: If you think you can create a SMASHING summary for this story, please PM it to me! The competition closes when there are 5 or more submissions! Winner gets a 1k oneshot dedicated to whichever character/pairing they desire**

 **Question of the Chapter: What's your favourite pairing? No ocs though!**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Kisame Hoshigaki, because I think that he's honestly such a sweet guy to Itachi and his undying loyalty to his ideals is so interesting and I feel that if we were allies, I would never have to worry about traitors.**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 2(1)**

 **Harem:1**

 **Neji: 1**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ella – You have no idea how unbelievably happy your review made me! The whole point of this writing this fanfiction is for me to relieve some of my stress, so I made it lighthearted and I'm glad you can see that… As for minions, the whole world will one day be her oyster, but I'm just selecting a few key characters to be her team, so maybe I will consider Neji!**

 **haha memes – Thank you for reading my story! I'm glad that you found it engaging, if you're interested we can continue on this journey to the end of this story together 3**

 **Thank you all so much for your reviews and kind words, I'm currently starting this chapter 1.5 hours before my self-set deadline of 12am SGT, and I'm filled with inspiration!**

* * *

 _Julia found herself back in her old hotel room, with million dollar items casually hanging off the couch and ceilings. A letter landed in her nap, addressed to Julia Teo, Hotel 416, Room opening the envelope, she caught a whiff of her usual personal perfume inside it. The letter said, **Come back to us, Julia. You are in a coma, but we have the capability to bring you back. All you need to do, is to sign this letter, anywhere. Come back to us, your life can be taken back. Come back to us, Julia.**_

 _Back before all this started, Julia realized. Back, when she was just an American-Chinese, lost in her purpose of life, mindlessly stealing whatever she fancied. It was much more glamourous than her life as Kiseki, she observed, looking around the hotel room and noting the contrasts in standards._

 _But, Julia was reluctant to go back. She liked being Kiseki. Kiseki had friends, Kiseki had a promising future. Kiseki was her, and she was Kiseki._

 _It was time to move on, and to let go of Julia. Grabbing a kunai that materialized in her pocket, she slashed the letter in half._

I woke up with a start. That dream felt as if… as if I was experiencing a mental battle and finding my true self. What made it stranger was that, I never remembered my dreams in the past. It was always, sleep, wake up, live. Rinse and repeat. A wave of nostalgia washed over me, as I recalled my old room, with the little scratch in the corner of the door I always forgot to replace. The stuffed doll that had a right ear of a different colour. My Goosebumps series, all with little dog ears to mark where I last left off.

They are gone now, the little parts of the room that made it feel _Julia._ But I chose to be Kiseki, and I'm never going back.

Rubbing my eyes, I dragged myself out of bed, still feelings the bruises and tiny cuts from last night's expedition, and drew the curtains back. It was time to face reality again.

I packed my bag and weapons, and set out of the house with a full stomach and a happy Kaa-san who held my hand as we walked. "Kiseki, remember to do your best, okay? Tou-san and I are very proud of you for coming this far, and even though your grades are good in only half the subjects and bad for the other half, we are confident that you have the potential to become Rookie of the Year. Oh, the prestige!"

I grumpily nodded, internally promising myself to not succumb to peer pressure and do whatever the hell I want. I'm the master here, so I make the decisions.

* * *

My second year in the Academy passed by quite uneventfully, Aside from gaining a few more "followers", the only thing I did was to write out some of the books I read back in my old life, starting with _Goosebumps._ However, my writing ability had yet to be properly trained, and the only stories I could write were slightly creepy children's books, with illustrations that I paid someone to help me draw. Despite the initial unpopularity of such stories, my dark nursery rhymes quickly got picked up by the civilians, and several publishers approached me to write it out on scrolls, and help to promote it.

It was good that my future minions were becoming used to my dark humour. It would let them get used to my rule more easily.

One thing that I reminded myself to exploit however was the messages that I could instill in children at a young age. I taught them to fear the outside world, to not rebel their ruler. That betrayal would lead to death, and that the ninja were their saviours, like brave knights saving the damsels in distress.

I had no clue of the great impact I made on canon.

* * *

"Fugaku-sama, there are reports by civilians of possible traitors within the merchants, and several genjutsus being used on them without their consent. Three civilians in particular have reported the same symptoms. A migraine which lasts for a week and a large sum of money deposited in their house. This suspicious activity has occurred for the past year now, and has not stopped."

"Send a team to investigate, no shinobi is permitted to use genjutsu on a civilian for their own means as stated in Rule 116. Commence standard procedure.""Hai, Fugaku-sama."

* * *

Omake

 _What the fuck!_ Itachi internally screamed inside his head. He had once again walked into his otouto's room to find Sasuke once again fanboying over Kiseki, this time directed towards a daisy that he found earlier after training.

"Kiseki-chan loves me, Kiseki-chan loves me not, Kiseki-chan loves me, Kiseki-chan…"

Itachi was extremely disturbed and made his way out of his foolish brother's room as fast as he could.

"Kiseki-chan loves me, Kiseki-chan loves me…not? ITACHI! You obviously stole her from me once more! I counted the petals beforehand, you must have taken one! You will pay for this, Aniki!" the distinct sound of a shuriken being retrieved from the drawer was heard.

Itachi sped out of the compound as fast as he could, with an angry 6 year old chasing after him at an unbelievable speed. _Goddamn Uchiha genes haxing the game,_ the older brother cursed.

* * *

~Chibi Neji X Chibi Kiseki~

Neji finished his duties at the Branch House, and slowly made his way back to his room and futon, fully intending to collapse into bed and wake up in a few years' time. As his hand closed around the doorknob, he heard a familiar voice outside and his heart skipped a beat.

"Yes, Hiashi-sama, I completely understand. Of course, I would be delighted to be shown around the compound."

"That is acceptable. I would send for my nephew Neji, but he has just gone through a tiring day and needs rest."

Suddenly energized, his hand whipped back so fast that he almost got whiplash and raced to the source of the conversation in alarm. This was his chance! Bursting through the door, he composed himself to look more submissive, so that Hiashi-sama would not be dissatisfied by his behavior.

"I have enough energy to carry out this duty, Uncle." Neji murmured. Nodding slightly with approval, Hiashi-sama turned back to Kiseki and said, "Well then, it seems that you will be shown around by Neji after all. Please, enjoy your walk."

Hiashi exited the room, leaving Kiseki alone with Neji and his furiously beating heart. _Don't embarrass yourself,_ He reminded himself. Raising his head to look at Kiseki, he was struck dumb by her smile. Each tooth was pearly wide, and her hazel brown eyes shone bright with excitement. She reached out, and…took his hand?

Having his secret obsession being affectionate towards him was overwhelming and he felt a wave of red spread over his cheeks. Nervously smiling, he laced his fingers through hers and started talking. "This is the Branch House, where the branch members reside. Their facilities include…"

It was the best day of his life. Even though he could not stop blushing whenever Kiseki commented on his "lovely hair" or "good-looking genes." He stared at Kiseki in adoration throughout using his Byakugan eyes, feeling her soft hands grasp his tighter whenever they went down the stairs, her hair brush his shoulders occasionally, her footsteps syncing with his. At times like this, he felt like all was right in the world.

Kiseki thought he made a potentially excellent armrest.

* * *

I ran through the woods once again, the moonlight raining down on my face. It was invigorating, to say the least, to feel the wind rushing through my hair and the slight bounce of the tree branches under my feet. It seemed as if I was flying through the air, free to go at whatever speed I wished.

Stopping at the now familiar clearing, I observed the figure with a cane emerge from another exit, hobbling to the other end of the woods. The wind carried across whispers, some of which were meant for the ROOT Anbu, some which were not.

"Pawn…Uchiha unrest… coup… for Konoha… mission… Itachi… exterminate…" I wrote the words into my mind, trying to make sense of these words while watching Danzo check his surroundings for intruders, before returning back into the base.

Suddenly, he wind fell silent. The world was still. A few words ran through my head. _Don't act on it. Don't act on it. Don't act on it._ Don't act on what? I was confused and shook my head. Where was I? I ran back into the woods, wanting to get some sleep in my nice, comfortable bed.

Danzo's clone emerged once more. "Did we deter the intruder?" the clone asked. Stepping out of the shadows, Danzo smirked. "No one will interfere with our plans. She was merely an insignificant curious Genin that possessed only the basic abilities. There's no way that she can break out of my genjutsu." His sharingan spinned in his usually covered eye.

After all, only another Sharingan could break her out of it, and the Uchiha clan would be eliminated soon enough.

* * *

Omake

Despite his loyalty to me, Shikamaru was best friends with Choji, much to my despair. Who would I pair with for group work now?

"Get into pairs." Umino-sensei ordered.

My eyes ran over the class, purposely ignoring the waving arms of Cretin 1 who had jumped in front of my desk and kept repeating, "Can we pair up?" _Hmm, pink haired girl…with Ino._

"I heard that! I'm not sure how I did but I thought I asked you to stop calling me that!"

 _Hmm…Kiba? No, he already paired up with someone else. Ino? Right, I forgot she was with pink girl. Alright, bug boy it is then._

"Shino!" I flashed a smile at the boy with the dark glasses. He turned around, surprised that someone wanted to pair up with him. Upon seeing that it was me, a pink tint covered the skin that had not been hidden by his collar. Making my way towards him, I reached out for his arm, dragging him to Umino-sensei to receive our assignment.

Cretin 1 stared after us, crestfallen. His arms hung limply by his sides, showcasing his extreme disappointment. However, his brooding expression only served to ignite the passions of the fangirls.

"Sasuke-kun, I don't mind pairing up with you!"

"Sasuke-kun, I love you!"

"Sasuke-kunnnn!" They chorused for the millionth time this year.

Cretin 1 ended up pairing up with a fangirl, and his terrified face was recorded into my memory for eternity. Perhaps I could use this as incentive for Itachi to train me, I mused to myself from the seat next to Shino.

* * *

 **Hey guys! That's right, the Uchiha Massacre will still happen next year, even with Kiseki's intervention! This goes to show that despite her changing of canon, some things are _fated_ to happen. **

**If you could spare some time for little old me, please review what you think about this story so far! All your comments and imaginative minds make me really happy, and inspires me to continue writing! As I said in the previous chapter, I am really determined to finish this story, no matter how short the chapter will be. Thank you everyone for your support in reading this fanfic, and I'll see you tomorrow~**

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter: Which character in Naruto are you suited to cosplay the most?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Definitely ShikaSaku! After all, that's what I based most of my stories off on, lol \\\\(o.o)**

* * *

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 2(+1)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Guest – Reading your review makes me feel so appreciated, thank you! Seeing as there are people who are interested in the pairings, I'm deciding to focus a bit more on the relationships that Kiseki currently has with the people around her this chapter.**

 **Lizzy B- I love them too! Thank you for your kind words, I hope that you will continue smiling as the chapters are uploaded!**

 **Thank you everyone for your reviews, favourites, follows, and every silent reader out there! (Yes, you there trying to look busy on your phone) As my fake final exams are coming up soon, I'll still be posting, but slightly shorter chapters from the period of 28/7 to 7/8. Perhaps about 1.5k instead of the usual 2K?**

 **Enough with my life, let's move on to Kiseki's! Upon rereading the reviews, I found a comment asking why everyone seemed to be falling in love with Kiseki, so I think this chapter would be a great one to expand on each of their character.**

 **Note: I do not own any part of Naruto, not even his jumpsuit.**

 **WARNING: May contains feels that cannot be contained. You have been warned.**

* * *

Shino was a slightly peculiar guy. He wasn't antisocial, not at all, but neither was he shy. He was simply quiet, and refrained from speaking unless he had an overwhelming urge to do so. As the heir of the Aburame clan, he usually experienced a high amount of respect within the compound, the buzz of kikai quieting down whenever he entered a room and the slight bow of the head that no one but an Aburame would have noticed.

Outside of the compound, however, he was shamed for his features just like every other Aburame. Black, opaque, rounded glasses coupled with a pale jacket that covered up every part of his body except his face, didn't exactly scream "friendly and approachable". Despite his lack of friends, Shino didn't mind his solitude, often feeling like he didn't need anyone to help him feel better. He was his own person, and would live his life how he pleased.

This changed when he met Kiseki Sagi. He definitely had his suspicions at first, what with her absolutely average looks, with normal black hair, brown eyes and a nice crooked smile. She was somehow mysteriously attracting the hearts of everyone around her, despite not doing anything to achieve it. Her undiluted charisma, one that filled the air whenever she walked into the classroom, was undoubtedly what made her Kiseki Sagi.

Therefore, Shino avoided her. Such a powerful person was dangerous, and besides, he was sure that such a normal girl would behave like every other non Aburame female and scream at the sight of his 'bugs', never to talk to him again. Although he felt a tinge of jealously in his heart every time Kiseki partnered up with someone and seemed to be having the time of her life chatting away, he told himself to get used to it, just like every other unfair thing that happened to him in his life. However…

"Hi! Could you show me your bugs? They look really cool!" Shino's suspicion of Kiseki grew tenfold. There was no way that such a preppy girl could actually like his kikai, right? Frantically tuning in to the humming of his kikai, he felt for the girl's intent. The results shocked him. The girl didn't want to use him, she didn't want to make fun of him. She just wanted to know more about Shino.

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at her, slightly stunned. If his collar were any lower, she would have seen his mouth agape, surprised that she was so different from everyone else he met. Could this be? Could he really be friends with her?

"Shino!" There she was again, with her beautiful smile flashing at him. He watched her brown eyes crinkle at the sides as she waved at him, completely ignoring Uchiha-san efforts for her attention. He never knew that such plain brown eyes could look so amazing in his entire life. Fighting hard to stop a blush but failing abmysally, Shino agreed to partner up with Kiseki for the project. It was a simple assignment from Umino-sensei, one to summarise the advantages and disadvantages of the basic weapons taught in the Academy.

However, he was extremely surprised by how well Kiseki knew her content, almost as if she had done it before. Her knowledge of the weapons they used were simply astounding, and he couldn't help but ask how she knew all this material, (some of which were not even in the textbook), as a mere civilian?

She scratched the back of her head and sheepishly grinned back at him, replying, "My Kaa-san told me to do my best this year." Shino smiled faintly back at her, touched by her love for her mother and determination to make her proud.

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Second Annual Student Report of Class 2A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (Still a Fanboy)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O

Age: 6

Height: 114cm

Weight: 19.8kg

Traits:

Daredevil – Has made much improvement in conduct, with her escapes from the classrooms almost reducing to none. However, Kiseki seems to have taken up a new hobby: Doodling. While this could be a way to focus and be more creative in her work, she is highly discouraged to doodle on the blackboard while she is supposed to be solving the math problem that she volunteered to solve.

Kleptomaniac- While Kiseki's excuses for "accidentally reaching into his bag and catching a fallen object" is better, her acts of uncontrollable stealing is still not encouraged by the Academy, especially when said object is the instructor's wallet. When her parents were informed of this strange habit of their daughter, they smiled and praised their daughter for "becoming such a good ninja before she even received the headband", then inviting the instructor to dinner. The instructor would like to add on that a forehead protector is not a headband, and that Kurutta's stir fry is truly to die for.

Perfectionist- Her obsessive tendencies for perfection has landed her into both successes and troubles. Her work is always returned with an A, but she frequently gets into increasingly violent debates with "Cretins who don't know their shit", often resulting in complaints from parents about her tendencies to pinch whoever she disagreed with in a particularly painful way on the arm, resulting in bruises from the other student. Although the instructor privately agrees with this student, Kiseki must learn to refrain from voicing her cruder thoughts out loud, just like every other person growing up.

* * *

Shikamaru wasn't stupid.

After spending so much time with Kiseki, he easily figured out her past, her motivations and her end goal. He also knew that he probably played an important part in said goal, which was why she was lashing out her possessiveness over him so early in childhood. However, despite knowing the terror that she planned to cause, he couldn't really be bothered with stopping her or changing her mind with his words.

After all, Kiseki gave really good pets, he thought as he nuzzled under another session of her administrations. If what she thought would be the best life for them, Shikamaru was fine with going along with her plan.

At first, he openly objected to being treated as a tool, but after these 2 years of spending time together, Shikamaru got used to Kiseki's personality. She wasn't possessive really, more like she didn't want anyone to snatch him up before she did. It wasn't as if he was that high in demand, anyways, so he didn't mind.

Tou-san and Kaa-san were absolutely tickled when he first brought Kiseki home, cooing and snickering (respectively) on how "Maru-chan brought his first girl home to meet the parents". He recalled Kaa-san's slap when Tou-san commented how he "never brought Yoshino home until I was four times your age." Yeah yeah, he got the joke, but he didn't find it as funny as others would think.

Kiseki looked positively mirthed at their laughter, but their close bond told Shikamaru that she didn't really get the joke and would ask him for an explanation later in private. Sighing, Shikamaru once again resigned himself to the weirdness that was Kiseki Sagi.

However, despite all of her quirks and her obvious desire of world domination, he was so in tune with her thoughts that he could see how she felt that her goal was best way to truly be able to make an impact on the world.

How could a girl be so innocent yet so devious at the same time? It went against every shinobi rule, and Kiseki wasn't afraid of breaking it. Sure, her actions often landed her into trouble, but he knew that she was never bothered by her failures, only seeing it as a stepping stone to her future success.

It was so inspiring, and motivating, it made him feel like…taking another nap because of how good that one-handed neck rubs felt. (It was her specialty.) Closing his eyes, he felt himself falling into a deep sleep once more.

* * *

It was the new year once more, and I can't help but think that I forgot something, as I often felt my body subconsciously doing something, but with no goal coming to my mind. Perhaps it was Karma biting me in the ass, for all the times I made those civilians forget their activities for the day for my investments in the civilian market.

Which was why at exactly the time Kaa-san and Tou-san fell asleep, I found my body subconsciously getting ready to go out and train. Why, though? I don't recall having any sessions with Itachi-sensei, especially with how tired and stressed he had been looking the past few weeks. He briefly explained about "clan meetings" putting his family under a lot of pressure to do well in the village.

I scowled, obviously Cretin 1 was the issue and Itachi was covering for him, causing my favourite instructor such stress. (Sasuke sneezed from his bed, and looked up to his shrine of objects 'gifted' by Kiseki-chan before praying for his health) Stretching my limbs, I decided to set out to god knows where and let my body take me wherever I needed to go. After all, always follow your gut instincts, they're meant to help you survive.

As I strolled in the middle of the night on the eerie outskirts of the village, I found my legs making its way to the Uchiha compound, for some unknown reason. Having not had the chance to visit the compound, unlike the Hyuuga estate, I decided to creep around the borders to look for interesting places. Reaching what seemed to be a river, I slowed down, admiring the rushing water, gazing, in awe of the beautiful waves and the ripples of the falling leaves.

I always did like pretty things, after all.

Random objects floated by, carried by the current in the stream. A stick, a lost shuriken, a dead body… Wait, a dead body? I felt myself frozen to the spot, a horrible, dreading sensation spreading across my body. Despite all my claims of world domination, I had been more prepared to dive into more of ninja politics than anything else. But I've never actually looked death in the face before.

A rush of panic overcame me as I frantically searched my mind on _what to do, what to do, oh god there's a dead body in the river._ _Wait. Kiseki, you got this. It may be traumatizing, but someone there needs your help. We've run through this a dozen times in class before, just numb yourself, and do what you're supposed to do. It may be the hardest thing you had to do in both your lifetimes, but this is the life we chose, and we are NOT regretting it._

Regaining my senses, I chased after the body and jumped into the water with a quiet splash, before swimming against the current to retrieve the dead shinobi. He was obviously a Uchiha, one that recently had his eyes gouged out if the blood under his eyes were any sign. With one final stroke, I managed to grip his bloodstained shirt with one hand.

Dragging him to shore could have been a hard task, if I had been a normal 7 year old civilian. Luckily, I had been under Itachi's excellent tutelage and I expertly pulled him up to the banks of the river, forcing myself not to think that I was carrying a most likely dead body. Taking a deep breath, I performed standard procedure and checked his pulse.

He was still alive! Barely, but there was definitely a chance of survival! A spike of hope filled my heart, filling me with adrenaline. Heaving his body onto my back, I raced to the Nara compound and snuck my way into Shikamaru's room, before running over to his futon to wake him up.

"Shikamaru!" I whispered, urgently. "I need your help! I found a shinobi barely breathing on the road, he needs medical help!"

His eyes shot open, and caught sight of my figure, which was drenched with water and blood from the ninja's injuries. I could almost see the gears turning in his mind as Shikamaru thought of his next course of action. He dashed to his parent's room, and hurriedly called for them to help, "because Kiseki-chan found an injured shinobi that needed emergency healing".

It was my first time seeing Shikaku and Yoshino Nara running in robes, but this probably wasn't the time to comment on it, what with a bloody shinobi next to me. "Shisui!" Yoshino-san gasped and her eyes widened in horror, before hurrying over with a box of bandages and hurriedly wrapping his wounds, Shikaku-san immediately joining her as his hands glowed green with an unknown jutsu. "Leave us and get cleaned up, both of you." He commanded us, briefly facing us as he shooed us away.

I staggered out of the room, exhausted. Being the good minion that Shikamaru was, he helped to guide me to the bathroom, leaving to get a set of clean clothes from the guest room and a bowl of hot water with a towel at the side.

A silence overcame us, and all I could hear was the shoutings of Yoshino and Shikaku. "He's losing too much blood! Hurry, this wound went through his stomach! Stay with us, Uchiha Shisui!"

Turning my gaze to the boy infront of me, I realized how this was the first time I've seen Shikamaru fuss over me, as I watched him worriedly looking at me while biting his lip wiping the damp towel over the grimy areas that were hard to reach. Already changed into the new clothes, I tried my hardest to get the blood off my hands that never seemed to come off entirely. Shisui's blood, I reminded myself. Not mine, not Shikamaru's, not my parents.

This was when the adrenaline finally wore off, and I fully absorbed the reality of what I had just seen and done. To my utmost horror, tears started leaking out of my eyes and I felt myself becoming _vulnerable_ for the first time since I woke in this wold.

I sniffed uncontrollably and wrapped the warm towel around my shoulders a little more tightly, trying to remove the image of the almost-dead body run through my mind. My head dipped into my arms wrapped around my curled up body, as Shisui's body was replaced with Tou-san's, then Kaa-san's, then Shikamaru's. All the people I cared about in this world.

Then, I felt a hand slowly and gently running through my hair, and I looked up to see Shikamaru's chocolate brown eyes, trying his best to comfort me the best way he knew how, which was to do what I've always done for him. He looked awkward and nervous, as if he was torn between continuing and removing himself completely, but this sight seemed strangely endearing.

Pasting a grateful smile onto my lips, I hugged him tightly, sobbing as I thanked him. "Thank you for helping me, Shikamaru." I whispered as I sank into the comfort of his tiny body's warmth. I fell asleep in that exact same position, only waking up briefly when Shikaku-sama picked me up bridal style and let me sleep in the futon of the guest bedroom, repeatedly reassuring me that Shisui was going to be okay, and all he needed were a few days to recover.

I loved the Naras, so, so much.

* * *

 **Surprisingly, this is the longest chapter yet! And yes, Shisui is alive, I wonder what this means?:') This chapter was honestly quite emotional to write, and I really tried to put myself in each of their shoes, constantly asking myself, _What would they think in canon?_ Hopefully, you guys enjoy this chapter, because I am really proud of this one! On a side note, we're hitting 20k next chapter! I'm honestly, so excited about this.**

 **If you liked it or had some thoughts about this fanfiction, please leave a review:3 I always get so overjoyed when I see new reviews, no matter how short they are! So if you have a few seconds to spare, pretty please tell me what you think of this chapter or what you want to see in the next!**

 **As always, see you tomorrow!**

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter: Which clan would you want to be reborn in, if you were Kiseki?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Okay, here's a secret about me. I actually am planning to cosplay after my final exams, and I can't tell which one I should do! I can't do quiet Hinata, because I'm really boisterous sometimes, and I can't do Ino either, because she's so confidently feminine and I may feel really insecure when I'm doing her? So my answer would probably be Tenten, because she is a BAMF and my idol as a female.**

* * *

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 4(1)**

 **Harem: 2**

 **Neji: 2**

 **Sasuke:1**


	9. Chapter 9

**Heart – Thank you for all your reviews! You're the first one to actually participate in my questions of the chapter haha~**

 **Thank you to every one of you who have been following this story, I really appreciate your dedication!**

 **I'm going to do a quick chapter before the start of my exams tomorrow (How ironic that it's Literature), so let's get cracking~**

 **I do not own Naruto at all.**

It was only after the whole incident that I pondered why exactly I had not chosen to go to Fugaku-sama or Itachi-sensei who were inside the Uchiha Compound instead, before I realised the reason.

1\. Itachi-sensei had mentioned the tension between his clan and the village, so mysteriously popping out of no where in the dead of the night with a severely injured shinobi would probably not be good as a first impression.

2\. I felt safe with the Naras. I was tremendously shocked, but it made sense that after visiting the Nara Compound for so long, I formed a bond with Shikaku-san, Yoshino-san and Shikamaru-san. So close, that I trusted them enough with my vulnerability.

I hadn't trusted anyone for so long, and it was always betrayed in my past life each time I gave it out. Could I finally have found someone I could trust completely? For once, I had no control over my heart, and it didn't feel as horrible as I thought it would be.

After the little episode last week, I found myself undergoing many therapy sessions and interrogations about how I found Shisui. Said shinobi was currently stuck in the hospital in a coma due to his grievous injuries and his body having to adjust to the loss of both his eyes. Thankfully, his body was recovering at an extremely high rate compared to normal shinobi and was most likely going to wake up in a few weeks. Stupid Uchiha genes haxing the game.

There was a massive uproar in the village after the news of Shisui spread around the village. The past Uchiha unrest was lessened, due to many feeling that the Uchiha were unjustly targeted, for who would wish such a torture upon a clan that prized its doujutsu? Sympathy cards were sent to the Uchiha clan, many wishing the injured shinobi to get well soon and encouraging the Konoha Police Force to find the perpetrator of the crime as soon as possible.

Thankfully, I was not under suspicion because Shikaku-san had kindly shielded my name from the public, declaring that it was a shinobi on patrol that had found him, and brought him to the hospital immediately. I hadn't expected such an act of kindness, as in my past life, no one did anything out of the kindness of their hearts unless they wanted something in return.

The only thing he wanted in return was a shogi game, and I immediately complied, though losing within 12 turns was a great blow to my ego for someone who lived a past life.

As for my mental state, well it could have been better. Every night, I was woken up by Kaa-san and her worried whispering because I had started screaming for my precious people again. I supposed it was a natural reaction for one who had just went through a traumatic experience, but honestly, after I saw that Shisui was alive and well again, my mind calmed down once more and I knew that I only had to wait some time before I could return to normal.

However, I didn't have that much time.

One day, Neji asked me if I would go to the Hyuuga Fair with him. I sensed his desire to form a deeper connection with me, obviously asking me so that he could better gauge my character. I agreed, because knowing Shikamaru, he would be too lazy to go anyways. His pale eyes widened at my response and he seemed to scrunch up his face in determination before walking off.

Boys were weird.

Anyways, we were walking together through the fair, Neji dressing in a smart looking blue yukata, which I complimented resulting in a blush and a stammer about my own yukata. I was surprised at how many Academy students had skipped class to go to this fair as it was held on a weekday, although they all seemed to be accompanied by their parents. Then, an announcement was made, declaring the end of the festival and wishing everyone a great night ahead.

As I returned, Kaa-san and Tou-san gushed over me, cooing at how 'cute' and 'adorable' I looked. However, for some reason I felt the same wave of dread surround my heart as the time where I found Shisui in the Naka River. After the advice of the many therapy sessions and a strange compellation from my brain, I decided not to act on it.

 _Don't act on it. Don't act on it. Don't act on it._ I entered a restless sleep, filled with dreams of screaming and blood.

Unknown to me, Konoha entered a complete lockdown, due to an S-rank threat massacring the entire Uchiha clan, only leaving behind Sasuke and Shisui Uchiha. Both were in a coma in the hospital the next morning, and I was once again called away from the Academy for interrogations due to my affiliation as a student to Itachi who was surprisingly the perpetrator of the crime, and this time the interrogator was stricter on me, glaring at me to see if I had left any information out of my report.(I didn't, but I hated the T&I after that)

I didn't have any contact with the Uchiha ever since the last time I saw Shisui in hospital, I told them. Kaa-san helped to testify on how she woke me up at night because of my crying, so I could not have snuck out then. I was let go from the T&I once more, this time with a heavier weight on my shoulders.

The next morning, Shisui woke up, asking for Itachi Uchiha, the murderer of the Uchiha clan.

 **And we have now officially reached 20k! Thank you everyone who have read this far, let us carry on with this journey together! If you have a bit of time, please pretty please leave a short review on what you think about this story so far and how you want it to progress? I'm always open to new ideas!**

 **Question of the Chapter:** **Which Uchiha is your favourite?**

 **Answer of the Previous** **Chapter:**

 **Seeing as this is a self insert, obviously I would choose to be reborn in a civilian clan. However, if anyone is interested to listen to my reasoning behind giving Kiseki a civilian clan to be reborn in, here you go. So my goal for Kiseki's reincarnation was for her to experience the most perfect childhood she could, in contrast to her original loveless childhood on the streets. Hence, I didn't want to subject her to clan tensions, neither did I want her to have an annoying sibling to interfere with her plans. Hence, completely average civilian family. Although she is meant to have her own faults and strengths, being an actual civilian, so I gave her the strengths of speed and stealth, which made the most sense to me considering that she was a thief in her past life. However, Kiseki will never excel in other important areas such as ninjutsu or brute strength, and use chakra to compensate leading to chakra drain. I hope this helps people to visualise Kiseki a little better!**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 5(1)**

 **Harem: 2**

 **Neji: 2**

 **Sasuke:1**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi guys it's 11.34 pm and I just finished crashcoursing history, so I'll try my best to type out something acceptable in my daze! (crack, probably)**

 **Heart - Thank you for following my story! I'm so happy that you think that way~ Also, imagine my surprise when I found out that Can I Help You, Nara-Sama, had gained 7 new reviews from you as well! Thanks so much for your support, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Lizzy B - Thank you for reviewing another time! Your continued support is really appreciated 3 Your vote has been added to the poll!** **I do not own Naruro, now let's get on with the story!**

 _At a slightly buzzed council session with the Elders and the Hokage:_

"Who are you even? I deserve to be the Hokage dammit, stop stealing my limelight!" Danzo slurs. _He falls over before getting up again with a lot of difficulty. His ROOT is expressionless, having been desensitized to old people who needed help._

"Fuck you, best friend. You don't even help me to govern it when I'm in power, there's no way I'll let YOU get the hat." The Sandaime drunkenly pointed his index finger right at the traitor. _He misses and digs Danzo's nose instead._

"Face it, the Elders are on my side, which means Konoha is mine...you and your stupid traitorous Sannin team can go suck my-" _Danzo falls over, snoring onto the table with his arms hanging limply by his sides._

"Yeah, what that guy said." Homura sleepily looked up from his perch on the tabletop, lazily lifting one leg into the air and wiggling _it. Both 'guys' turn to stare at him._

"Shut Up Homura, no one likes you!" screeched Hiruzen, his finger changing direction to Homura instead. _Koharu tries to slip away but it stopped by Danzo's drunken lunge._

"Yeah, Koharu! You guys are spineless Elders, GET OUT! I'm the ONLY Elder this country needs!" Danzo joined in.

 _For the first time in twenty years, the Hokage and the Shadow Hokage worked together._

 _TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT_

 ** _Because this is so short, I decided to include one of my past crack oneshots that never really made it big. Tell me what you think? It's titled 10 Ways to Test His Sanity_**

1\. He gazed at the board, eyes narrowing in concentration. Mentally he devised a hundred paths of his next move and picked up his next piece. The queen. He dragged it forward, removed his hands, and waited. His opponent was confused, and Shikamaru smirked at his predicament. There was a 96% chance that his opponent would be defeated by him at shogi, and he knew it. Raising his head to make eye contact, he nodded to signify the end of his turn.

"Dude, we're in the middle of battle, why did you stop our spar for this and where did you pull that shogi board out of?"

"...Troublesome."

2\. "Shikamaru, yerr a wizard!"

Shikamaru lazily opened one eye and gazed at the monstrosity of a man, before closing it again and rolling on his bed to face away from the half-giant.

"Does being a wizard entail putting in effort? Because if it does, I rather not, really."

Hagrid was not the best judge of character, but he sensed that this new muggleborn required more convincing in the wow factors of magic.

" Yerr get cool spells that help you do the effort, like Molly does when she cleans the entire house without lifting a finger! And there's a neat summonin' spell you could do to get things too far from you."

"Wait, so if I learn magic, I don't have to do chores anymore? My mum would stop nagging at me for once...Is there shogi?"

"Err, no such thing as shogi, but we have wizard chess which is a lot better because the pieces are alive and you command them to move and stuff."

Shikamaru's eyebrow raised to the clouds in the sky, where it happily resided for the next season.

"I don't even have to move to play chess?"

"Yep."

"Where do I sign up?"

3\. "Come on, let's get ear piercings, it'll be so cool!"

"I think you forget, Sakura, that I already have ear piercings."

"Yeah but I want you to get a lip piercing while I get my ear pierced!"

"You're such a drag, Sakura."

"Fine."

~two hours later~

"Sakura?"

"You're looking at me weirdly. Remember, this was your idea, not mine you troublesome woman."

"..so...sexy..."

"...what?"

Sakura couldn't stop ogling her friend. What had previously been a lazy smartass had transformed into a badass and ruggedly sexy lazy smartass and she couldn't wait until she had the chance to-

Oh my god. He smirked. She could not take it any longer. It was too much for her and she fell in a dead faint.

Boom.

"Sakura? Sakura? Ugh, what a troublesome woman. First she makes me get this stupid lip piercing with her, then she faints and now I have to carry her back. Although, I wonder what she fainted at..."

Shaking his head, Shikamaru thought that thinking about Sakura's actions were too taxing and troublesome for him and resolved to pretend it never happened.

"SHIKAMARU YOU BAKA WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH FORE-...hot..."

Boom.

Honestly, these girls needed to eat more and stop fainting at his feet. Shikamaru thanked the gods for being in the Nara Clan and being able to use the Shadow Possession Technique because there was no way that he was going to waste his effort and carry the two best friends.

"...so, ruggedly,handsome..."

4\. He lay on the grass fields, watching the clouds slowly move and his forgotten eyebrow dancing within the clouds, listening to the deers talk- wait what?

"That pansy ass pineapple head is back again boys, it is now time for us to carry out our plan."

"Yes, Leader-sama!"

"Now, remember your roles. Bambi, go and sniff his head and ask for food as usual. Nara, go into the corner, take a shit and don't bother the rest of us. Shika, make your way to the top of the tree and set up our trap. I will lure the boy there."

They would lure him-what?

Thinking quickly, he came to the conclusion that his clan deers were either going to kill him or attempt to adopt him. Unfortunately, neither option sounded particularly enticing at the moment.

He pretended to be still, and felt the steps of the incoming deer. This must be Bambi. Huh. He opened his eyes and smiled at the Troublesome No. 7 that he knew since young. She gave him a doe-eyed look and nuzzled into his hair, like she always did ever since he knew her as a fawn. He looked at her adorable face, and figured she couldn't be much of a threat. He then tried to pacify the deer by explaining his situation.

"Look, I don't have any food okay. But I heard you guys talking and I really don't want to fall into a trap. So, could you please tell your leader to leave me and my hair alone? That would be great."

She stopped nuzzling him, which meant Shikamaru was understood. Great, now he could communicate with deers. What's next, a town of deers?

Her doe eyed face suddenly emitted a feral grin. Well, it was worth a shot.

"SHIT! NO! STOP NIBBLING ON MY HAIR YOU TROUBLESOME DEER! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY ANIMALS!"

Getting up quickly, he turned and ran.

Some say they could still hear the stomping of the hoard to this day.

Shikamaru never fed the deer ever again.

5\. Shikamaru was the head advisor to Naruto, and he never hated his job more.

First of all, there were tons of paperwork.

Second of all, there was even more paperwork because frankly Naruto sucked at the administration parts of being Hokage and Naruto and him divided his work equally before taking half a portion each in addition to their own work.

Third of all, he got a promotion. It might not seem like a bad thing, but now the gold diggers of the Leaf Village had set their eyes on him, and the fact that he got a lip piercing with Sakura in the previous years didn't help much either. Seriously, all he wanted was to be left alone until he grew old and married an average woman with average looks who wouldn't bother him.

Fourthly, there was this stupid girl who kept stealing his catchphrase "Troublesome", so every time he used it now, she repeated after him. It wouldn't be such a bad thing if everyone didn't look at him reproachfully and reprimand him for being a bad influence on kids. He wasn't a babysitter, he was the Hokage's advisor for crying out loud.

Lastly, there was too much work to be done, and too little could be avoided. Hmm, perhaps he should look towards getting an assistant to relieve his workload... Thinking of the job applications, the flyers, the interviews, the fangirls, the time wasted and the sheer amount of effort needed , Shikamaru decided not to waste his time on these thoughts. After all, there was no saying that a ghostly old friend wouldn't apply for a job application for an assistant without needing his help, after all.

6\. "Stop smoking."

"...troublesome."

"No seriously, you're gonna get lung cancer. Smoking to honour Asuma-sensei's death isn't right."

"Okay."

"I swear, you stupid deer head, one day I am going to find a seal that leaves you physically incapable of picking up a cigarette."

"Hmm, that would be a drag."

"Really, Shikamaru why do you do this to yourself and everyone around you? You do realise that second-hand smoking has even worse effects than smoking, right?"

"...maybe."

"Ugh, there is no getting to you, I am leaving!"

"Okay."

Internally, Shikamaru was glad Ino didn't press any further. How was he supposed to explain that Chouji infected him with obesity and now he needed to constantly chew on something to stop himself from binge eating? He didn't know any jutsus that would help if he were to gain a large amount of weight. Obviously, smoking was the best choice. Thank you Asuma-sensei, for providing a cover for him.

From the heavens, Asuma smiled down at the pineapple boy that he once taught as genin. He wished Shikamaru would just throw a smoke up to him, cause Heaven was a no smoking zone and smokes were prohibited.

7\. It was Halloween.

The moon was raised high, and the nocturnal animals were out once more. The chance of assassination was so much higher, and girls were dressed in skimpy clothing to catch their new boy prey.

Obviously, Shikamaru stayed in the shadows. Of his cupboard. On his bed. Taking a well deserved nap.

"Shikamaru! Where is your costume!"

"You're such a drag. Get out, I wanted to get some rest."

"No! I will not-"

Shikamaru had to take her out now and fast. Thinking of a million possible scenarios in an instant, he put in his lip piercing in one movement and smirked at her.

Boom.

Worked every time. Hey, maybe he should get more piercings, if they made the girls leave him alone so well.

8\. Shikamaru was out of hair bands.

Well, shit.

It was his own fault for tying his hair up so tightly every time, he guessed. He decided to just go to the shops and get more rubber bands with his hair down. Opening his gate, he had a sinking feeling in his heart that something bad was about to happen. Shaking away the feeling, Shikamaru decided that he was just paranoid.

He sped to the store just in case he encountered any rabid girls. Just in case, you know. Standard safety precaution. Only taught in the Running Away from Fangirls Drill by Professor Sasuke Uchiha and Assistant Neji.

"Hey sexy."

Shikamaru spun around and came face to face with Ino. Said girl originally had a sultry look on her face after spotting a ravishing, black haired man with pierced ears and a fishnet shirt go into the store next to her flower shop. Said girl also had a very quick transition to shock and disbelief, before falling down in a dead faint.

Dammit, he thought he told Ino to eat so she didn't faint so often. Of course she didn't listen, as usual.

He bought his stupid rubber bands, and tied up his stupid hair and shadow possessed Ino before dumping her in her stupid store. Honestly, there should be a jutsu for quick revival for a person who was sleeping or fainted, Shikamaru thought.

Upon thinking of the possible impacts this jutsu may have on his midmorning, noon, afternoon and evening naps, he shook his head fervently and vowed to destroy the ninja that ever created anything like that.

9\. Hey.

It's me, Shikamaru.

I know, I'm breaking the fourth wall now.

I'm also breaking a lot of your hearts.

Because, I have news.

Duck-ass got married.

And so will I, to Temari.

I don't want you to be sad, even though it would be pretty damn hilarious.

But I felt that you need to know that in the Naruto universe, almost all of us are taken.

Seriously, even Gaara. Gaara of the Sand and whatnot

So, I'm just reminding you that even though all of us are single in this story, it's not true.

It's all just fictiona-mmsmmfm

mdmcmms?

mm.

zzzzzzzzz

10\. Shikamaru woke up from a nap, where he dreamt that he got drugged and kidnapped for attempting to say something he shouldn't. Huh, it was probably nothing.

It was a normal day, with sunny skies, and every one sported the same pineapple hairstyle as him.

That was sensible of them, he always knew that he would create a trend one day.

Unfortunately, at his thought, every one looked at him. All of them had the face and clothing of Shikamaru Nara. The village signboard said Land of Hidden Deer, the stores were selling buttons that said "Troublesome" when you pressed them, riots were happening against a new jutsu that could instantly wake up someone from their sleep, deers flooded the place.

"You are under arrest, sir." A police attired deer looked at him sternly, also with pineapple styled hair.

They were bustling about, with his identity.

Huh.

Maybe it was his time to faint.

Boom.

"Our plan has finally worked. Bring the pansy-ass pineapple head to the tree. Nara, start shitting and repel all visitors."

"Yes, Leader-sama!"

 **Sorry for the short (whatever this is) once more! I fell asleep (again) before I could even hit publish. Ahhhhh exams!**

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter: Who, if made Hokage, would be unexpectedly good at it?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter:**

 **Probably Mikoto, because of how much she loved both her children.**

* * *

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 6(1)**

 **Harem: 2**

 **Neji: 3**

 **Sasuke:1**


	11. Chapter 11

**Fox3090- That's great to hear! I'm so happy that this story is gaining more publicity ahhh :D I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

 **Ella- Thank you for the encouragement! Also woah long review, I still support my own theory that Danzo had used Shisui's eye to force Itachi to kill his entire clan, no matter what he wishes, hence why such an esteemed genius would be manipulated into following these orders. Also, we can't forget that he's merely, what, 13? At 13, I would listen to any adult, especially one who contributed so much to Konoha, and not believe that he's surrounded by deceit. Thank you for your review!**

 **Thank you to all reviewers, followers, favouritors, adders to community-ers, and silent readers! (Yes, you there reading this in the seat.)**

 **I do not own Naruto, not even Shisui's curly hair.(sadly)**

* * *

With the Yamanakas's help of their mind-transfer jutsu, it was then revealed to the shinobi of Konohagakure what had happened to Shisui and Itachi Uchiha. Apparently, Shisui had fought to the death with Itachi to give him a special sort of Sharingan upgrade after Danzo had took his eye for its special powers, which led to him being in such a bad state when I found him. Itachi, having been framed to take the blame for Shisui's death, had also been ordered by Danzo to exterminate his clan and leave the village as a missing-nin.

I felt horrible for him, having to choose between his love for his clan and the village. The Uchihas were a prideful clan. Being one of the main founding clans of the village had gained them prestige like no other, famed for this dojutsu. However, their status as the Konoha Police Force had gained them disrespect among the civilians, and their famous bubbly personalities had not contributed to soften their image in any way.

Apparently, Shisui was looking for the one who rescued him from the river. Shikaku-san had agreed to meet him and explain to him what had happened, leaving me out of the picture. I loved the Naras for keeping me out of the spotlight and attention from the power hungry. It was hilarious how time and time again, the Naras were underestimated for their typically bored looking expression and their lazy habits, yet they always managed to surprise the people again and again at their cunningness and IQ.

For example, Shikamaru Nara. I held no hopes that he had not already figured out my entire existence, but since he was still my loyal pet/minion/ex-partner in pairing. Many people still thought that he was the one being dragged around by me, but after every display of "possessiveness", I would ask him quietly what they meant and what the hell was I doing. They did not see Shikamaru pull at the leash, they saw me.

Just helping the enemies underestimate him, I'm doing Shikamaru a favour, I swear!

However, my happiness was not to be, for a curly haired, bright-eyed if he had eyes, smiling Uchiha dropped himself in front of me. How…did he do that? Wasn't he blind? Didn't his clan mostly rely on their eyes?

"Hello chibi-san, I heard you dragged the half-dead cat all the way to the Naras after rescuing it from the water." Shit. "Oh…pardon me Uchiha-san, I think you have the wrong person. I am a girl, you see? And I don't recall doing such a thing. There's another girl on the other side of the village who might meet your requirements, though."

Shisui gave me the most wicked grin I had ever seen in my entire life. It slowly grew wider as he reached his arm slowly out towards me, and I slowly ducked to the side in response. The arm whipped to the right to follow my movements and grabbed me on the shoulder. "Now, I wouldn't want to insult Anbu Cat-san's brilliant tracking skills. "He teased.

"Wait, those are Anbu?" I had never seen the famed ANBU before, only hearing stories about it from my excited classmates and teachers. A shadowed figure stepped out of the darkness despite the brightness of the sun, and nodded slightly towards me through their porcelain mask, and stepped back in.

Twisting my body so that his arm was now slung around my shoulder, Shisui strolled along the streets of Konoha with me. He shared with me how Danzo had been proven to have continued ROOT despite its early suspension, and was now facing charges of treason and locked in a cell down the Hokage's tower. After a few days, people had noticed the presence of leftover ROOT members gathering and news spread about Danzo's death. Following his demise, the Hokage had extracted the Uchiha eyeballs that had been implanted into Danzo ( I winced in disgust when I heard of it) and removed the skin cells from the First Hokage (Seriously, this guy.), and two of the eyeballs had been returned to Shisui. One which was his own, and another one from another Uchiha with the Mangekyo Sharingan.

Itachi was now expected to return to the village and have his innocence proven any day now, and Sasuke was living with Shisui for the time being, having been informed of his beloved brother's framing and orders. It was good, most of them receiving a happy ending, but the only thing was that… Somehow, Cretin 1 had gotten hold of the information that I was the one to save Shisui, which led to his brother being declared innocent.

His answer? To rever me even more. My status has now been upgraded to godlike, and I am extremely disturbed by my knowledge of his shrine to "Kiseki-sama".

The following day at the Academy after Shisui had his little bonding session with me, I noticed the glazed look in Cretin 1's eyes even more than normal, and he started offering to help to do everything for me, like a minion. Unfortunately, the position for a minion of mine had already been taken by Shikamaru, which I informed Cretin 1 with unbridled delight. Hey, you can't blame me for being gleeful at his disappointed puppy eyes when the same eyes follow you _everywhere._ The training grounds, my walk to the Academy, my lunch break, those same pair of eyes full of adoration was set on me. I had half a mind to report him for harassment, before I remembered Iruka's warning to me about treating his delicate case with care. He did, after all, just become an orphan with a hundred dead relatives overnight.

I had to constantly remind myself _not_ to punch his face whenever he went up to me like an eager puppy every morning and greeted me. Well, at least one person was calling me Kiseki-sama.

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Third Annual Student Report of Class 3A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (minion), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (How on earth did he get even worse than last year)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 7

Height: 123cm

Weight: 20.6kg

Strengths: Chakra Manipulation, Speed, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu

Traits:

Daredevil – With the recent extermination of the Uchiha clan, Kiseki has seemed to figure out that the forces of the Konoha Police Force has now depleted significantly. However, instead of giving sympathy to such a plight, she seems to have taken advantage of this situation to commit more dangerous stunts, and taking any threats from the instructors to take her to the police station as a joke, claiming that she has a "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Kleptomaniac- Random things going missing in the Academy has now ascended to entire blackboards mysteriously disappearing, resulting in the same class of 3A to be forced to have their lesson in the open field to have a way of teaching. Although the instructor agrees that this method of teaching is extremely effective and has noticed an increase in student participation, he would still like to have his blackboard back so as to have an excuse to throw chalk at misbehaving students.

Perfectionist- She has perfect grades in all her subjects except for Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, both of which might pose to become potential problems in the future. In her frustration at not being able to perfect these with the confusing cry of "Not being a true Mary Sue!", she has now demanded for more remedial sessions with the instructor every afternoon to help her despite his reassurance that all ninjas are good in some places more than the other. This instructor would desperately like his social life back, thank you very much.

* * *

 **Hey guys! I'm planning to do a double upload today, to make up for my laziness yesterday. Ugh, exams. I would promise to write after my exams, but I know myself and if I don't continue doing this every day, eventually I'll never update again. But I am MOTIVATED to FINISH this story, and I WILL PERSEVERE! Honestly, after rereading my previous chapters, I can already tell that I was seriously sleepy because what even was that last chapter O.o But hey! Thank you for reading this far, here's a juicy piece of story progression for y'all.**

 **If you have a bit of time to spare, please leave a review about what you think about the story so far! It really warms my heart**

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter:**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter:**

* * *

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 6(+1)**

 **Harem: 2**

 **Neji: 3**

 **Sasuke:1**


	12. Chapter 12

**Guest-Thank you for your kind review! I don't know if you reviewed before sunce you didn't put your name, but I was encouraged to do this chapter because of you! To be honest I was thinking if I should just wait till tomorrow but I refreshed and there you were! So of course, I can't let y'all down:)**

 **Hello readers of this weird fic! I'm here to produce that second chapter of the day I promised! It's going to be a little short (because I haven't even studied or memorised any quotes for my second literature book I am _so screwe_ _d)_ BUT ANYWAYS! On with it!**

* * *

Heaving out a sigh of frustration, Iruka dragged a hand down his face in dismay. Kiseki Sagi, the bane of his existence. At least Naruto was apologetic of his misdeeds and had a _purpose_ behind it. It was impossible to talk sense into Kiseki, seeing how _she was a goddamn model student and staying for voluntary detention that he did not sign up for._

Furthermore, her parents were frankly (pardon his language) a pain in the ass. No matter how many times he tried to tell them that, "Hey, your daughter is behaving out of line and breaking several laws of Konoha," they simply laughed at him and invited him to eat dinner with them.

Iruka didn't like to generalise but honestly, _civilians._ They thought that Kiseki was _playing ninja_ , and were going to try to stop her from becoming a genin. Seeing how they wilted under every single one of her puppy eyed requests, Iruka was unimpressed and had zero faith in them that they would succeed.

Some people thought that he was overreacting. "Oh Iruka," They coaxed. "Kiseki is such a perfect and precious little girl, just look at her grades! You should be proud of them!"

Iruka begged to disagree. He would be proud, if she _didn't goddamn score a single point less than the Uchiha for every single test._ It was clear that she didn't want the attention, but she seemed to be attracting it like a magnet anyways.

He felt the need to bring up several examples.

 _Case One: The Nara boy_

After Kiseki had practically adopted Shikamaru as a pet, parents had been outraged that a 5 year old girl had been allowed to get into a "relationship" with the 5 year old boy. Iruka didn't know whether to explain that she was using him as a pet cat, or to let the rumours continue.

Either way, it was a headache to resolve and Iruka desperately wanted to bang his head against the wall. Shaved and without a forehead protector (NOT a "cute little headband").

"Kiseki-chan, do you mind if Shikamaru doesn't stay so close to you? The parents see your hands and they have feedbacked to me that they think that you're in a relationship." _Boys have cooties too_ , Iruka was tempted to add just in case she was unwilling to.

"Yes, sensei." Iruka breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good."

The next day, she hung a signboard around her neck that said "I am not in a relationship with the boy next to me." Sasuke-chan, after seeing such a large circle devoid of people around Kiseki, decided to adopt that idea as well.

After the fifth fangirl had come crying to him for consolation, Iruka told Kiseki to just carry on, who cared about the parents anymore, because have you _seen_ crying kids?

 _Case Two: The Uchiha Fanboy_

"Sasuke, can you tell us what does this symbol represent?" Iruka pointed to an image of the Uchiha fan in front of the entire class.

 _Silence._

"Sasuke-chan-"

"Sorry Iruka-sensei, I really need to go to the restroom for uh...manly stuff."

"Manly stuff does not consist of sniffing the tissue paper that Kiseki-chan just threw into the trashcan, Sasuke-chan."

"Oh."

The silence in the classroom was deafening.

"So can I go?" the voice piped up again.

Groaning, Iruka wondered for the eleventh time that day why he had chosen to be a teacher, and how much he regretted it.

"Just scram."

 _Case Three: The Girl herself_

Iruka couldn't decide whether to be surprised when Kiseki was found rifling through his bag and retrieving his brown leather wallet. Items in the Academy had started going missing all of a sudden, and Kiseki had zero connections to any of them. Yet, Iruka was sure it was her. Her past track records of impulsive stealing had told him that much.

Why would she need the money, though? The Sagi were the richest of the merchants in Konoha, such that every time they left the village, they had to employ a B-rank to ward off enemy-nin. Perhaps if Naruto had done it, he would have understood. After all, he needed the money after all the stall owners in the market constantly overcharged him for being the kyuubi.

However, right when he was about to catch her, she disappeared and the bell rang. The next second, the class was being filled up by young prospective shinobi, one of which being Kiseki in an entirely new set of clothes. Iruka would have blamed it on a clone, but he knew for a fact that she hadn't been able to master the clone jutsu yet.

He scratched his head in confusion. ( Kiseki thanked the lords for easy to wear dresses and completely zip down overalls)

Iruka found himself emphathising more and more with Naruto after the Reign of Kiseki started. He should really treat the blonde to a bowl of ramen later. Honestly, Naruto never did anything to deserve this treatment.


	13. Chapter 13

**Heart - That's a very fun idea of yours! I'll add it as an omake probably :3 Thanks for leaving such long reviews, it really touches my heart and I can't believe people are actually willing to follow this story! I hope you continue to support this story~**

 **Batman- Your vote has been added! Shikaseki seems to be quite popular now, maybe I should tone it down?**

 **Guest (a girl from france) - Sound logic, I agree! Your vote has been added~ Just asking, are there any other characters you want to see Kiseki's interactions with? Let me know, I should probably add more haha**

 **Lirg123 - It's kind of crack yet not really? I wasn't sure where I was going with this story, but I tried to make it something that I myself would enjoy reading- a cup of fluff, a pinch of world domination, regular updates and some sad parts. Speaking of tragedy...**

 **Insert Name- It's a pleasure to write these! Don't worry about my time used to type these, I know to prioritise this thing second and studies first, but honestly Draw The Curtains have sort of become my outlet? in a sense that I have an ongoing project that I'm actually actively contributing to ever day, it gives me a genuine feeling of satisfaction.**

 **Fox3090- Your vote has been added! Again, I feel like I've been leaning too much towards Shikamaru and Sasuke these days, it's time to add a new character, please let me know if you have any ideas for who to add next!**

* * *

 **Woah! This is the most reviews I've ever gotten in a day! Thank you for your overwhelming response and well wishes for my exams~ Physics felt like I was doing rocket science, but hey, at least it's not 100% of my grade!**

 **Thank you to all favouritors, reviewers, followers, add to community-ers! It has truly been a joy to see this story grow, even though I'm 90% sure that it sucks. _(Why do so many people stop at Chapter Four?)_**

 **Anyways, let's start! Early Upload today because I'm planning to sleep a lil early for tomorrow:)**

 **I do not own Naruto or any part of Rock Lee's eyebrows**

* * *

Itachi wasn't coming back to Konoha. In the short time that Shisui had taken to wake up and confirm his innocence, Itachi had somehow managed to get himself into a group of missing-nins. Cretin 1 was furious, to the point where he had dragged Cretin 2 to help him carve a giant dick on the Hokage mountain that disturbingly resembled Itachi-sensei, complete with frown lies and a low ponytail. The only problem was that, Cretin 1 insisted that they also painted it in permanently staining ink.

It was still there after a month, and people got used to having a giant male reproductive organ right smack next to the Yondaime.

I would have tried to defend Itachi-sensei's dignity, but his innocence was now declared an A-rank secret, never to be disclosed to civilians. Hence, I settled for trying to figure out what the hell the thing on the Hokage Mountain was supposed to be.

Pity that I had never seen it in my life before, what with me dying a lonely illeterate virgin, so I had to ask Shikamaru what it was since I assumed that he was so smart that he would just explain it like everything else that I had asked before. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to define what it was, usually stuttering and going blue in the face.

I had to get the explanation from Kaa-san, who gave me a very scientific explanation of how human reproduction worked, and how males needed to procreate with females using their reproductive organs to ensure the livelihood of future generations. Of course, I was surprised at how apparently Shikamaru had one of those, since he was so reluctant to tell me what it was. Kaa-san reassured me that it wasn't something to be kept a secret, and males often compared it.

Unfortunately, no one was willing to entertain me any further. Kaa-san giggled in a strange manner, saying something about "puberty and coming of age." I already went through puberty in my past life, but nothing like this ever needed to be known. huh.

Interestingly enough, we went through our first sex-ed class as Academy students and get this. Kunoichi didn't get their periods after they ate a special pill. Having been one of those girls who suffered excruciatingly painful cramps in my past life, usually needing a hot water bottle to calm down my mood swings, I was amazed. I was excited for puberty for once! Not only that, acne was not a problem due to the pills ensuring regular hormones.

Apparently, the males had undergone a different type of talk, and for some reason, many of them were checking their pants. Interesting. I checked my pants too, maybe some sort of disease had spread around? The only thing I saw was my red underwear (for luck), and upon looking up, red faces of embarrassment.

* * *

 _Omake - Kiseki finds the Shrine_

Shisui-san had appeared while she was walking home, grinning from ear to ear as usual while he grabbed her kicking and screaming only to shunshin her into the Uchiha compound. Hold on... that shirt looks familiar... Was this Cretin 1's room? Shisui was silent as he watched me explore the humongous room, only to discover a little veiled drawer next to his bed. Upon encouragement from the Uchiha, I cautiously opened the veil.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Right smack in the middle, was an A3 sized drawing of me, probably done by himself, considering the squiggly lines and how one of my eyes looked like a blob at best. Actually, the only resemblance to me was the fact that the girl had long hair and a speech bubble said, "Cretin 1, I love you!" Did he literally enjoy being called that name? Surrounding said bubble littered hundreds of trinkets, ranging from a familiar hankerchief to an apple I bit into a few days ago. The apple had been preserved with a layer of resin, something that I never knew even existed in this world until now.

Candles lined the drawer like some sort of cult ritual, and I noticed that the light were strategically directed towards the upright picture, such that when lighted up in the dark, a magnified version of my picture would appear on the wall behind it.

It was all so _weird._ Thoroughly in shock, I couldn't help but stare at the drawer while hyperventilating for a few minutes, before Shisui grabbed me once more and deposited me in front of the Academy again, claiming that "Sasuke-chan had finished training for the day." He shunshinned away, leaving me wide eyed on the pavement, staring like a ghost into the empty space in front of me, unable to stop my panic from increasing.

What just happened?

Why had Shisui done that, just why?

Cretin 1 needed serious help. Turning with a little spin, I marched to the Naras for help once more. I needed the pats of wisdom.

"Yoshino-san?"

"Yes, Kiseki-chan?"

"What do you do when a guy has a veiled shrine of you that he prays to every night before bed?"

"Kiseki-chan. What."

"Shikaku-san?"

"I'm working. Go away."

"Shikaku-san, unless your documents are made of blankets and your desk a bad, I'm pretty sure-"

"It's my evening nap! _Everybody_ knows that a Nara's evening nap should _never_ be disturbed!"

"Shika-Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?"

"Cretin 1 has a shrine of me."

"Hmm."

"I kind of want to cry about it. Why are ninjas so _weird?_ "

"Come here then, it's is big enough for two. Next time however, never disturb a Nara's evening nap. You could have gotten into serious trouble if you hadn't been a family friend."

"Got it."

I went over to Shikamaru's futon and curled up inside of it next to him. My heart still beating fast, I tried to calm myself down because _Hey, maybe it was just all a dream and Cretin 1 will be back tomorrow with a shrine-less bedroom._ I felt the familiar warmth of Shikamaru's fingers running through my long hair as he sighed into my ear. "Troublesome girl."

 _Sasuke had a new addition to his shrine, called the "Kiseki-perfume."_

* * *

 _Omake - What would have happened if Kumo-nin tried to kidnap the Nara instead of the Hyuuga?_

Snickering evily inside his head, the evil ninja from the evil village crept evily into the house. Seriously, he thought evily, the security here was _way_ too lax. However, what surprised him more was that on his way to the clan heirs' bedroom, a door creaked open behind him.

What? How? He even made sure his evil footsteps were silenced!

"Never. Disturb. A Nara's. Nap."

A tiny girl angrily whispered to him, suddenly appearing in front of the ninja with her brown eyes and black hair, typical Nara. In a flash, her eyes narrowed and all the doors burst open, with angry and tired looking Naras advancing onto him.

"This is the first time I could sleep for 2 weeks." growled Shikaku.

"I have been deprived of my mid-morning naps ever since Shikamaru was born." hissed Yoshino.

"How dare you interrupt our nap."the entire family said creepily in unison. "The sinner will pay!"

"Eep!" squeaked the not-so-evil-anymore Kumo-nin.

 _The Naras advanced._

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you have a lil bit of time left to spare, please leave a review! I love reading your thoughts about the chapter, and your answers to the question of the chapters, and anything else!**

* * *

 **Question of the Chapter: If you had to swap two of the Akatsuki pairs, who would you swap?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: I agree that Gai would make a damn good Hokage, because look at him! He inspires the (YOUTHS) young, he has undying loyalty to his village, he's a trained war veteran and friends with the Rokudaime!**

* * *

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(+1)**

 **Shikamaru : 8(+1)**

 **Harem: 3**

 **Neji: 3**

 **Sasuke:2**


	14. Chapter 14

Hello readers! You might be wondering why I haven't uploaded for two days straight, and here's the answer-

my computer blacked out for no reason and I can't turn it back on, and I usually use the computer to type out my chapters, because it has my classic horizontal lines and I can't paragraph well on my phone. I should be getting it fixed soon in at most a month? so stay tuned for updates! UPDATE: I GOT IT WORKING AGAIN IN THE SAME DAY WHOOOP!

I will NOT stop writing chapters, so I'll probably just upload it all at once when I get back as a giant chapter

 **Heart- Thank you for your review YET AGAIN! :D I'm so happy yeeee**

 **And that's a very interesting pair, I'll try to remind myself to add that omake next chapter!**

 **Insert Name- I'm not offended don't worry! I'm touched by your concern, really, thank you for taking time to read the bits in bold, it really makes me super happy!**

* * *

Sakura's heart palpitated in fear. Her end was near, but she would give anything up for them.

Everyone she cared for. Everyone who supported her. The future depended on **her** alone.

His eyes bored into her head, but she steadfastly refused to meet his gaze. There was no way in hell that she would willingly let her village crumble to that madman. Even though her body ached in pain, she reached out and propelled herself back onto her feet. With a fluid motion, she shot up into the sky, spinning somersaults in midair to gain momentum.

There, that was her chance. A millisecond was all she needed. With a cry filled with bloodlust and vengefulness, she struck with all her might, making sure that her weapon made it all the way through his heart.

After her last critical attack, her opponent could fight no further. He lay on the ground motionless, and she felt others' gaze turning towards the enemy who had fallen. Sakura landed onto the ground, crouched and panting. Closing her eyes, she concentrated and felt it slowly calm down. She got up to her feet, and smirked in victory at the corpse that lay before her, Crushing his skull in one move, she then observed the battlefield around her. Finally, Konoha was safe once more.

Sakura dies immediately after this, then gets reborn in a young and vulnerable child's mind, manipulating them to fulfill her bloodlust, her goals, and her never carried out pranks on the Uchiha. Tell me what you think about it?

* * *

 **START OF CHAPTER 13**

My business in the civilian market was blooming well, and I had turned to switching between different civilians at a time, since the few I used at the start of my business had reported to the Police (not that I could be investigated now)

It had come to the point in which every Konoha citizen now had a large variety of clothing (skorts were unexpectedly a hit), school supplies (can you believe they didn't have cute erasers?), and household objects. Of course, I dutifully paid the taxes to the village so that I would not be caught for anything. My point is that, even without my parent's wealth, I was rich. They started tearing up when I announced that they no longer needed to fund my schooling, can you believe that?

I bought them another gift for being such loyal and supportive followers : a customised yukata in their favourite colours, complete with matching hair accesories and geta.

With so much left over wealth however, I decided to invest in ninja supplies. And the first time I set foot into the street which sold ninja supplies, I was shocked. All of them were _boring_ , with plain white and black designs that contrasted with the civilians' colourful lanterns that hung from every corner.

Each shop was labelled with a simple tag explaining what they sold and the general price range of the shop, completely different from the cons of the civilian district. I was instantly drawn to the ninja clothing shops, and slowly strolled through it, looking for gems.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a dark cloak complete with a black hood which could help me blend into the shadows, as well as black earplugs which I could use for future creations. Trying on the black cloak, I found myself enveloped by the fabric because it was definitely much too big for me, and I vowed to grow it out by the time I reached chunin.

Happily leaving the shop with my newest purchase, I picked up some ninja supplies (with the use of the black cloak to steal and leave behind money because I wasn't an official ninja yet)

It was a good day, and I was turning 8 soon.

Exiting the district, I found myself pushed back by an excited animal which yipped as it stood on me, it's furry paws pawing at my shirt, before it dashed off again at top speed. A little dazed, I picked myself up and tried to continue on my way, before getting bumped into yet again by one of the boys in my class, the one with the red marks under his eyes.

"Sorry!" He panted under the heat and strain of running. "I just got Akamaru, do he's not exactly tamed ye- Akamaru! Stop knocking over people!" A taunting yap was heard, and the boy rushed off after the puppy again.

What a strange day.

* * *

 _What happened after Chapter Four_

"What do you think of my newest genjutsu, my Eternal Rival?"

"It'll be great if you undid it, I think Asuma-san is still incapacitated by the scene of Kurenai you put his head. Gai, if you were to place your genjutsu skill in battle, your attack would be undefeatable."

"Ah, but why associate such a Youthful technique with the Horrible Battles of War?"

"Gai, your Smile Flash can push back a Kage."

"Exactly!"

* * *

 _Omake_ _Itachi's mission complete._

Itachi-sensei! I have finished the mission you gave me and now you'll have to continue training me!"

Itachi's big blue friend looked at me incredulously. "Who's this kid?" He asked and nudged Itachi. Silly big blue friend.

He yelped as a flame engulfed his finger, and hurriedly put it out with a water jutsu.

"So, Kiseki. How did you find us?" A low voice whispered.

"I...I borrowed Sasuke's hax genes while he wasn't looking so that I could do anything I wanted to accomplish!"

"My foolish little brother has hax genes? Right, I forgot that he was the Last Uchiha, complete with Capitalised Words."

"And what I found was under Jonin Kakashi's mask was..."

 _Itachi leans in by a single degree._

 _Team Kakashi in the bushes gasps in shock and leans in._

 _Kisame who wasn't sure what's so special about a scarecrow leaned in._

 _The plants leaned in._

 _Our secret stalkers leaned in._

was...a face!"

Everyone dramatically fell back on their backs with the exception of Itachi who leaned back by two degrees and hence only had the displacement of one degree.

Nevertheless, he still looked disappointed.

Itachi placed a genjutsu on me.

* * *

"was...buckteeth!"

"Hah!" A Sasuke dashed into the fray, madly laughing his head off. "I called it! Pay up, Team Seven!"

Grumbling, Sakura and Naruro paid Sasuke 10 ryo.

Kakashi was shook. "They didn't even bother to ask me for confirmation?" He wondered to himself.

Itachi set the entire clearing on fire.

* * *

"was... a handsome face!"

Kakashi gripped the bushes in shock.

Everyone else stared at me before hysterically laughing.

"There's no...No way that that guy is handsome." choked out Itachi.

"Yeah! If he was handsome he wouldn't have to read those stupid pornos!" added Naruto between gasps.

"You're a lying liar, Kiseki-chan!"

Even the plants seemed to be laughing.

Itachi set the whole Konoha on fire.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you have a lil bit of time left to spare, please leave a review! I love reading your thoughts** **about the chapter, and your answers to the question of the chapters, and anything else!**

 **Short Summary Competition!**

 **Details: If you think you can create a SMASHING summary for this story, please PM it to me! The competition closes when there are 5 or more submissions! Winner gets a 1k oneshot dedicated to whichever character/pairing they desire~**

 **Question of the Chapter: Where's the best place to put a slashed forehead protector? Your head, thrown away, or?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: They are perfect the way they are, but maybe Deidara and Sasori should be swapped with Itachi and Kisame, purely because of the difference in IQ.**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 8(1)**

 **Harem: 3**

 **Neji: 3**

 **Sasuke:2**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello beloved Readers, it's time for a birthday upload! I don't really celebrate my birthday much, but this year feels a little more special for some reason:)** **Thank you to everyone who put up with the mess that my daily uploads have turned into, and please read ahead!:D** ~

* * *

 _Grrr._ My stomach rumbled, the echoes of thunder ringing throughout the Academy classroom. I continued looking out of the window, ignoring the blatant stares of my classmates at the sheer volume of my hunger.

Cretin 1 looked ready to escape the classroom to feed me, but alas his devotion to being the perfect ninja has restricted his movements.

Umino-sensei paused in his teachings. "Do you need some time to eat a biscuit or two? It's not good to learn on an empty stomach."

"A shinobi should not be distracted from his duty for unnecesary needs." Someone muttered under their breath. Cretin 1 hissed at the student, his non-existent Sharingan spinning.

I tried to lay on my most charming smile but it came out more of a grimace. "I'll be fine sensei, please carry on with the lesson, I would hate to hinder others' learning."

Alright, so I may have been neglecting my food intake due to working on other projects, but it never used to affect me as much in my last life. Perhaps it was because I was a child and my body had not finished developing? Only time will tell.

.

.

.

 _Kiseki-chan is DIETING!,_ Ino telepathically conveyed to Sakura. _She's so cool!_

 _I know!_ Sakura mouthed back. _We should try dieting too, to be cool like her._

 _Alright, then. Our diet starts today!_ Both of them nodded in unison, causing their deskmates to shift their gaze onto them in confusion.

* * *

Hinata was on a mission. Follow Naruto-kun was now commenced, and she will succeed. After the boy had bravely defended her from the bullies, even getting injured in the process, Hinata had admired Naruto for his determination to protect and his spirit of optimism despite the hardships he went through.

Honestly, how much more inspiring could someone get? No, she wasn't in love, but Hinata knew that she wanted to form a closer bond with such an amazing character, because around him, she felt truly _empowered._

Her family had never treated her kindly, with the exception of Hanabi, but even her younger sister was starting to snub her when they sat down together for dinner.

Neji and many other Branch members had blamed her for the death of Hizashi Hyuuga, Head of the Branch Family and she was forced to face their criticisms every single day.

It made her wonder. If her father had been born second, would she have led a better life? Furiously shaking her head, Hinata tried to forget the thought. Father would have her head if he ever found out.

However, there was a slight problem with her life. Kiseki-chan was turning her cousin into a lovesick puppy, and Naruto actively hated her. Hinata had never seen anything like it, and the first time that Neji had returned to the Main House to serve after showing Kiseki around the Branch Compound, he had started singing sappy love songs, only to be quietened by an elderly.

Neji. Singing. Her eyes couldn't possibly get any wider at that. Had she not seen his familiar chakra system with her Byakugan, she would have thought that her cold hearted cousin was an imposter.

And futhermore, loveable, bright, cheerful Naruto hated Kiseki. Was the world spinning around? In the span of a few years, everything Hinata had known was changed.

She would continue to observe this strange phenomenon.

* * *

 _Omake - turning every evil character OOC_

Kiseki walked up to Orochimaru, flashing her big, adorable puppy eyes and jutting out her lip cutely. Instantly, the big bad evil snake man cooed and bent down to pick her up like a toddler, then hugging her and nuzzling his forehead against hers.

"She's just so cute!" he squealed, causing his former teammates and all three summons to sweatdrop.

Sasori rolled his eyes at his now dancing partner. The Akatsuki were made up of idiots, all of them.

* * *

Kiseki held a pale boy's hand. Sai felt a wave of emotions flooding him, and the desire to express his love for Kiseki became so great that he couldn't stop himself from spouting 500 verses of poetry to describe his feelings using 328 synonyms.

"What?" Yamato stared at him incredulously. "You refused to repeat any of that from my lessons in front of the Hokage, but now you're apparently Shakespeare himself?"

"Who's Shakespeare?" Kiseki asked, tilting her head to the side.

"I'm not quite sure my love, but I must confess a heinous sin that I have committed, for I am aiding Orochimaru in his nefarious deeds!" Sai declared passionately.

"Oh that's fine," Kiseki waved it off. "He likes me."

Sasori entered the fray once more from being pulled by Orochimaru to see his newest pet and sweatdropped harshly.

"All idiots." He muttered, shaking his head in disappointment at himself for agreeing to join such a stupid group.

"My love! Please do not leave me!"

* * *

Kiseki waved at Madara. He waved back from the cave, but the action took so much effort that he accidentally broke his back which killed him instantly.

Oh dear, Kiseki thought. I hope he wasn't important.

* * *

Kiseki was done being a Mary-Sue. Every single problem was just solved _too easily_. Where was the thrill that the ninja life promised? Where was the tragic backstory that she could reveal to gain enemy-nin's sympathy? Where were the hardships that she had to endure in order to gain close bonds with her friends and develop her moral character?

Closing her eyes, she lifted her kunai and stabbed herself in the heart, before instantly regretting it as her life flashed past by her eyes and finally ended, without her achieving her wishes of character development.

However, she woke up with a start. It was the Infinite Tsukiyomi. Curses! She lived again!

* * *

 **Yes, Kiseki is currently a MAJOR Mary Sue in my eyes, and I intend to change that fact. Even though I wanted her to have multiple love interests from the beginning, I didn't want those "everything falls into place without me having to suffer" fics. I assure you, my dear reviewers, that I am a fan of character death. hint. I hope my uploads become steadier again, bai!**

 **Question of the Chapter: futons or beds?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: If I hated my village so much, I would humiliate it by using it as a headband (poor iruka)**

 **Kiseki Love Interest's Poll:**

 **Anyone other than Neji or Sasuke(1)**

 **Shikamaru : 8(1)**

 **Harem: 3**

 **Neji: 3**

 **Sasuke:2**


	16. Chapter 16

**Insert Name- I solemnly swear that I will not kill off Shikamaru. If you liked the different POVs, I'll try to do more! I'm just kind of afraid that I switch POVs too much and it gets annoying:/**

 **Guest- Harem indeed. I love your review, it made me burst out laughing!**

 **Guest Chan- Thank you for your kind review! I'm also very interested in seeing what Kiseki does next!**

 **Animecutylover- As I write this, I see that you just reviewed chapter 5, and thank you for reviewing each and every one of my chapters! As for her average looks, I didn't want a character that was physically Mary-Sue, with rainbow/pastel hair and differently coloured irises, complete with a signature look. Kiseki is just Julia, a crook reborn into an unknown world. I feel that I make her charm too over exaggerated at times, especially since I think in one of the early chapters I said that she was 'awkward'. Eh, let's see how it goes~**

 **Heart- Yup! I am back! (I think) I've been trying to think of ways that this story could progress, and amongst all the celebrations and activities, I barely had time to sleep so-. Thank you for your review! Since people have like Hinata's POV, I will do it once more!**

 **Thank you for all your love and support! I was super happy to see all your favourites, reviews, follows, reads, and I am proud to say that this story has been added to THREE communities! Honestly, I never believed that such a thing could happen, since my writing skills frankly suck.(to me at least)**

 **On with the chapter!**

 **I do not own Naruto in any way.**

* * *

~Time skip because nothing very interesting happens until they're twelve~

Kiseki sits down in the mat in front of you next petting a purring Shikamaru, staring right into your eyes. She visibly grows, her hair getting longer and her bone structure increasing in definition. She is now the same height as Shikamaru, though still not obvious from his slouching. Opening her mouth, she speaks.

"So, this is how it's going to work. I grew my civilian business through a variety of ways, but never delving into the ninja segment of the market in fear of sparking too much attention. I have also grown out of my "holier than thou" attitude towards Kaa-san and Otou-san, though not to anyone else. I have fallen to fifth place in taijutsu and ninjutsu, but I can still do the Academy standard jutsus, just not as well as Cretin 1 and the others. However, I am still at the top of trap-making, speed which was further boosted after Shisui taught me the shunshin, and kunoichi classes, no matter how stupid it sounds."

Shikamaru talks mid-purr. " Canon is as usual, with the exception of a particularly obsessive person."

Neji, Sasuke and Kiseki narrow their eyes at him.

"Nevermind. Tch, troublesome."

"For all of you who still like Iruka's Annual Reports, don't fret because Jeye will still be uploading one for each year, just not all at once!" Kiseki ends, stopping her administrations.

~End of Time Skip~

* * *

"Tou-san, Kaa-san, can I take the genin test?" No longer as arrogant as I were before, I shifted my eyes up to meet the worried looks of my second parents. Honestly, they had been so supportive all this time, I never knew that I would have to resort to negotiating for this.

Kaa-san frowned. "You know we only let you continue because you were happier there right? Ninjas kill, Kiseki. There's a perfectly fine civilian school just across the Academy, you'll be able to see your friends then."

"It's not the same, Kaa-san. I know my future is in becoming a ninja, being a civilian after going through all that training is just not an option anymore."

"Tou-san would like to say that-"

Kaa-san continued frowning at me. "Please, Kaa-san. I know I always ask a lot of you, but I'm sure that you understand how I feel? The feeling of having classmates that are on par with you, who can match me intellectually. How could you ask me, now, to willingly take away what makes me happy?"

"Tou-san wants to mention how-"

"Furthermore, I've been doing so well in the Academy, to prove to you that I flourish in this environment. Are you suggesting that my efforts will not even do anything to persuade you? I won't try to lie to you, there are ninjas who die on missions, there are those who get scarred for life. Despite all this, I know myself, and everything in me is determined to become a successful ninja, and I wish you would support me in this."

Kaa-san looked contemplative, and an awkward silence fell upon all three of us. Tou-san tried to break the silence.

"Kiseki, actually we-"

"Can you prove it?" Kaa-san asked suddenly, cutting Tou-san off. "Do you promise that, if you cannot become Chunin in your first exam, you will immediately drop out of the ninja career and resign?"

I stared straight back at her and hardened my gaze. "I promise."

"Tou-san needs to-"

"Fine then. Sign up. At least at the end of all of this, I know that you're doing what you want. Have I ever told you about my own childhood?"

Searching my memory, I was horrified to realize that I've always been so caught up in my own world that I did not even spare a single thought about the two adults that raised and loved me in this life. No matter how many lives I lead, I need to love them back, for parents love their children no matter what, and I should love them no matter what as well. How could I love someone I didn't know? This needed to be corrected immediately.

Falling to my knees, I hung my head in shame as I apologized. "No, Kaa-san, you have not. I'm sorry for not taking time to know you or Tou-san better."

"Then let me tell you." Her finger tip raised my chin, and a smiling Kaa-chan came into view."I was an orphan, someone with nothing to my name. My teachers had abandoned me, and I grew lonely and made myself an easy target for bullies. Life was not as easy back then, not only was it hard to support my livelihood, I also had no skills that could be developed in the village, and I went homeless for many years."

A sense of déjà vu struck me as I connected the similarities between my past life and my mother. Could it be? "Then, I found a kind merchant, who took me under his wing. He was the father of your Tou-san, and loved me like his daughter. He was my world, and I could never have come this far without him. However, he died when a ninja tried to assassinate the ninja protecting him, and I can still remember how he shouted for your Tou-san and me to stay put in the tent and hide."

A wave of shame overcame me. Kaa-san wasn't being unreasonable, her one father figure had died due to shinobi. I should have known. I should have been a better daughter.

Looking both of my parents in the eyes, I couldn't stop the tear drop leaking from my own. "I promise that I will protect you better than they ever did." I shakily vowed. "I'll be in as much danger as if I weren't even a ninja."

Tou-san spoke up. "Kiseki. Kaa-san and I are both proud of you and your decisions. We might not have been the best parents, but we want to do whatever we can to support you." He visibly hesitated for a second, before continuing. "Even if it's scary to watch our Kiseki engage in battles to the death."

I promptly glomped them both, hugging them as closely to my chest as possible. I love my parents.

"Also, you're getting a little sister, Kaa-san is ten weeks along now.."

Kaa-san hit him on the arm. "Why didn't you remind me earlier? I wanted to say that Kiseki had to be a responsible older sister, even as a ninja!"

Tou-san looked like he wanted to cry, I wonder why.

* * *

Hinata's POV~

Hinata tried to do the same thing that she did with Naruto for Kiseki. She wanted to know how she ticked, what kind of life she lived. But for some reason, everytime she followed the black haired girl, she found herself lost in a crowd that popped out of nowhere and was forced to ask the nearest Hyuuga (while trying and failing to stutter less) how to get to the compound.

After a week, she gave up.

Instead, Hinata began to observe her surroundings at the Academy. She noticed the control that Kiseki had over some of the people in her class, though not intentionally. Having always been focused on the more radiant blonde haired boy in the room, Hinata found many things that shocked her but no one else.

First of all, she used Shikamaru-kun as a cat. Second of all, the broody Uchiha that seemed to snap at anyone that came near him, even making a few girls cry, had curled himself around her thumb, openly trailing after her like a lovesick puppy. Thirdly, Shino-kun was regularly blushing everytime they paired up, and constantly found him sneaking glances at Kiseki when he thought she wasn't looking. (She wasn't) Lastly, Sakura-chan and Ino-chan had formed a fangirl group to trail after Sasuke, and used Kiseki as their guide to becoming 'cool' and "worthy of Sasuke-kun's love". Hinata could hardly recognize them after seeing Sakura and Ino try black hair one day.

What jutsu was she pulling? A genjutsu? Or was it her charisma, plain and simple? Hinata needed to talk to her to find out.

"Kiseki-chan… I…I…"

"Shh, can't you see I'm doing something?" She was petting Shikamaru-kun's hair. Both of them looked peaceful, and Hinata suspected that it was a form of therapy for the two of them. What had they gone through?

"I'm Hyuuga… Hinata."

"Cool." Turning away from the surprised girl, she resumed her actions.

Hinata didn't know whether to feel offended or not.

* * *

"Kiseki Sagi, please enter the examination room. "

My journey in the Academy had finally come to an end. It was more nerve wrecking than emotional, seeing as there were no such things as further education after the exams. Everyone just become a shinobi, or civilian. I entered the room, stumbling a little on the tiny step at the door of the room. First, I sat through a theory test about the standard things that the Academy taught us. Then, came the taijutsu.

I was extremely nervous, because despite being above average in this subject, there was still a possibility that I might do badly for this section. However, luck seemed to be on my side together as Iruka stepped out to battle. Lastly, nin-justu. Again, that was my weak subject at the Academy. Thankfully, all my clones were passable and I received a nod from the examiner.

Finally, I was handed the famed headband. Holding it with two hands, I looked down at it in awe. For six years, everyone had the goal of being given this article of clothing, and for me, that dream had become reality.

I tried tying it around my forehead. It started to slip down immediately.

I tried using it as a armband like Shikamaru but my muscles were not yet developed enough to sustain its position.

Then, I tried putting it around my wrist and found people giving me weird looks.

Fuck it, I'm using it as a blindfold. That way I couldn't see people judge me.

And that was how Class 6A found me walking unsteadily back to the class the next day, holding onto Shikamaru for my dear life and unable to see the blush that swept across his cheeks.

I think I heard Cretin 1 whisper possible death threats, but I'm not too sure.

Iruka couldn't tell whether to be relieved or horrified that Kiseki didn't use the forehead protector as a headband, after all. However, Sakura did, to which he shot her a look of disappointment.

"Now listen up!" he barked, getting the class' attention. "Here are your team assignments! Team One…"

"Team Two. Kiseki Sagi, Kaguma Hayuri, and Itoyu Rikudai." I was disappointed that I had not been placed in the same team as Shikamaru and Shino, but I was expecting it. I was just a civilian after all, and not expected to make it past genin. I looked over at who I thought were the two teammates, and waved. One waved back, the other looked confused. Whoops, maybe I should have paid more attention to my classmates instead of labeling them with names such as Purple Haired Girl and The One Who Sneezes At The Wrong Times.

"Team Seven. Uchiha Sasuke, Sakura Haruno, and Naruto Uzumaki. Team Eight…"

Cretin 2 looked crushed.

Sakura looked crushed.

Cretin 1 looked at me longingly.

"Your senseis will pick you up in the next room. Dismissed. "

The first thing I did was to gather my groupmates. Hurriedly crafting a shoddy team 2 flag out of a piece of paper, blood and a stick, I raised it high in the air and headed to the other room. Feeling two presences follow me, I turned around and saw a brunette with grey eyes as well as another brunette with blue eyes and a weird hat. Yes, I lifted the headband off my eyes for that. Frankly, they looked very much like cannon fodder.

"You look dumb with that headband around your eyes. Put it around your neck if its loose, idiot."

Well, that was rude. However, the deep voice could not have come from the two twelve year olds, and I slowly raised my eyes to see a slender civilian. Both his eyes and hair were brown and he wore a set of civilian clothes, which I noted had my brand on it, making me swell up in pride.

Wait, hold on a minute. Weren't we supposed to get Jounins as senseis? I'm definitely going back to Itachi-sensei now, missing-nin or not. Right when I was pondering on how exactly I was going to kidnap Hatake-san, I found my arm being grabbed and forced to shunshin along with the sensei to god knows where.

Finding myself in the middle of a clearing, I gained my bearings and entered the basic Academy stance before looking around only to see that my teammates who had likely not learnt the shunshin dropping to the floor like sacks of rice.

"A ninja should always be vigilant. And for that, you two fail. Sagi, come with me." After seeing my two teammates being left on the ground like unmoving cows, I decided that this sensei was most probably not one to be pissed off, and I followed along.

Well, I thought. This could be interesting.

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Fourth Annual Student Report of Class 4A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend?), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (Seriously, _when will he learn_.)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 8

Height: 120cm

Weight: 23.2kg

Strengths: Speed, Kunoichi Classes, Chakra Control, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu

Traits:

Daredevil – Having been encouraged by her civilian parents, Kiseki is now trying to behave like a "real ninja". However, this does not consist of following the Shinobi Code more closely or playing "Ninja" more seriously, but instead dressing up in black bandages that cover her entire body and shouting "Haiyah!" every time she throws a shuriken. Many instructors have also given feedback that Kiseki no longer comes into class before it starts, instead using a shunshin to 'appear' in her seat the moment the teacher takes attendance. This instructor hopes that she will stop soon, for other students are following her example and attempting to mimick her actions, which is NOT what a ninja should act like.

Kleptomaniac- Strange objects have started popping up on students' tables, most of them things that they had lost in the past. One of them was a confused white cat that ran away when the children started crowding around it. Much lesson time was wasted chasing after said cat, as Sasuke had offered stories of his brother "chasing after a lost cat for his genin missions" and the students decided that it was good practice being ninja. While Iruka would mourn the loss of his lesson time, he sadistically would mourn even further for the lack of surprise when they receive the Tora Mission for the first time.

Perfectionist- Kiseki is slowly beginning to understand that she will never be perfect in all areas of the ninja arts, so she has descended into finding other perfect things. Such as, perfectly fitting clothes for both size and occasion, perfect looking humans (Ino-chan was especially flattered), perfect arm-rests (The instructor had to remove Neji from the wrong class more than once this term) This instructor would like all of this to just stop, please.

* * *

 _Omake- If Gai was part of the Akatsuki_

"And my plan for the world, is to put everyone into a Genjutsu, using the Eternal Mangekyo." Madara revealed to the Akatsuki. "Peace will finally be achieved."

"Why, my Youthful Boss!" Gai cried as he shot the place a blinding smile. "I can think of a way to make it such that we don't even need the power of the Tailed Beasts!"

"Really?" Madara was interested. "Tell me more."

The world descended into a bright sunset, and a humongous rainbow shone across the Five Great Nations.

"Oh god…" Kakashi whispered in dread. "This is unbeatable."

The Hokage curled up in fear, not wanting to face the inevitable. The Green Beast's Sunset Genjutsu had befallen them. There was no escaping this one. Every army stopped in shock, as they gazed upon the obviously fake rainbow and the bright, gleaming smile that pushed them back. Magnificent waves crashed in the corner.

"Welcome to my Eternal Genjutsu, my Youthful friends!"

* * *

 **So, I had been going through what I finally identified as a "Writer's block", and I've been stuck at 1.6k for what seemed to be _forever_ , thankfully I emerged victorious! Tell me what you think about this chapter! Yes, Kiseki is now an apprentice of a perfectly normal person, much like her perfectly normal life. What's with that?**

 **Also, due to the overwhelming support for Shikamaru, he will now be the main love interest! *applauds* However, no one said anything about side ones, so don't give up my dear Harem supporters!:)**

 **This story now has more reviews than favourites, and I honestly love yall for that. I always felt that reviews were so much more sincere of one's appreciation, anyways. If you liked this chapter, please leave this story a follow, review, and/or favourite!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow! In just 2 days (when I'm writing right now), we got up to 91 follows! Tell you what, when we reach 100 follows/reviews/favourites, I'll write some fanservice dedications, so review something that you'll want me to write!**

 **Insert Name- Thank you for your support and sheer speed at reading the update! I enjoy reading your reviews too, it really helps to boost my morale to write the next chapter**

 **xXSpades231Xx- Oh no, you've caught up! Good thing this story is definitely not going into hiatus;)**

 **iluvstorys - Thank you for your review! I'm so happy that you answered the questions of the chapter**

 **Heart- That's an interesting concept you got there! As for Gai becoming Kiseki's jonin sensei, sorry but I don't think I'll be able to make that happen since he already has three cute little genin with him, but I'll definitely make their meeting SPECTACULAR**!

* * *

I headed for my very first training session, with Unknown-sensei, this time with my headband ("forehead protector!") around my neck. He gave good advice, I didn't feel it try to slip down even once, especially after I put some Kiseki-Stick-On-Fast alcohol-based glue on the back of my neck. Despite trying to get information from the teachers, civilians and blackmailing the Hokage once more, none of them knew of a Completely Average Looking Jonin. Apparently, most of them were eccentric as hell, and usually had a quirk to keep them sane. The better the ninja, the crazier the quirk.

Hence, the sensei that I met yesterday must have been weak as hell, or under a henge. Curious. Why would a Jonin-Sensei test us on a skill that civilians were unlikely to know? Unless...he was EVIL. That must be it. Cackling to myself, I hid myself in a tree before the sensei arrived. I would expose his misdeeds and gain the admiration of the shinobi! I will trap him in my excellent quality ninja wire and...

And...

"Shisui?"

"Hello, my new genin!" He beamed up at me from the tree from his spot below, arms akimbo. "Don't worry about those two, they never wanted to be chunin anyways. Said it was too dangerous. I heard you wanted to be a jutsu thief from your academy reports, some of which were _extremely hilarious_ by the way, and who better to teach you then me, Shisui of the Shunshin!"

"But...But how?" I didn't know whether to be glad or horrified. His smile never wavered. "Why, through my sheer awesomeness! Aren't you grateful that I went through all the trouble of getting you as an apprentice? Now, let's get to training, my cute chibi-chan." He started motioning for me to follow him deeper into the training grounds, and I did.

Having trained with Shisui every week, I figured it wouldn't be that different from usual. Sadly, I was severely mistaken and my relief turned into dread when Shisui pulled out a pair of weights only to dangle it tauntingly infront of me. The ropes looked like they were going to snap from the weight.

"Your file says that you suck at taijutsu and ninjutsu, so guess which amazing part of ninja arts we will be working on today?" His bright smile turned predatory.

I feared for my life. Quickly thinking of a new plan, I opened my mouth to do what I did best.

"I'll give you a set of that civilian brand's new collection that you wore yesterday if you don't use the weights until I think I'm ready."

"Deal- wait, how? Those clothes cost me at least a B-rank mission's pay to get! Since I don't believe you, if you can't get them, you'll be carrying two times the weight."

I smiled mysteriously back at him.

* * *

"So just list your name, likes, dislikes, goals, stuff like that."

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, Old man Jiji and pranking! I hate the three minutes needed for my instant ramen to cook, as well as Teme over there, and people who don't fall for my pranks! My goal is to become the Hokage, dattebayo! And everyone will respect me!"

"I am Haruno Sakura. My likes...*giggle*. I hate Naruto. In the future, I want to...*giggle*, and I want to be a strong kunoichi, I guess." Pinkie started ogling Emo Duck-hair.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like praying to my shrine. I hate everything. My goal is to bring back that piece of shit on the Hokage Monument and restore my clan with Kiseki-sama." At this, sparkling hearts appeared in his onyx eyes much like those in Pinkie's eyes.

"I hate these kids even more now." Kakashi thought privately to himself. "And who the hell is Kiseki? I guess the Uchiha can't continue their incestuous relationships. Perhaps that was why Itachi killed them? So that he could get married? Ahuhuhu… This is just like another series of Icha Icha!"

 _While passing super secret information about the Akatsuki to Jiraiya, both of them sneezed at the same time. They looked at each other in undiluted horror at the possible implications._

"Well all of you seem like great ninjas with your different goals and aspirations, but there is still one more test that you haven't passed..."

* * *

"My dream? I want to marry a completely average woman and live in a normal house with a white picket lock fence. We will have two kids, a boy then a girl. Then I'll die before my wife. However, I know that it's never going to happen."

"Why?" Asuma was intrigued. This was the first thing that came out of the Nara's mouth that didn't involve complaining.

Ino couldn't help but butt in. "That's because he's already in love with Kiseki! And she wants world domination!"

Asuma chuckled. These kids always have big dreams, but they'll grow out of it in the end. Naras always found their significant others quite early in life, but Shikamaru found his way earlier. Maybe it was a clan heir thing?

"Our old class were already following her lead for a few years!"

Asuma sweatdropped. Perhaps not. Shikamaru truly found "troublesome" women to be with.

"But Shikamaru has competition! Sasuke-kun is chasing after her as well! Kiseki-chan is so cool, I wanna be like her too!"

Everyone except Ino started to sweatdrop.

"Even the creepy bug-boy likes her, I saw him giving her the _look_!"

Shikamaru decided that it was a good time for a nap. Asuma wanted to follow his example, he really did.

* * *

 _Let's have a short complaint from Jeye(The author) on her X key being stuck and making it hard to type as fluently as she wants to. Troublesome._

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Fifth Annual Student Report of Class 5A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend?), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (It's becoming a little scary now.)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 9

Height: 135cm

Weight: 28.7kg

Strengths: Speed, Kunoichi Classes, Chakra Control, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu

Traits:

Daredevil – She has started excercises that she calls "Ninja Training Revised", consisting of a game where one runs on buildings away from others, without chakra or an adult's supervision. Iruka fears for her life, as well as her little trail of followers that try to keep up. Sasuke's smirk grows wider every time he beats the rest, and Shikamaru seems to have given up after the first step. Surprisingly, the Hyuuga decided not to try, claiming it to be "a waste of time" with a downcast expression.

Kleptomaniac- In order to further her cult within the class, Kiseki has 'magically' appeared with items when a student needs it most, for example a pencil before exams. She has denied all claims of her thieving, and has tried to persuade several instructors to follow her personal cult and call her Kiseki-sama. It is unsurprising to hear that some have relented after hours of full on Uchiha Puppy Eyes mixed with the Nara Glare, a deadly combination to which many shinobi would agree.

Perfectionist- Through her desire for a 'perfect image', Kiseki has started to carry herself more gracefully in class, which greatly boosted her grades in Kunoichi classes. She has also decided to become a 'perfect' ninja during classes, which the instructor feels like he deserves because the past four years have been hell, and at least this year, her activities couldn't be traced back to his teachings.

* * *

 _Omake- in which everyone's character traits are overly exaggerated_

 _Shikamaru_

A small, slouching boy whose ponytail was so short and spiky that it could cut through pineapples. Some say that he owned a private weapon sharpening shop in which he would carve the blade with the ends of his hair, some said that he could cause a dent through the finest of metals, and others speculated that his hair would become an afro when down.

He staggered to the tree, nearly dozing with each step, before collapsing in a heap on top of his favourite hill where he proceeded to snore for the next three wars. However, he was so smart that he could telepathically send his thoughts to the current Hokage to win each and every war, while also crafting technology for the future generations and beating Albert Einstein in shogi.

"Troublesome. What a drag. Ugh, Women." Were his only phrases, yet through the sheer intelligence of his mind, people manage to understand that he had crafted a thousand plans in a second, and had identified the best course of action and their most vulnerable positions.

However, when he is angry... No one can defeat an angry Nara.

So try to kill them AFTER their evening nap.

* * *

 _Neji_

An elegant male sat in the seiza position in a very traditional room on a very traditional floor. His hair was silky smooth, not needing to be maintained by any shampoo or conditioner. Truly, he was the envy of females all over the world. With a slight bow, his glorious healthy hair spread around him like a halo, mesmerizing his audience.

"Angst." He announced moodily. "Fate determines our lives, you will never defy fate. I am doomed to fate, and so you must be fated to be inferior to me."

He coldly laughed out loud. "Ha. Ha. Ha. I am the funniest man in the world, yet I am still so full of emotional hate for my family, I will never forgive the person who didn't really do anything because I am fated to be inferior. Oh no."

For recreation, he very delicately crashes a few parties and calls for the Konoha Police Force, before ruining the celebrations of the newly minted Genin. "You are DOOOOMED to die, as it is set by FATE!" He cried, instantly flashing his moves that he stole from the Main Branch. " I will now demonstrate using my superior taijutsu skills that you have no way to counter!"

And for his final act, he dies dramatically on the battlefield. "Fate has come to collect my body, for I am sentenced to death by Fate. Hinata-sama, I still hate you but I'll be nice to you for once so that you will be emotional when you mourn for me. Tenten, do my bidding and read my will, for I am still superior than you even in death. And now, my last words...Angst, angst, and emotional trauma."

* * *

 _Kiseki_

An extremely plain and ordinary girl sits in a normal white-walled room with wooden floors. She cackles evily to herself. "Look at me, I am such a deep character yet I behave like I'm actually a 7 year old girl! Wow, look at me I'm so damn _evil._ Oh wait, I get affected by death, but its okay because I have a minion who doesn't really do minion-ish things!"

She walks through the crowd and the crowd is instantly mesmerized by her simply indescribable charm. They start kowtowing to her, calling her "Kiseki-sama!" and violently handing her flowers, which sit perfectly in her hair.

"I'm a civilian who somehow has more charisma than the last heir of one of the founding clans of this village. Boys, be dazzled by my literally plain brown eyes!"

Cretin 1 runs up to her throne, panting. "Marry me, Kiseki-sama! I love you!"

"Oh?" Kiseki asks obliviously, because she is an innocent creature even after experiencing two lives. "What does that mean? Is that an insult? Be punished, cretin!"

And with that, she waves her arms and Iruka-sensei pulls him away to be executed by guillotine. Cries of "Kiseki-sama sentenced me to death but I still love her with all my heart!" could be heard from his direction.

* * *

 _Tenten_

A tomboy who looked like a boy with two manbuns and a Chinese-style dress was casually throwing humongous sharpened weapons at deadly speeds at moving targets behind her. "Stay still," she growled, her biceps bulging at her sheer strength. "I can't do anything other than throw weapons so I need to at least do this right!"

Against the enemy, she unleashes scrolls upon scrolls of weapons, all accurately pinpointing the enemy's used path. Yet, with one swoop of ninjutsu, her weapons are deflected. "Damn," She cursed. "Not another enemy who has more than basic ninja skills up their sleeves."

"Psst, how many battles have our Youthful teammate been useful in this entire anime, Youthful Neji?" Rock Lee whispered to Neji. Neji coolly shed a tear of angst before replying, "One, and that was her showcase at the introduction of her character."

"Raaarrr! I am a girl who should not be mistaken as a male!" Tenten screamed as she threw a knife at the enemy, only to duck when it was sent back with a flick of a wrist. "Literally no one has mistaken you as a male!" Everyone screamed back at her as they continued fighting.

* * *

G _ai_

A bright light surrounds the arena, and Enemies trembled in fear. There, in an orange scarf, personalized headband ("forehead protector!"), leg warmers and a tight to the crack, neon green jumpsuit and a shiny black bowlcut complete with matching black eyebrows, stood Gai Maito.

Some say that he stole the eyebrows of Gaara at birth, due to the lack of synthetic hair being available at the time. Some said that his eyebrows were absorbing his sanity in order to fully cover his face, then his body, with the end goal of becoming bigger than the universe.

"Youth!" He shouted, his teeth gleaming and his pecs bulging with every stride. "I'm so muscular yet no one wants to date me, Youth!"

"Youth!" His mini-me cried by his side.

"Youth! YOUTH! YOUUTH! YoOUOUutHH!"

"At least someone's normal today." sweatdropped a Hokage in front of his crystal ball. The smoke from his pipe increasing the haze index of the village, and his porn books littered the streets. His beard littered the floor violently.

* * *

 **Guess who just got inspiration! That's right, me! I was reading the reviews when I suddenly got struck by a lightning of Plot Progression and it thundered some Dramatic Twist into my ears. Yes, I do not plan out multiple chapters at once because I find it a drag to write out something that I've already imagine, would you agree? I know it makes things more structured, but I rather have a complete story than a structured one. Besides, it's already arranged chronologically. (kinda)**

 **Please tell me what you think about this chapter, and whether I should do more shorts of the omake?**

 **Reviews are love, but favourites and follows are treasures too!**

 **Question of the Chapter: Oops, I forgot to do this last chapter haha but lets pretend that didn't happen. If you were a ninja, which profession would you go for, assuming you're good in all skills?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: futons, because I can't sleep in a bed but I can sleep literally anywhere else. Plus I heard they're better for your backs?**

 **WE WILL BE REACHING 40K IN THE NEXT 1-2 CHAPTERS, WHO'S EXCITED WITH ME?**

* * *

 _I am currently looking for a (much-needed) beta for this story because oh god the grammar is awful everytime I reread it. So if you don't mind helping me to weed out the flaws in my writing, please PM me!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello friends! Once again, I am preparing for exams, and this time it's the national exams O.O So not only will I have to battle inspiration, I'll also battle time management, but I'm sure we can pull this off! Hence, I probably won't be able to upload every day, but I'll try to upload as soon as I reach a reasonable amount of words per chapter~**

 _We're reaching 100 follows soon! Please write in the reviews some suggestions on what me to do to celebrate it!_

 **Heart- Thank you for reviewing consistently, it makes me so excited to look forward to your long and detailed review! Medic-nin hmm? Kind of like Sakura then? I'm sure you'll be a badass one! If you would like some more Shisui and Kiseki interaction, you'll have it!**

 **TheVulcanNara- Same! Honestly, my favourite character is Shikamaru so I'm probably biased towards him this entire story, since your username contains the word Nara, I'm assuming he's your favourite as well?**

 **Insert Name-Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad to see that you're so excited for updates!**

 **xXSpades231Xx- WOah long review alert! XD As for Kiseki, true, I should probably work on developing her skills. Mind coming up with some cool sounding ninjutsu for me? As for Choji, he's kind of a side character and his lines are mostly *chomp, chomp* Sakura also only becomes badass in Shipudden after she got Tsunade to whip her into shape, so don't expect her to be the powerhouse you know yet:/ I'm assuming you mean tailed beast. Shikamaru wouldn't care, tbh. Sasuke would try to Sharingan her into loving him, and her parents wouldn't even know about it. Thanks for your thought provoking question!**

 **MechanicalCaptain- I got that from an old naruto video I saw a long time ago, I believe it was Gaara singing "I Love You" by Barney? Thanks for the review!**

 **I do not own Naruto, but everyone knows that.**

* * *

Shisui was even worse than Itachi. Itachi was a merciless sensei, forcing me to keep up with him while munching on his dango like the sadist he was. Shisui on the other hand…sigh. He was _evil._ Constantly taunting me, he would set traps in my training excercises for _fun_ and _accidentally_ hit me with A-rank ninjutsu when we were sparring, telling me that "I'm preparing you for the future missions, Chibi-chan."

My missions most certainly _did not_ include fire breathing dragons made of fire breathing down my neck as I tried to frantically dodge the rock missiles below me. It did, however, include gardening old people's homes, cleaning out bedpans at the hospital and babysitting the ugliest baby you would ever see. He was in his terrible twos, and terrorized adults and genin alike. His face was squashed in, his fat lips were uneven and his eyes were tiny.

I hated him. Shisui loved him, because the baby would spit at me before hugging him. I wanted to flip the table, because _The Great Kiseki does not tolerate disrespect from ugly babies, damn it!_

Although his methods were pure evil and I wanted to throw _myself_ into the Naka River after every session from sheer tiredness, I had to admit that my stealth improved by leaps and bounds. He taught me how to move gracefully with the shadows, and how to sneak past people even when wearing the brightest colours(We stalked Cretin 2 for a demonstration).

After weeks of hard-core training, I could confidently say that I could infiltrate into the Hokage's tower and steal the most prized thing there, without having to use a single jutsu to waste my chakra that I could have been using to stick onto the ceiling. My black cloak had come in especially useful, and Shisui had generously helped to make sure that my movements with and without the cape were equally fluent.

"Ouch!"

"You know the rules, Chibi-chan. One millimeter out of the cloak, one senbon to the knee."

During one of our mission debriefs, Shisui explained how he had chosen to specialize in a basic ninjutsu in order to create a name for himself, so perhaps I could follow his example. I pondered this over for a week, before deciding to ask for advice on what exactly I should specialize in.

"Chakra Manipulation." He revealed.

I was not too adverse to this, for I could see the charm behind it. Ninja used chakra to enhance their daily moves, such as accurate throwing, speed boosting, silent steps and close ranged fighting. However, they usually used chakra control to help develop their ninjutsu, and for medical professions.

As a thief, I could easily think of a few things that I would have loved to have the use of Chakra to help with. Forgery, secret messages, lock-picking could all be done in a second with the right level of control. However, that was not how I planned to become the ruler of the Five Great Nations. Hence, I would have to build up my own style, unique to myself and unable to be copied by even a Sharingan.

That would be my personal test to myself, before I deemed myself as ready to start my plan. It was tough, but definitely not unachievable. Now if only if I could start perfecting my infiltration skills without this ugly-ass baby spitting its disgusting fluids all over me.

"Bleurgh!" Babies were gross, but I had to learn how to take care of my younger sister growing inside Kaa-san's womb, after all. Kaa-san had been constantly whining and groaning, then suddenly switching to being happy and craving for the strangest combination in the world. Radish and fishcake? Delicious, apparently. I feared heavily for my imouto's tastebuds.

Yes, the gender of my newest younger sibling was revealed with the help of a medic-nin, and I was excited to watch her grow. I had been an orphan my past life, then an only child when growing up. I wondered why Tou-san and Kaa-san wanted to wait until I graduated to continue procreating, but the only thing they did was to point at the stack of Academy Reports with a raised eyebrow.

Sometimes, I would put my ears to Kaa-san's stomach to listen to the gurgles and feel the kicks made by my imouto, it was all rather exciting the first few times, but after the fifteenth time of Kaa-san demanding that I bend down to listen to my imouto, a small breeze of leaves were the only thing left of me.

What I looked forward to the most, however, was her name. Kaa-san said that she would allow me to name the baby, and I was determined to find the best goddamn name I could think of. Perhaps Chusei Sagi, so that she would forever be loyal to her darling older sister? Or Kito Sagi, to carry on the female tradition of a K in our names? Hey, no one said we couldn't rip off the Kardashians in another universe, did they?

"Chibi-chan~ Guess who's getting Obstacle Course 10 if this vomit doesn't get cleaned up in 10 seconds?"

"Hai, Shisui-san!"

"Sigh, chibis these days have no respect for their elders…"

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Sixth Annual Student Report of Class 6A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend?), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (There's no more helping him now.)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 10

Height: 138cm

Weight: 29.5kg

Strengths: Speed, Kunoichi Classes, Chakra Control, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu

Traits:

Daredevil – With the help of an unknown teacher, Kiseki has fully mastered the shunshin and has repeatedly broken into many restricted areas within the Academy, with no way to prove her guilt as the only trail left behind was a pile of leaves and she claimed to be "only a plain civilian, sir." This instructor finds it hard to believe that sometimes. It may be due to her somehow gathering the clan kids together to follow her instructions instead of his with the addition of Sakura, a promising civilian student. This instructor doesn't want to teach anymore, but the Academy doesn't accept resignation letters, despite multiple pleads.

Kleptomaniac- Her "itchy palms" have come to a stop, which causes many instructors to feel threatened by the false sense of security she may be leading them into. The level of paranoia that her actions resulted in has led to some breaking and requesting for her to reveal what she is planning to steal next. Unsurprisingly, she did not admit to any of her past transgressions and would continue to "plead the fifth", although the fifth of what, this instructor does not know.

Perfectionist-Her 'perfect ninja' act has continued, and has now gathered the attention of multiple classes younger than her. A constant trail of ducklings (students) can be found following her around the courtyard, wowed by her 'amazing' speed and 'expert' throwing. It seems that Kiseki is planning to control the minds and outcomes of the pupils of the Academy, just like every shinobi out there, and hence this does not deserve much attention. However, this instructor is upset that his own superb shinobi skills had not been praised as much as his student's had been.

* * *

I missed the sound of Shikamaru's grumbling. With the preparation for my new baby sister, vigorous training sessions with Shisui and maintaining my business in the civilian district, I had completely neglected my favourite spiky-haired minion for the past month. Hence, I decided to honour him with my presence.

"The master of the house has arrived!" I proclaimed, as I revealed myself in the midst of the Nara family dinner. My reflexes helped me to dodge two kunais that immediately sailed towards my face, before narrowly escaping the Shadow ninjutsus from all three members of the family. "I'm glad to see that you have been working hard!"

A relieved sigh resounded as they recognized me without my cloak that slipped off while I was busy dodging their attacks. "Oh, it's you." Shikamaru sighed. "I should have known."

"Maru-chan! Is that any way to greet guests? Especially one that is your childhood friend!" Yoshino reprimanded, pointing the sharp end of her chopsticks at Shikamaru, only to be met with another pitiful groan.

"It's alright, Yoshino-san, I just wanted to see how he was. I'll be going now, bye!" And I shunshinned away, back to my own living room where a meal was waiting for me.

Back in the Nara Compound, Shikamaru suffered from a scolding from Yoshino about how he "didn't even give Kiseki-chan the time of the day when she spent so much effort to see you!" At the side, Shikaku chuckled at the sight of his son going through his first bout of puberty. After all, the first stage of falling in love was denial, just as how he experienced his first love himself. Yoshino was particularly violent about it, he recalled.

Shikaku received a kick in the knee and winced. She was still violent, even after all these years.

* * *

 _Omake- where everyone's character traits are overly exaggerated_

 **I'm really sad because I wrote this whole 300+ words omake on my phone and saved it in Document Manager but once I loaded it on the computer it disappeared and now I don't want to rewrite it. Whenever I try it just makes me angry because I know that I spent a long time to write those paragraphs and now my effort is gone just like that. Hence, I'm just going to upload this, sorry for the bad vibes :(**

 **Question of the chapter: If you could control a tailed beast for a day, what would you make them do?**

 **Answer of Previous Chapter: Definitely not a combat specialist, but I'll definitely delve into weapon making, since I like crafting and sharp objects!**

 **Thank you for your reviews, please tell me what you think about the story so far! If you have a little bit of time to spare, please favourite, follow and leave a review!**

 **Seeing as no one wants me to do anything to celebrate for 100 follows/reviews/favourites, I don't have anything to do so...yeah**


	19. Chapter 19

**xXSpades231Xx- Ah I agree that I should have added more fluff, maybe I'll make an edit when I'm free? As for Shisui and Kiseki... it's a surprise. *mysterious smile* If Shikamaru joined the Akatsuki, he would probably grouch alot, but also be one of the most trusted and higher-up ones there, though no one knows how. Kind of like Kakuzu, but not a miser.**

 **Insert Name- Ahhhh I feel really bad about uploading after like what, 4 days? It's just a constantly busy period, but I hope that this chapter was worth the wait! Thank you for your review once more!  
**

 **Hyochi Nagara- Thank you for your encouragement! I'll try my best to churn out more chapters whenever I can!**

 **Heart- I'm always pleasantly surprised by how thorough you are with your review! I'm sure that Itachi shared about his crazy student with Shisui one day, maybe I should make a short of it... Thank you, I hope you have a nice day too!**

 **Thank you everyone for your immense support in following this story, I hope that you enjoy this journey as much as I do:)**

 **I do not own Naruto, now on with the chapter! (fluff alert at the end)  
**

* * *

Shikamaru had enough. He was a genin now, 12 years old and a legal adult, capable of making his own decisions. Kaa-san was just too overbearing, she tried to dictate his life, she nagged him at every hour, and now she was trying to matchmake him with his secret crush without his agreement. Deciding on his plan against his mother, he marched downstairs to the sofa with a determined look on his face. His father watched him, knowng what was to come. His son had to break down after so long, after all.

Opening his mouth, Shikamaru glared at Kaa-san. "I'm going to apologise to Kiseki, Kaa-san." he announced resolutely. Yoshino squealed in happiness, hugging Shikamaru for "listening to me for once! I'll make your favourite onigiri tonight!~"

Shikaku chuckled. It was a male Nara's fate to bend to a female Nara's will, after all. He himself was a victim of such a curse, but he did not mind for he loved his wife dearly. He idly wondered if Kiseki would be joining the club one day. Even though she had lost to him in shogi, it was not uncommon to do so. He saw that her moves were strategic, always protecting the most important and never wanting to sacrifice an important piece to make a gamble.

Shikamaru just wanted all this to be over, but at least he got his favourite food from all the trouble he would have to go through in the coming future.

* * *

"Sorry for ignoring you the other time, Kaa-san got angry at me after you left and wanted me to apologise." A mutter suddenly popped up from beside me, when I was coming back from scavenging the genin library (I think the librarian is getting increasingly annoyed at the mysterious disappearance of scrolls).

"And?" I raised a single eyebrow. "You know what I'm talking about. Show them to me."

Shikamaru groaned, and verbally wondered when his plans had become so transparent. He lazily did a "come hither" motion with his wrist and a excited genin threw themselves onto me, causing the wind to be knocked right out of me. A familiar blonde hair and shrieking voice awakened my brain, and I instantly got up to claim my more official looking graceful image.

"And my teammate Ino is here to see you as well. You already know her, so there's no need to introduce you guys. Alright, have fun torturing Kiseki, Ino. Kiseki, I'll be sleeping on our hill when you're done." The monotonous voice directed at us grew fainter and fainter as the spiky haired genin walked away, most likely catching up on much needed rest.

A loud gasp caught my attention. Hands dramatically cupped her mouth and her eyes opened wide open, Ino looked like the definition of 'flabbergasted'. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Kiseki, what are you wearing?!"

"Just the same things I always wear? We always see each other in the Academy, Ino-chan."

"B-but what about your ninja outfit? You have to choose one, it's practically the rite of passage to becoming a kunoichi! Don't worry if you can't find one, Kiseki, mark my words, any senpai of Sasuke-kun will be the most well-dressed ninja in the world!"

With that, I found myself dragged along to put on a few hundred different outfits, and even Shikamaru was forced to come back to help me decide, since obviously I couldn't be bothered.

"You two share some distubingly similar characteristics..." Ino realised. "Anyways. Kiseki, here is the outfit that we have decided on for you!"

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Seventh Annual Student Report of Class 7A

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend?), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (His name will not be subject to be changed to Sasuke Sagi, no matter how many lawsuits the Uchiha files.)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 11

Height: 145cm

Weight: 32.3kg

Strengths: Speed, Kunoichi Classes, Chakra Control, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu

Traits:

Daredevil – Having given up on the stack of rejected resignation letters, the instructor has no choice but to try to contain the threat, by forcing Kiseki to stay in class the whole day and not commit any pranks. Kiseki had readily agreed much to this instructor's joy, but his happiness was very much shut down after he realised that Kiseki meant to stay in the classroom the whole day, including a sleepover. According to the Academy policies, no students are to be left alone in a classroom under 12. This instructor wonders if he produced enough Bunshin he could just head home and sleep off the madness that was Kiseki Sagi.

Kleptomaniac- Several stocks of different varieties have been refilled in the Academy inventory by an 'unknown' source. A letter that looked strikingly similar to a sample of Kiseki's handwriting wrote, "Thank you for your investment, may your ryo flow like a new river in the coming years." None of the instructors have remembered investments of any kind to be made by the Academy,a but are never less quite delighted by the cake that also 'mysteriously' appeared in the teacher's lounge.

Perfectionist- Surprisingly, Kiseki has made an active contribution to the school this year. Putting in a proposal for a school fair, she successfully organised the students, parents, teachers and events, resulting in a fun and enjoyable Academy Fair this year. Her leadership skills coupled with her charisma make her words powerful enough to be followed by adults and students alike, and for the first time, this instructor is proud to have taught such a student. Despite her previous behaviour, Kiseki has truly grown throughout the years to blossom into a highly promising student.

* * *

Kiski recalled when she accidentally fell down into a ditch when she was four, while on a secluded outdoor trip to the forest with her family. She had been attempting to find her way back from picking dry wood for the fire, but unfortunately the sun had set by then and it was dark, making it hard to see where she was going. Just as she saw a flicker of light, she excitedly called out for her birthgiver, before feeling her clumsy toddler body trip over and fall into an itchy, sharp pile of leaves. She tried to get up as she usually did, with two hands in front of her, but a black hole swallowed her in.

She fell while screaming her lungs out, thinking that she had accidentally found a hole to the centre of the earth, or a forgotten well. Thankfully, a slightly wet pile of rubble met her back, and the leaves from earlier managed to reduce any damage caused to her body.

Standing up, Kiseki started to panic. "Kaa!" She called out. She was not yet learned enough to communicate a distress signal, and regretted not paying enough attention to when they had attempted to push Japanese vocabulary into her brain. If she ever got out, she would never ignore her parents again.

A pang of despair hit her. How many children had gone missing recently in the woods? Posters upon posters had been put up around the neighbourhood, all from parents crying for help and ninjas unable to find them.

Would she become another one of them?

"Kaa! Tou!" She cried again, this time a bit more desperately. Now that she thought of it, chances were low that she could remove herself from the humongous hole. It was dug 10 feet in, and her family hadn't thought to bring a rope with them.

"-seki! Kiseki, where are you?"

A faint voice called out in the distance. Suddenly filled with hope, Kiseki immediately continued calling out for her saviours.

"Kaa! Tou! Here!"

It was a little sadistic game of Hide and Seek, she thought. Only that the hider didn't want to hide, but was forced to. Finally, two comforting figures loomed over her dreary makeshift prison cell.

"Kiseki, don't worry, hold on to this! My poor child, you must be so scared!"

I was struck with confusion. What could Kaa-san have on her that would be long and strong enough to pull me out?A familiar belt met my eyes. "Kaa" I gasped in shock. " _The whip_?"

It was brown and strong, made of the strongest hide of animals and threaded with precious metal. This whip was one of a kind, for my ancestors had been gifted with it for their kind services in protecting the village in war in their own civilian way. Kaa-san only wore it for special occasions, such as the lovely campfire in the woods that we were supposed to have tonight.

By holding me, I had no doubt that it would dramatically reduce in quality. Our family may have been rich, but this was worth millions, having been gifted by Senju Hashirama himself. I had no doubt that any mafia boss would immediately let go of his entire business for this.

Gulping a deep breath, I listened to my parents' encouragement. "Kiseki, you can do it! Wrap it around your wrist, and we'll pull you up!" Now began my struggle. As a 4 year old, I hardly expected myself to be able to pull myself up a huge height. At my first tug, I drew my hand back sharply at the rope burn that scalded my skin. However, I knew that if I wanted to be rescued, I had to pull this off.

And so I endured the hundreds of blisters that increasingly littered my skin, the screaming of my weak muscles protesting against the overly exhaustive exercise. Yet, my strong survival instinct had pushed me to go up, inch by inch, until I finally reached near the top and felt 2 pairs of arms grab different parts of my body to hoist me up.

I had never felt so tired in both my lives. Falling into a daze, I briefly entertained the sensation of wetness on my shoulders (Were they weeping with joy?) and robotically followed my parents back to camp. It was then that I was hit by sickness, and had to be rushed home to recover from an extremely high fever. For some reason, I had forgotten all about that incident until now. Yet, I knew that it was high time that I honour that promise, no matter how long I had delayed it.

Which was why I decided to bring up a suggestion to them over dinner, about a way to celebrate my day off from ninja training.

"Tou-san, Kaa-san. Would you like to go on a trip in a week? Outdoors, with an exciting campfire."

I knew that they had not expected me to remember when both of them snapped back their heads to look at me in shock.

Filling up in tears, Kaa-san's eyes sparkled in hope. "Wouldn't you be afraid, Kiseki? I understand the bad memories that plague your impression of these family trips, which was why you stopped coming with us in the first place. You're only twelve, you don't have to make that decision."

I smiled back warmly. Looking at the wall nearest my parents' room, I saw the now worn out whip that used to be proudly displayed at the front door in all its glory.

"Yes, Kaa-san. I'm quite sure."

It sounded quite poetic, going back to a place with bad memories to make good ones. It was the least that I could do to appreciate my parents' love for me, after all.

* * *

 _Omake- What did Ino choose for Kiseki?_

I stared in my outfit in horror.

"Ino...is this..."

The camera zooms out to the Itachi on the Hokage mountain.

"A bright green skin tight jumpsuit?"

Trying it on, I was suddenly hugged by a tall man in the exact same jumpsuit as me, just with a jonin vest on top and orange leg warmers.

"Ah, it's so good to see our Youthful genin embracing their Inner Green Beast!"

"Gai, get out of the girl's changing room!" Ino screamed.

* * *

My new outfit looked...kinda like what Cretin 1 usually wore, with the blue high-collared shirt and white shorts, with the Uchiha fan symbol on the back.

"Ino, I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to-"

Shikamaru took one look at me and turned green. Violently pushing me back into the changing room ("Alright next set!), he tossed me a random set, this time with a mesh shirt and a Nara clan symbol on a long cape. I was unsure of how to bind my parts in the mesh shirt, so I decided not to do so at all. I was pretty sure he had chosen it for himself, but I decided to go out of the changing room anyways.

Ino's jaw dropped. "Kiseki, I didn't know you already developed them! I'm so jealous, my daddy says that I'm a late bloomer!"

Shikamaru rapidly exited the room with a stammer that I couldn't make out, the tip of his ears and the back of his neck turning bright red.

"So...no?"

* * *

I looked down at my ninja outfit. Tears welled up in my eyes. "Thank you Ino... this is what I've always wanted to wear as a ninja!"

Ino gently slapped my shoulder. "That's your usual black bandage outfit stupid, I told you to go change back so that we could make our purchase."

"Oh."

* * *

 _Celebrating 100 follows! Kiseki and Shikamaru on the beach..._

Two preteens lay on a single colourful mat on top of the sandy beach, leaning into each other while listening to the waves crashing onto shore. They were on a weekend getaway, and their little "friendship trip" had been immediately approved of by both parents, even being sponsored quite generously by Kurutta Sagi.

They tried to ignore the evil cackles that came out of her mouth when she bade them goodbye a few hours ago.

It was rather awkward at first, as the two looked at each other and to the beach items with confusion with what they should do first. A huge umbrella, a few baskets, a dozen plastic bags filled with unknown goods, etc. Not wanting to think, Shikamaru went for the easiest course of action collapsed on the sand to relax in his usual cloudwatching position.

Kiseki, quickly following his lead, found that the mothers had conspired against them in only packing one mat for them to share. Not wanting to lower herself to receiving a sandy bottom, she laid out the mat, squeezed herself into Shikamaru's personal space and plopped her head on top of his stomach. It was a nice and soft stomach. She approved.

Looking up at him, she was surprised to see a faint redness across his cheeks, but immediately dismissed it as a natural result of the sun, and started to liberally apply sunscreen on the both of them. It was rather uncomfortable sometimes, but she managed.

She realised that there weren't any clouds in the sky, so Shikamaru's constant gazing at the sky must have been a result of him being uncomfortable. She decided to immediately rectify that fact. A minion should be loyal, comforting and reliable, among other traits. Making up her mind, Kiseki cuddled into his arms and felt him stiffen up before relaxing.

It was still tense, but much less uncomfortable than before. An hour had passed since then.

Wrapping her arms around Shikamaru's shoulders, Kiseki felt peaceful. Shikamaru looked so bony and lanky that everyone thought that he couldn't be such a good teddy bear, but _dammit, he was and no one could steal him away from her._ Removing one hand to stroke the soft ends of his ponytail, she looked at his carefree expression and casual position, knees propped on top of each other. Her knees joined the pile, entangling themselves in them.

 _prrr, prrr._ (The dogs on the beach looked both ways before crossing the beach. They had heard some strange rumours from the dogs of the Inuzuka clan, of an invisible cat that purred loudly often around the two kids.)

Nuzzling his head into hers, they gazed forward at the beautiful sunset together, taking in the vivid colours of red, orange, purple and pink. It would probably be a long time before they could enjoy such an experience together again. Birds flew, creating exciting silhouettes that brought the scenery to life. Kiseki wanted to ingrain this memory into her brain for life, to think of whenever she felt down.

A hesitant hand started to lace his fingers through hers, and she encouraged the motion, gently rubbing her thumbs against his index finger. She felt the leash around his wrist, where he always wore even though it could easily be taken off. It was a symbol of their friendship, and for him not to forget her.

Was it wrong to feel like she felt safe with him? Probably. Did she care? Not even a little bit. She listened to his chest. _Badump, badump, badump._ It was slow and comforting, to the point where she could feel her eyes closing against her will.

 _Badump, badump, badump._ If any of them were ever in trouble, the other would be there in a heartbeat. It was an intimate moment, and Kiseki was glad that she was able to share it with her closest friend/minion.

* * *

 **Hello, my dear readers~ Yes, after a few days I have finally found some time to sit down and write a chapter! Please tell me what you think about it? Are there any ways that I should tweak it to your liking? Do you like the elaboration into Kiseki's story? Plot hasn't progressed much, but hey have a fun little shopping trip!**

 **Thank you to everyone for all your support, especially those who have been continuously reviewing, I feel like I can always rely on your comments to move forward and try to finish this story. Having reached 40k words for this fic, I can proudly say that I have never written so much for a story before!  
**

 **If you have a little bit of time to spare, do leave a review, favourite, and/or follow! They are love, and really help to motivate and inspire me to write the next chapter~**

 **Question of the Chapter: Gai's Eternal Sunset Genjutsu or Infinite Tsukiyomi?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: I would probably ask them to let me ride them. I'm a really short person, so it would be amazing to tower over everyone else on top of a magnificent creature.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi guys guess who just got motivation to hurry up and finish? (just kidding, I drank a sugared drink and now I'm typing at the speed of light) (3 times 10 to the power of 8 hmmmmm)**

 **I recently reread my fic and I found that Kiseki's personality drastically changes in the chapter that I focused on the guy characters instead, so I will be slowly editing them to revert back into her original personality, which is not uh "smiles so bright and charisma can move thousands". That's Naruto's thing. Thank you so much to the Guest who reviewed this, I couldn't tell what was wrong with the fic until you told me.**

 **xXSpades231Xx- Thank you for your continued support!**

 **Insert Name- Hmm good point, but would that make Gai a Gary-Stu?**

 **Axeinaga- Muahahaha, Kiseki will NEVER show mercy!**

 **Guest- Thank you for the help! I'll try to see if I can make this a reverse harem, but we'll see** **Kiseki wasn't actually supposed to lose her sociopathic tendencies, which is why I'll do my best to incorporate it back in this chapter!**

 **On with the story!**

* * *

A few months had passed, and Shisui brought up something interesting in our training session debrief. "Chibi-chan, I heard that Itachi had assigned you a mission before he left to become a major asshole. Let's do it."

I couldn't _fathom_ why Shisui would think that I would delegate such an important and crucial task to a lowly peasant like him, no matter how useful and sadistic he may be. Nevertheless, I made a dramatic show of flinging my arms around to 'magically' produce the scroll, complete with a large pink bow in the middle.

Shisui stared at it, as if contemplating whether Itachi-sensei would actually wrap a goodbye mission so extravagantly. Fool, he cannot even imagine that I would make some changes to the scroll during my planning. Despite his confusion, he unwrapped the scroll and peered closely at the words, before a large and unsettling smile spread across his lips.

"Finding what's under Kakashi's mask huh? It'll take magic to do that." At this Shisui paused and looked up to me with that creepy facial expression still plastered on his face. "Good thing we chose that specialty, isn't it, Chibi-chan?"

I recalled the various chakra control exercises that he had been making me do lately and gasped. Pointing a finger right at the spot in between his eyes to make him cross-eyed for a second, I exclaimed, "You're trying to make me do telekinesis!"

Shisui slyly grinned. "And it's been working, haven't it?" He commented, tilting his head to the side. "We'll be able to see that face in no time. Now, let's stop dillydallying around, and come up with some tactics."

Firstly, I filled up a full profile of Hatake Kakashi, obtaining his records from the Academy and the Hokage's Tower. It wasn't easy, but possible after the months of training with my cloak in complete silence, making my movements flow as smoothly as possible.

Next, I henged myself into the target. Of course, with a henge, what you transform into is what you think the person looks like. As for Kakashi? I quickly concluded that his face couldn't have been abnormally shaped, for his paper thin mask would have revealed some sorts of odd lumps and bumps. That left disfigurement, facial defects, and insecurity.

I had my money on insecurity, being one who liked to hide in the shadows at all times and generally curl up in my cloak of darkness whenever something went wrong, but Shisui thought otherwise.

"It must be third-degree burns!" He conspired. A totally unrelated spar was instigated, where Shisui tried to use all fire techniques to defeat Kakashi, particularly aiming for his head to bring back some traumatic fire memories. Unfortunately, Kakashi thought that he was aiming for the book that he was reading, and became enraged to the point where he pulled up his slanted headband ("For the last time, it's a FOREHEAD PROTECTOR!").

I really needed to learn healing, for both Shisui's and my sake.

Unfortunately, if I took up healing I would be roped into doing hospital work more often, which I absolutely hated. Helping people? Bah, more like making them cower in my presence. They did not deserve the godlike touch of my hands, onto their unsanitary scum of a skin cell. Make Ino-chan do it instead, or maybe that pink haired girl.

Anyways, it was time to begin my strategies.

 _Plan A: Watching him shower._

Of course, I knew that showering was a very personal and intimate thing that should not be witnessed by strangers, thus I decided to make us _not_ strangers.

 _Step 1: Befriend the target_

"Hello, Hatake-san."

"Hello, random suspicious girl who waved at me on the street, definitely with no ulterior motives whatsoever in making my acquaintance. How are you?"

"Good, thank you! I'm just an innocent genin who has never trained under Itachi who had a burning desire to know what's under your mask, and instructed his one and only student to find out the secret behind your appearance."

"I can't imagine that. You? Possibly stalking me? Nah, have a good one, matey."

"You too!"

It was only after I walked back home that I figured that most ninjas did not say 'matey'. I seem to have just been put under a genjutsu of my desired outcome. Hmm…this just became a lot more interesting. At least he knows me now.

 _Step Two: Find out where he lives_

"So, Hatake-san, where do you live?"

"Here and there, no one ever knows. Why would you ask, my little inconspicuous genin?"

"Oh nothing, I'm just coincidentally hanging around where you always exit the Hokage's Tower at the exact same time that you pass by this path. Would you mind if I follow you home?"

"I would mind, thank you. Now, toodles!"

In a swirl of leaves, he disappeared, leaving me to curse at his inconsideration of my effort made to talk to him. He should be revering the time that I took out of my busy schedule to find out _his_ schedule just to coincidentally bump into him!

With this, I decided to bring in the help of my most loyal follower. Well, not Shikamaru since he was so troublesome, but I might know someone who would do just the trick.

"Kiseki-sama! What brings you here?" I was greeted with hearts punching its way out of Cretin 1's somehow bright but still black eyes. "Cretin 1, I need your help." Stars appeared along with the hearts as Cretin 1 visibly swelled up with pride.

"Anything!"

"Alright, I need to find out what is behind Hatake Kakashi's mask, and first we must find out where he lives. Being a master of stalking, I'm sure you can handle that?"

"Of course, anything for Kiseki-sama!"

Watching him rush off, I reflected on how he acted as if he were an overexcited puppy. Funny, I thought the Uchiha clan took after cats.

"You're cruel, you know. The Copy-nin will never let him find out where he resides."

"Shisui-san, I thought you promised to stop shunshinning behind me. Anyways, don't underestimate the powers of the Uchiha Hax Genes. They can defy the laws of the universe, don't you know?"

"Chibi-chan, I _am_ a Uchiha."

"So?"

"…"

A few days passed, and I spotted a Wild Sasuke running up to me with mud in his raven shaped hair, a twig on his collar and a random squirrel biting his shoe. Shisui looked at him in pity, but I would never pity someone who was inferior to me, so I merely tossed my head up with a flair and sneered.

"Information, Cretin 1?

"Upon stalking, sensei lives at the north-west side of Konoha, next to the shopping district."

Shisui could only stare after me with his mouth gaped so far open that several flies flew in and built a tent, a house and a picnic mat.

"How?"

"Uchiha Hax Genes, my dear Shisui."

Upon hearing the word 'dear', Cretin 1 suddenly turned towards Shisui with anger in his eyes. "Baka! Are _you_ stealing Kiseki-sama from me as well?"

"I'll have you know that the only one I belong to is _me_ , thank you very much. _All_ of you belong to me."

Both turned towards me with an expression of shock.

"What?" I asked as innocently as I could without madly cackling out loud.

 _Step Three: Spy on him in the shower._

Using my chakra-enhanced ear to hear the vibrations of the water against the floor, I knew that my target had started his long awaited activity. Showering.

Hence, I decided to slowly adjust my make-shift periscope, in the direction of his face. Then I jumped and screamed silently, for not only was no one there, I was also being lifted up by a gray haired shinobi with a towel around his waist and face.

So he showered with a towel on? No time to worry about that, it was time to escape now, before it was too lat-

"So you're a pervert, huh? I should have known."

Dang diddly doodles! It seemed that this seemingly inconsequential setback had actually revealed my top secret identity to my target, but my mission was not failed yet.

Wriggling out of his hands using an extremely fast Shunshin (bless you Shisui you were actually useful for once), I tipped the edge of a kunai against his artery. "Show me your face, and I will leave you alone."

"Maa, maa. Why so serious? If you wanted to see how I looked like, you should have just asked from the start."

Filled with suspicion, I watched him cautiously as he removed his mask. I had heard about Team 7's attempt at demasking their sensei, but this was actual flesh being revealed.

And…

Duck lips. Huge, swollen, red ones. I barely had time to shunshin home before I fainted.

Hatake Kakashi chuckled at the village's latest attempt, before dissolving his genjutsu to reveal...another mask.

* * *

Iruka Sensei's Eighth and Last Annual Student Report of Class 8A (Thank Kami.)

Name: Kiseki Sagi (Miracle Crook)

Affiliations: Shikamaru Nara (friend), Shino Aburame (friend), Ino Yamanaka (friend?), Chouji Akimichi (Sub-friend), Sasuke Uchiha (I'm so glad this batch is graduating, I don't think I can take this crazy kids anymore.)

Rank: Academy Student

Clan: None

Parents: Kokatsu Sagi, Kurutta Sagi (Yamada)

Kekkei Genkei: None

Blood Type: O+

Age: 12

Height: 149cm

Weight: 40.3kg

Strengths: Speed, Kunoichi Classes, Chakra Control, Shuriken Throwing

Weaknesses: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Possibly Genjutsu?

Traits:

Daredevil – Being a senior at the school has encouraged her self confidence even further, though her egotism has led to some losing previous respect for her. Pride comes before a fall, and Kiseki should do well to remember that, lest she be so overconfident that she falters in her movements. In order to resolve this issue, the instructor has tried focusing on her failures, results of which can be seen below under "Perfectionist".

Kleptomaniac- Kiseki has seemed to finally curb her stealing tendencies, though it has not been confirmed of yet. Items have stopped going missing in the Academy, though the ninja district has reported a few cases of items going missing and sufficient funds being left behind, which is not allowed in districts that are not civilian for the Ninja ID is required to purchase items. However, the problem is not happening in school, and thus the instructor is glad not to have to intervene for once.

Perfectionist- Upon being confronted with things that she is not up to par with, Kiseki seems to stress out very easily and lashes out at anyone who tries to help her, including her friend Shikamaru. It seems that she has a very importance sense of independence in resolving her own conflicts, which is not suitable for Konoha's 4-man team. To the next sensei of Kiseki, this instructor hopes that he or she will take this into consideration.

Teacher's note: Iruka Umino would first like to thank this class of students for being such a joy to teach. Secondly, for a completely different and unrelated reason, he hates children now. It was an even greater joy to stop having to say nice things and give constructive criticism to brats who do not care. With an ass wave and a flick of a nose booger, this instructor says good riddance. Love you all!

* * *

It was time for me to look into my stocks at the civilian market once more. As a civilian, I needed to know how to use my clan-less status to my advantage, instead of moaning over how I did not receive clan privileges. Hence, I decided that my first task as the Overlord of Konohagakure, was to monopolise the civilian market.

So far, I had invested in books, clothing and innovation, which had worked out well but was now taking up too much of my time for me to handle all of them at one time. I decided to let go of my inventions, letting whatever stocks I had make its own way to my account, but not putting in any further effort into it.

Upon knowing that Shisui liked my clothing brand, I knew that I had to exploit this secretly. He would never concede to my demands if I let it known that I was the owner of this line of fashion. Hence, I increased the price, along with the quality of the material to ensure that I used the finest threads, fit for royalty.

I couldn't do much with books either, hence I decided to slowly move my focus from books to the gossip in the civilian district. Firstly, I created the "newspaper", but called it an "information article" instead. It was meant to carry harmless civilian news, and upcoming Konoha events. This proved to be a fine investment, for it sold a thousand copies in one day.

There was simply no competition in the civilian market, for I was just so ahead of time compared to the rest of the aspiring inventors. As a ninja, I was able to henge into my previously used disguise, which took much less time than before, and thus my time management crisis was solved.

Finally, I could focus on more important stuff, like stalking Hatake-san for clues on his real appearance. When I told Shikamaru, he merely shook his head with a sigh, before face palming and face planting into his pillow. He must have been so amazed at my impressive skill that he could not help but faint, and of course I would not begrudge him for that.

Ah, life was good when you were Kiseki Sagi. Mostly good.

"Kiseki, have you packed for our camping trip?"

Until you were forced into submission by your ex-servant caregiver, that is.

* * *

 **Andddd that's a wrap! Thank you for your patience in waiting for a new chapter, I'm looking forward to your reviews! Do tell me whether you like the revert back to the first chapter's style of writing, and focusing mainly on plot. Perhaps you'll want me to add an omake here and there?**

 **Can you feel the love from me~ I hope everyone has a great day!**

 **Question of the Chapter: Which element do you want to be? Earth, Fire, Water or Wind?**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: Infinite Tsukiyomi, because at least then I can choose what I want my life to be like forever. Gai's genjutsu is just like FORCING SUNSET ONTO YOUR BEING FEEL THE YOUTH BURNING THROUGH YOUR SOUL LIKE THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY BEASTS and I'm all about doing whatever I want when I can so...**


	21. fillersrequests

**I don't have time to write a full chapter yet (I got 3 hours of sleep in the past 2 days yay me), so here's a filler dedicated to my dearest xXSpades231Xx since she likes Shino so much**

 **Insert Name- I won't be making the edits until I'm done with my exams, so there's no need to reread the earlier chapters, unless you're willing to be a dear and help me proofread the parts where she's horribly ooc 3**

 **I have a bunch of other omakes that I thought of, one is KisaIta( cute bromance omake), and two are Shikaseki(blind date au or Kiseki is done with his shit omake)** **which one should I write out first?**

 **(disclaimer: all are fluffier than the clouds Shikamaru watches)**

Shino silently watched as his female teammate ducked behind yet another tree, and merely observed. He did not pay attention to her embarrassing attempt at stealth, but instead focused onto the target at hand.

Her black hair swished in her small fluffy ponytail as she walked, mesmerizing both him and his kikai.

He could have watched forever, but Hintata decided to trip at that moment and literally crash into a signpost, before frantically ducking behind him to not get caught in her act of stalking. The target spun around at the loud noise, and a curve graced her already crooked lip.

"Causing trouble yet again, Shino?" she said under her breath, but her every whisper was heard by him.

Wordlessly, he raised one arm forward, and decided to show her a trick that he had originally been planning to show her on a special occasion, but he may as well do it now while he had her full attention.

She looked enraptured by the graceful dance of a few of his colony, as they formed various shapes and sizes before finally ending off their performance by congregating into a small, beating heart that fit perfectly in the palms of her hands.

It symbolised how he was willing to give his heart to Kiseki, and if accepted, she would bring the kikai heart close to her chest. If not, she would let it go.

Shino watched intensely with his black beady eyes on her reaction. She first stared in amazement at the kikai, and then tried to make to move her hands away from it, while still having her palms together.

Was she...testing him?

Complying to her silent request, he obeyed and urged his kikai to follow the trail of her hands, where they played a short game of cat and mouse, before she finally brought the heart close to her and smiled down at it.

This made his heart skip a beat.

"Thank you, Shino."

"Likewise, Kiseki-chan."

* * *

 **xXSpades231Xx- thank you for understanding! I managed to catch up on sleep a few days ago, so I nearly slept one day away haha**

 **Insert Name- Thank you for your support! Let me know if you want any particular scene between Kiseki and Shikamaru and I'll try to make it happen!**

 **Heart- I'm trying! I realised that it is quite weird to go back to my first chapter's writing of Kiseki's character, simply because of how much my idea for her story has changed! At first, I wanted her to be a loser that unconciously ruled the world, then I changed my mind to a dictator that was cunning enough to influence the people around her, then a normal ninja who sucked at ninja-ing.**

 **Guest- Thank you for your support, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

* * *

One day as we were lying on our hill watching the clouds pass by and I was stroking his soft hair as usual(it reminded me of a chinchilla's fur), I was struck by a thought.

Having visited (and been chased out of) the Nara compound several times, I realised that no two Naras looked the same, despite their common black spiky ponytail, colour schemes in clothing and lazy yet intelligent habits.

This brought me to scrutinize Shikamaru, scanning for his defining trait. There was a Nara with a special scar, a goatee, eyeliner but no one looked quite as basic as Shikamaru. He opened one eye blearily to look at me. "What?" He murmured.

For some reason, this sight made my eyes feel like twinkling as if I was a goddamn fairy, which I was not, thank you very much.

"What's your unique trait?" I questioned, making sure that I nudged him hard so that he didn't fall asleep while answering like he had many times beforehand.

"I'm a clan heir of the Nara clan" he replied in his usual bored tone. "And I like to sleep while watching clouds."

"But so does every single Nara? All of them are smart, unbelievably lazy, cloudwatching fanatics, shogi champions and laidback to an extreme. What's so special about you in particular?"

"I guess I'm special because I'm normal?" He looked a little confused while saying this, but I did not pay his expression any heed as I face palmed at his answer.

My hand ceased its movements. "So what you're saying is that," I deadpanned. "Your speciality is at not being special in the first place?"

"Yeah, I guess." He looked a little wary now.

"This is fucking bullshit, Nara. Come up with a better one. I did not just spend my brain cells on a mystery on how basic you are."

"Sorry, I guess?"

I shunshinned away, leaving a confused and grumpy looking Shikamaru alone on the hill with a pile of leaves in his face and zero head pats.

"Troublesome woman." Came a sigh.

* * *

 _In the Akatsuki headquarters, in the shared corridor of Itachi and Kisame. Itachi is unnaturally talkative about his belongings._

"Kisame-san. Come."

"What is it, Itachi?" Kisame had long gotten used to Itachi's strange quirks, but he never managed to figure all of them out. And also, they were usually bloody hilarious, like that one time when he found Konoha's newest addition to its Hokage Mountain.

" I have found a new gadget that will be beneficial to the Akatsuki's development. Please suggest your opinion on Leader's highest possible reaction."

And that was Itachi-talk for "Do you think Leader will like it?"

"Let me see."

As Itachi brandished the gleaming sharp weapon into Kisame's face, Kisame was shocked to see a bright yellow and pink sticker of a cartoon cat adorning the side of the earpiece.

"Is this...a Hello Kitty earpiece?"

"Yes, I felt that not only will it quicken our communication, the design would also serve deter any enemies from suspecting the gadget of suspicious activity, and let us cross any barrier we come across, as well as give us a possible diversion in case of kidnapping or a hostage situation."

"Itachi, this is _adorable_."

"Thank you Kisame-san, I pride myself on my penchant for obtaining adequately attractive possessions ."

"No, I mean-wait, you mean all your things are like this?"

"Yes, would you like to clarify your doubts about my belongings?"

Kisame found himself being led to Itachi's medicinal cabinet, and it opened with Itachi's sharingan to reveal a large array of weapons and ninja belongings, all with cute colours, some with cat ears like that cat headband ("Strictly for translating cat-speak, of course.") and pastel trackers, ("For keeping tabs on my foolish little brother.")

It struck Kisame that this was not just sharing a personal quirk, but a rather intimate look into Itachi's ninja items, which was one of the acts of trust that ninja shared to grow a closer bond.

He also did everything with a completely deadpanned look, so Kisame couldn't tell whether he was pulling his leg. Although, has Itachi ever cracked a joke?

(short thought here: what if Itachi never cracked a joke because he couldn't find one that had a 100% success rate like the rest of his plans?)

"Kisame, would you like one?"

Kisame gulped. If Itachi offered something, you better take it or he might inflict revenge through forcing it on you for the next year. Itachi's hand gestured to the cupboard with a slight tilt.

Kisame tried to pick the most normal and disposable one, which turned out to be a warm grey bag of chips. He didn't know how it was possible for a bag of chips to be silent, but of course Itachi owned it, he did have the Uchiha hax genes after all.

"Crunch." It was deliciously sweet, unlike the usual salty potato chip.

Itachi took one as well, and they turned to face the scenery from the window together while eating chips. It was the weirdest experience that Kisame had ever gone through by far, and he didn't exactly figure out how Itachi ticked from it, but he reflected that it was rather enjoyable.

Their bond had to grow closer if they wanted to survive in the coming war that they were going to start after all.

* * *

And...that's a wrap! Sorry for another short and sparse chapter, my schedule is spastic right now but good news, I'll most likely be going to the chunin exam next chapter! So yeah this story isn't on hiatus, I'm just slow and busy (a deadly combination).

 **Question of the chapter: Which anime would you not mind having as many episodes as Naruto?**

 **Answer of the previous chapter: Probably Earth, since I find the burrowing thing pretty cool. Imagine if you could casually go to a different country from just a jutsu!**

* * *

 **StephanieClara- Thank you for the review! I'm so happy that you liked the omake, are there anymore cute or silly things that you want to make the evil characters do?** **Insert Name- Humour? I've been thinking of how to incorporate humour into the story and it all goes back to Kiseki being- aha I won't spoil it. Sure, I'll definitely add in a few funny scenes at one go, I can think of 2 right now!** **Heart- Thank you for the review! As for Itachi and pastel, could you imagine Orochimaru with neon?** _~this~entire~story~is~just~one~big~filler~who~needs~plot~anyways~_

thank you everyone for 100 favourites! (right after I posted this it dropped to 9, how embarrassing...)

i have now reached my goal and thus will be going on an indefinite hiatu-just kidding!

I'm so happy about this and I don't know what to say because I've seen stories that I absolutely LOVED but didn't manage to get that much attention in less than two months

Hence, since I don't really have time to write (explanation below), here are some of the si/oc stories that I found while browsing for inspiration on Kiseki that are very much underappreciated.

None above 100 favourites, all are complete and well-written! Please enjoy them while you wait, and hopefully they'll reach 100 as well with your reads!

 _~these~ideas~may~or~may~not~have~been~stolen~by~me~_

 **1\. How Many Colors** (49 favourites)

This is a Deidara X OC story about a little eccentric but nice girl (Kaminari) who yearns for knowledge about the world outside Chouwa, and Deidara's main clay suppliers include a little shop in the village. However, the village found out about his crimes and tried to shun him, and when Kaminari rescued him, her as well.

As I write this, I notice that it has yet to reach 50 favourites which I feel is RIDICULOUS because it is so amazingly written (my summary sucks), and it is just a OC insert that can rarely be found among all the Mary Sues, crack, and angst. (ahem)

 **2\. Life 199 : Love Me Fool** (19 favourites)

This is a short little exerpt of a person who constantly reincarnates into different characters in different universes until they reached a point in which they simply do not care for the kind of life they lead. Gone are the Mary-Sues, only the manipulative remains. This particular life is in the viewpoint of Sasuke, who manipulates his aneki into doing whatever he wanted him to do for him, until it doesn't seem that cute anymore.

I simply ADORE this because of how gradual the wrongness comes to you, until you don't even realise that Sasuke is not as loving as he seems. No spoilers, go read it!

 **3\. By Chance** (90 favourites)

This is a Shisui X OC fanfic, I think it's part of a 100 word per chapter challenge, and it's about a girl who moved into Konoha and gets noticed by a certain Uchiha, before their relationship develops from there.

I think that this is a really charming story, especially with the short and sweet chapters that invoke so many emotions into oneself, I really recommend all those searching for a short and deep story to read this!

 **4\. The Sun that Shines Through the Leaves** (87 favourites)

This is a Itachi X OC fanfic, it takes place in the corporate world (I love business AUs) and Komorebi is a secretary who finds a strange charm in her work and her mysterious boss.

Again, this is simply SO good and just read it, I have no words. I was hooked and couldn't stop reading until I finished it!

5\. **Number Eleven** (60 favourites)

This story is about Chiyo's 11th puppet that she breathed human life into with the justsu, and gave to Sasori as a present before he became a missing-nin. Number Eleven is tasked to become friends with Sasori since he's always so lonely, and the two form a close friendship until he becomes a missing-nin, and Number Eleven is conflicted about her humanity or the lack of it.

All my summaries are so boring but this is honestly such a good fic, it's a very well written and interesting idea about a puppet being the only one to win over the heart of another puppet, and I was so intrigued throughout my entire time of reading it.

6\. **Deduction in Shadows**

This can only be found in archiveofourown sadly, but it's such a good story between Shikamaru and a OC, it's better than ANY that I've found on this site! This OC used to be the daughter of Sherlock Holmes in her past life, and hence is really smart now and is intellectually on par with Shikamaru. She struggles with finding her past identity and keeping it from everyone, but luckily the Nara family takes her in from the start.

(I love the Naras, can you tell)

This is such a mature and well thoughtout story, I even downloaded it onto my phone so I could read it without using up too much data! It's pretty long (800 pages) but it's great if you're looking for a good long book:)

 _~johnnyjohnny~yespapa~eatingsugar~nopapa~tellinglies~nopapa~openyourmouth~*vapecomesout*~_

For anyone interested in my uploading schedule:

Today, as I'm writing this, is 7 September 2018 and I will be doing my national exams starting 9 October - 16 Nov.

I only have a month until then, and right now it has been a complete whirlwind of mock papers, remedial classes and crippling homework, so it's like the moment I check again, nearly a week has passed and I'm **sh00ked**

Hence, I will try to keep yall interested with little shorts instead of the actual plot I promised yall last chapter, next upload is estimated to be next weekend earliest!

If you want more recommendations, feel free to look through my favourited stories! I usually favourite those that make me feel a bit emotional, or just have a cute pairing, or are just too damn fantastic to _not_ favourite.

Thank you everyone for your support, and sticking with me throughout this mess of a schedule I have! I've noticed that a few of you silent readers have started to review, and I'll like to encourage yall to continue! Reviews are LOVE (even though favourite is a heart) and it always makes me happy when I see a new one!

 _~I'm~writing~this~on~my~phone~help~no~horizontal~lines~_

 **Question of the Chapter(kind of chapter): What's your absolute HATED pairing with Naruto in it?** **Answer of the Previous Chapter: I watch Hetalia a lot, and I'm still waiting for a season 7 so I'll choose that!**

 **I suddenly got a flurry of reviews on this recent update that I think was a bug of some sort since all of them were in completely different languages and mentioned something about ao3 being attacked? so I mushed it all into chapter 21, hopefully it'll sort it out**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi guys, Jeye here, back with a fresh 5k chapter! Yup, as I'm only able to write in very sparse periods, this chapter spread out to the point where I hadn't even realized how far I had written!**

 **Thank you to all my silent readers, reviewers, favouritors, followers, add to community-ers, I hope that you guys will enjoy this chapter! (even though I'm so bad at writing fight scenes ahhh)**

 **I do not own Naruto at all but damn do I want to own Shikamaru**

* * *

"So," my teacher of 4 months instructed.(He decided to grow it out to tie a manbun, which he saw in the civilian magazines, published secretly by me). "Show me your moves one last time and we can wrap up today's practice."

I nodded determinedly, falling back into my stance while I felt my muscles internally screaming at the had been a tough few months of training, and I was pushed beyond my limits each and every single practice, especially this one.

They usually consisted of mainly evasion, with Shisui throwing weapons, genjutsus, ninjustus and every other attack you could think of. (While cackling madly at the top of his lungs with a "Yes! I've never had so much fun before!") Like the wind, I danced with the shadows, hiding behind my billowing cloak and shot out genjutsus like no other in an attempt to trick Shisui.

At first, it was a sad attempt. Then, I got better (finally) and managed to get a few hits each practice. I learnt how to save my chakra for the ending blow, how to blend into the most vibrant or dull of places. He passed on his famed skill of the Shunshin, though I was definitely not at his level yet. He was a jounin after all. I knew that he still held himself back when we trained, but I have a right to be god damn proud of managing to knock out the Shunshin no Shisui with my current skill. I definitely surpassed the Genin skill level.

My favourite jutsu that I had learned was Terekineshisu, (Japanese for Telekinesis) because it was the _cooles_ _t_ and most _useful_ thing by far. Although I could only control the movements of two objects at once so far, and they had to provide little to no resistance as I did it for them to move, but it quickly found many uses in my everyday life. Have you ever found that remote control inches away from your finger tips on a particularly lazy day and wanted nothing more but for it to move a few inches towards you? Yeah, it was the _best_ in those kinds of situations.

I flung out a fast flurry of a mixture of senbon and shuriken towards him, a few spiralling majestically into a nearby tree to spell KI-SE-KI just to bug him. I could practically _feel_ the eyes rolling from Shisui, so I threw another weapon in that direction. A ninja should always follow their gut feeling after all.

As my last attack, I used the Shunshin to sprint rapidly from tree to tree and planted subtle genjutsus all over the place, such that Shisui wouldn't be able to see me if I was standing right in front of him. A snort came from behind me, a breathless "Kai!" and I knew that I had him. Layered Genjutsu had taken an annoyingly MASSIVE amount of my time to figure out, but the Sharingan helped to put me into a Tsukiyomi so that I could practise for for 3 days in 3 seconds. The perks of having a Uchiha sharing his Hax Genes Abilities was truly amazing.

Unfortunately, this also meant that my birthday was pushed forward by a few months, but let us not think about that for a while. (Kaa-san cried for 2 days straight when I revealed that particular fact, before using her brilliant merchant mathematics skills to figure out the _exact_ date of my new birthday, 27 July.)

At the end of my extremely gruelling practice and debrief session, (sometimes I preferred the training over the horrible, soul-sucking debriefs because Shisui was sadistic sensei and no one could convince my otherwise), I was presented with a perfectly normal looking slip of paper. My interest was immediately aroused at this.

"I entered you in with two other Chunin wannabes from the genin corps. You'll be expected to carry the team, so do me proud, chibi-chan." A bright gleaming smile was flashed towards me, nearly burning my eyebrows off with the intensity of his sparkle. I swore under my breath as I ducked, _I will learn that jutsu one day_.

A thought hit me. Wait, what? I stared curiously at the slip, which read "Registration Form for Chunin Exams". The gears in my slowly decreasing brain cells started to turn and a maniacal grin overtook my crooked lips, making Shisui unconsciously back away upon recognising the look.

He should have backed away a lot more.

"Yes!" Using the last of my chakra (which was a lot seeing as I used genjutsu as my main weapon, a relatively low-chakra technique), I screamed out a victorious war cry and covered the entire training field with a genjutsu of loud and colourful fireworks, the intense cheering of people and many backflipping ninjas in the background.

I decided not to release Shisui from the genjutsu and left him and his gaping mouth in the middle of Training Grouds 32 until he dispelled it himself. He couldn't escape for a few hours, even with his Sharingan.

Coincidentally, a few genins were almost reported as missing after going to a training ground to retrieve a lost item.

* * *

There it was. The building in which I would be participating in the first portion of the Chunin exams. My feet naturally led me into the building, padding its way to the second floor. As I tried going to the third floor together with my two shadows(teammates), two very familiar guards obstructed my way. Unfortunately, I never bothered to learn their names so I pretended that I didn't know who they were, and we were stuck.

"Please let us through!" A female voice pleaded from the staircase. A Konoha genin with two buns on top of her head was flanked by Neji and a strange green guy with a bowl haircut. I think I recalled the brief passing of a similar, bigger version of him running past me on his hands earlier. I shuddered at the memory, thinking of that sparkle that headed towards _me_ in particular.

I watched quietly from a distance, and motioned for my teammates to do the same. Naturally, they listened to me, as expected of future worshippers of the great Kiseki-sama. Hidden in the shadows (That sounds like a great name for a village if I ever founded one), I spotted the two Cretins and Pink Haired Girl manage to stir up a fight with the first team and the Green Bowl Haircut Boy fighting Cretin 1 for Pink Haired Girl.

Smiling, I proceeded up the stairs stealthily while the guards were distracted and blended into the shadows of the mingling crowd. If Cretin 1 had an obsession with someone other than me, who was I to protest?

Sasuke Uchiha felt an ominous emotion, and his distraction led to him being kicked in the face by a certain Green Beast.

I waited and listened in to the crucially important conversations by the prospective chunins, the protectors of their country.

"So, what did you have for breakfast yesterday dude?"

"Eggs, dude. They were so good I think I'm gonna eat more."

"Can you two shut up, I'm trying to read here!"

"The registration slip is upside down, dumbass."

I turned my attention to another team.

"As I said, my religion consists of a cat, a haystack and an annual sacrifice of the best meal you've ever eaten. Are you sure you don't want to join?"

"Hell no, I'm allergic!"

"To haystacks?"

I shrugged and tilted my ear into the direction of yet another conversation. It was at this point where I realised that I should start putting little tracking jutsus on everyone assembled, with their general inattentiveness. I silently motioned to Shino to help me with his kikai. He readily nodded and the insects marched out of his fingers in a straight row of kikai soldiers. Cute.

"I'm so sorry, Yunara-chan, I didn't know!"

"Save it, Toku-kun. I always knew you were a lying, cheap, shank."

It was at this point in which Team Cretin and Team Neji ran in, and began shouting about Hokages and Youth. The clan kids my age began to crowd around them, and discreetly joined, while nodding to Shikamaru and Shino as a form of greeting. Unfortunately, this meant that other people caught sight of me as well.

"Kiseki-sama!" "Kiseki-san!" Two voices chorused.

The two raven haired males turned to glare at each other. I noticed Cretin 1 somehow do a dramatic switch from "brood and angst" to "ashdfkfj aaa kiseki-sama (in all caps)" within the blink of an eye.

"ASHDFKFJ AAA KISEKI-SAMA!"

I warily took a step back, and felt a mysterious chill pass over me. Turning my head, I caught sight of a pleasant looking grey-haired genin from Konoha, who suspiciously didn't seem to have a kikai on him. Making eye contact with Shino, I was notified that the shinobi had instantly killed the bug upon landing.

This person was definitely NOT a genin level ninja, and his silver tongued words did not make me trust him at all.

Nevertheless, after a sharp comment by Ibiki-san to either stop fighting or be disqualified, we headed into the venue for our first exam.

I'll be honest, the rules were extremely strange. "No cheating obviously more than five times, no communicating with your teammates, no blah blah blah." I scorned whoever who set this stupid exam and flipped the page with a loud _Szz_.

The questions were stupid hard, but I knew that I could do it. (What was all that Academy studying for, if not for this?) Using my telekinesis jutsu, I directed my still teammates' hands into writing what they had to write while finishing up my own paper. A quick look at the Nara in front of me showed that he was already done and sleeping soundly on his paper. Typical smartass.

Following suit, I gently placed my own head upon my crossed arms. Immediately after doing so, Ibiki shouted for everyone to stop, making me have to sit up again and my head groaned from the rapid change of motion. Rude, couldn't he see that I was resting?

"It is now time for the tenth question. If you can answer the question, you pass the first round. If not, you will be banned from taking this and any other Chunin Exams forever! If you raise your hand, the entire team will be disqualified and you can leave!"

How very interesting. It would definitely be a hassle if I could not be promoted through the Chunin exams in the case that I fail this question. Though, I was confident of my ability to answer the question and direct my teammates' answers once more. I heard a loud shout. Swiveling my head towards the back of the room, I observed how Cretin 2 created a huge commotion _again_ and now all of us pass. Whoop.

CRASH! A female, purple-haired shinobi smashed through the window, glass and all, making every genin (except Team Cretin) raise their weapons defensively. I think Shisui would enjoy her company, they seemed to have the same level of crazy. (Shisui sneezed, from the jounin lounge.)

"-Alright brats, it is time to head to the Forest of Death!"

For some reason, my inattentiveness caused me to tune out during her briefing. Oh well, my shadows probably knew the instructions well. Feeling them grab one of my arms each and doing a Shunshin, I felt pretty glad that they were from the Genin Corps, as I found that they knew their way around Konoha blindfolded much more clearly than me.

We arrived in front of a silver gate and Anko-san gave her "You're gonna die" speech while passing out waiver forms. I shared a exasperated look with my shadows and continued to listen to her ramble about the rules.

Jumping forward to grab a scroll, I realised that one of them had a tiny black mark on it. I didn't take it, just in case it was a fake scroll and instead chose the scroll all the way to the right. Team Cretin chose the one with the black mark, for some unknown reason.

It was time to start the second stage of the Chunin Exams and I couldn't be more excited.

* * *

In the Forest of Death, my first thought was nothing. Blank. The dense canopy that covered the overhead scenery and the suspicious sounds of wild animals and monsters filled the air, with little rustles in the leaves caused by seemingly nothing. It would be a beautiful sight if not for the yellow flesh-eating flies that were buzzing dangerously close to our gate.

The view panned over a very narrow clearing, and it was clear to me how the plan was to proceed. First, we would gain some height advantage to see what was going on, preferably the tallest in the forest. Next we could start heading towards the centre(and maybe lookout for stray scrolls). Lastly, we would find ourselves right outside the Tower and pick off any stray weak genin and redirect them with genjutsus towards the forest.

As it was pretty clear that I was the main leader of the team, my two shadows had to carry it. Atsuko and uhhh Hiro? I furled up a random piece of paper in my bag and tried my best to make it look like the scroll, before handing one to each of them. The dud crumpled instantly, but they didn't seem to care. Good.

Our plan was discussed thoroughly (I dictated the entire thing) and we decided to finish not too early or late, so our first order of business was to scout out our sustenance. Namely cute bunnies and non-poisonous berries that I had no idea how to find.

Well aren't we off to a great start.

* * *

On the first day, we came face to face with a giant caterpillar that seemed to be undergoing a lot of pain as it moulted while lashing out at all of us. Thankfully, it became a perfect docile angel once it finished moulting, and happily let us go. Our camp consisted of a hammock of leaves between the trees, as we tried concealing ourselves within the overhead canopy of the forest. Alas, our idea clearly failed as we awoke to a curious leopard chewing on our bags. I screamed while flinging my knives at it while my teammates retrieved the bags.

On the second day, we found an Earth Scroll lying about covered in saliva. It wasn't what we needed but I instructed a shadow to take it anyways. (Did you think _I_ would lower myself to do it? Also, what was it with our team and saliva?) Sadly, we only encountered Team Oboki who was injured by another team and had their scroll taken away. I kicked their groaning bodies for good measure and looted their supplies (mm non-poisonous berries tasted good, also was that fish?).

On the third day, we succeeded in reaching the tower, easily dispelling the genjutsu once the shadows behind the trees had gone missing. Patiently camping outside the door while concealed, we saw Team 8 hobbling their way to the door and took pity on Shino. (He looked exhausted, his face streaked with dirt and hands bloodied.)

However, we bore no such empathy towards another two-man team from Grass, and promptly snatched both scrolls and supplies from them after a quick fight that was very much one-sided seeing as one of them was drugged heavily and the other was dead on her feet from carrying the team. Throughout the fight, she constantly complained about her teammate acting weird and disappearing throughout the second exam. Huh. Not interested, sorry.

Entering the building with four scrolls, Atsuko and Hiro figured out the secret meaning behind the writing on the wall. They had been useful so far, so I firmly patted them on the head with promises of making them my bodyguards when I became the ruler of the universe. They nodded, Hiro a bit incredulously. Opening four scrolls at once was a bit of a hassle, and I had to use my feet to spread the last one. In a puff of smoke, Shisui-sensei emerged and I jumped back upon feeling his curly mass of hair beneath my mud-soaked ninja sandals.

Knowing what I had almost done, he gave me an offended look before sniffing the air delicately. The stench came from Atsuko, of course. I looked back at him blankly with a single eyebrow raised. "Well, so what are you here for?" I really wanted that shower quick.

"How rude!" Shisui clasped his hands to his chest dramatically as his eyes rolled back in a fake faint. "And here I was, planning to tell you that you passed the second exam! You wound me greatly, chibi-chan!" He then caught sight of the four scrolls on the floor instead of two, and gave us a proud smile. "I knew you could do it, Atachi-kun and Hisoro-kun!" Oh, so those were their names.

Finally calming down, Shisui began reading the instructions that he was supposed to give off his right palm. Technically, we weren't allowed to go back and come in without two more scrolls for food and water, but due to the special case of retrieving four scrolls in the forest instead of two, we got a free pass. However, due to the 3 teams that we looted for supplies, we had plenty of food to eat and had no need for it.

When he finished his briefing, Shisui vanished once more in a puff of smoke and we made our way to the corridor of rooms. The first one smelled strongly of the pungent stench of blood. The second smelled like water. The third smelled like dogs, and so on. Our room was positioned right in the centre of the corridor, and we entered our haven for the next two days.

I had originally planned to shower and then take a brief nap to refresh, but my teammates ended up having to shake me awake for the next round of the Chunin exams.

"As too many of you had passed, we will need to cut down the numbers using Preliminary Rounds. If any of you would like to forfeit, please do so now." What. After all of that, they actually expected someone to forfeit? It was an honour to have made it all the way to the third round, and it would be idiotic to-

The gray-haired shinobi from earlier forfeited, a strange glint in his kind eyes as he bullshitted the flimsiest excuse about him being too weak to continue, making several genins stare at his healthy form incredulously.

Well then, so be it, idiot.

Thankfully, no one else decided to forfeit and we were herded into a stadium to anxiously wait to be matched up against our preliminary opponent. Except Shikamaru, he kinda just half-napped on the railing.

* * *

Firstly, Cretin 1 fought against a Sound Shinobi. Upon somehow detecting my gaze upon him, he narrowed in onto my ant-like figure (with the help of his Hax Genes) and shouted, "This battle is for you, Kiseki-sama!" The proctor snapped at him in impatience, and began the match. As the fight progressed, I observed that his movements were even more haphazard than usual, and it was clear that he was trying not to use his chakra. Was he trying to challenge himself to beat the shinobi without chakra? It was interesting, but not very entertaining.

In the end, Cretin 1 won, but barely. His crazed grin as he limped his way towards me made me think that he had become even weirder than usual in our separation after the Academy. I spotted a strange mark receding on his neck, and quickly concluded that it was a seal. What was he doing with one? Was he-

A bandaged arm shot out and trapped me against the railing, and a tongue licked his teeth.

"Did you enjoy the match, Kiseki-sama?" His eyes gleamed with the Sharingan activated, making me mesmerized by the spinning of the tomoe. He tried to lean closer, but I snapped to my senses and pushed him away.

"It was okay, Cretin 1." For some reason, these words only served to fuel the intensity of his gaze, which made me uncomfortable. Just as he was about to try to corner me again, a familiar silver-haired shinobi snatched him away and ran into the distance, before doing a shunshin and leaving a gust of foliage behind.

Wait. Was that Kakashi?

Damn, I missed my chance to attempt to take off his mask. No matter, it was time for Shino's match.

I watched this fight with apprehension, having never watched his kikai in action before in the Academy. Actually, now that I came to think of it, I think I had cut off contact with a lot of people ever since I started training. Perhaps I should-

At this point, Shino's figure exploded into kikai, revealing that it had been a clone all along. Could a master kikai control the other kikai? A kikai clone didn't make sense, because the insects were not meant to have such complex minds and it would be difficult to strategise unless they were directly receiving information from Shino himself. They died after a few hours, so there was no way that the clone could have been present for long. Was Shino himself perhaps just one huge mother kikai?

This was when I realized that Shino had cleverly made use of the Kawarami at one point of the match when he observed that his opponent was caught up in boasting, and now his kikai had successfully infiltrated his opponent's wounded arm. Smart move, I approved. With a glint in my eye, I saved this in my memory to steal for later.

As the crowd cheered at Shino's clear victory, I flashed him a thumbs up when he looked towards me. He had no change of expression other than a slight tilt to his lips, but I caught it all the same.

As the clapping died down, the next match came. There weren't anyone that I knew but the one with the puppets won. Ino-chan's and Pink Haired Girl's match was too disappointing to even mention, as to me they failed at showcasing their abilities by a long shot. Seriously, dramatically chopping off a ponytail was way more underwhelming than punching someone in the face. Not only that, none of them got into the third round as a result of their stupidity and pride.

The girl with the two buns from the start of the exam went next, with her opponent being a sand genin with 4 spiky ponytails. I quickly looked towards Shikamaru, scared of the possibility that spiky ponytails were his kink and I might lose him to her. Thankfully, he only sighed in his sleep while murmuring "Troublesome..." Perhaps I should start tying my hair into a spiky ponytail as well?

I narrowed my eyes at the wind-user, Temari. She gave the Konoha genin quite the unnecessary beatdown, most likely to cater to the Kazekage's chunin requirements. Not all hidden villages were as polite as the Leaf, after all.

Then, two names flashed on the screen. Kiseki Sagi VS Hisoro Taka

Hisoro...Hisoro… Hold on, I recognised that name from somewhere, right?

Jumping onto the arena, I surveyed my opponent, who turned out to be one of the shadows that followed me around during the second round. I pointed a finger straight at him.

"Wait a minute, you're not Hisoro! You're Hiro!" Hiro sweat dropped. So did the proctor and many ninjas on the stands. I had no idea why, but it was probably because of what I said.

"My name is Hisoro, Kiseki-chan. I'm your teammate, remember?"

"Not really. Let's fight anyways!"

Another round of sweat drops filled the stadium, and the also sweat dropping proctor called our match to start.

Immediately breaking out multiple genjutsus, I filled the arena with light feathers that would make Hisoro sleep if he touched one, and to my surprise, he managed to escape each and every one of them, while throwing weapons at me. How impressive, but he would be no match for the great Kiseki-sama!

I threw my kunai at him, which all missed the target and left him smug-looking, but I wasn't done yet. I kept throwing kunai and senbon, he kept dodging and displaying his proficiency at weapons throwing by slicing through my sandals, my clothes, as well as shaving off a little part of my bicep when I failed to dodge in time. I cried out in pain, making the audience on the stands started to murmur and gossip within themselves, wondering how I managed to proceed even with such dismal throwing.

Nevertheless, I always got up, gritted my teeth and smirked, my crooked lip tilted to one side. As a final display of my strength, I threw the weapons once more, which managed to pin him to the weapons behind him. Turning his head, Hiro quickly realized that all the badly thrown weapons, had actually been precisely thrown to the point in which they lined up neatly on the wall and said "Hi-Ro", "has" and "lost". Hiro's body had helped to form the word 'lost'.

The crowd burst into cheers, discovering my plan, but I was not done yet. Walking up to him pridefully, I smiled at Hiro. "You can change back now." I reassured. The audience started to shout questions of confusion, wondering what on earth was going on.

In a puff of smoke, 'Hiro' turned into my clone (who waved to the crowd), and I dispelled another genjutsu behind him to reveal to everyone the concealed Hiro who had been there since the beginning of the match, tied up and gagged with ninja wire.

"While you were claiming to be Hisoro (There were a few coughs, there must have been a sickness going around), I managed to quickly move and conceal you into a genjutsu while speaking to my clone instead. I'm sorry for not allowing you to showcase your talent, but I was clearly superior in this match. Do you forfeit this match, Hiro?"

The crowd went wild, as Hiro conceded defeat. I gave a huge smirk towards the Kage Box, and gave a dramatic bow, waiting for the cheering to finish. When it did, I went back to my place (leaving Hiro tied up and defenseless in front of everyone) , and Shikamaru dropped his head on my lap, expecting a hair pat.

It was really too bad that he was next, fighting against a girl from Sound.

"Ugh, troublesome."

The next few matches passed with pretty straightforward matches and results, and I was uninterested until it came to a certain red haired shinobi who controlled the sand. I pondered over calling him "The Sandman" but something inside me violently protested against it. Oh well, the Sandman was producing a large amount of killing intent towards his opponent. And... he's crippled.

Huh, that was a quick match. I know we signed the waivers, but I hadn't actually expected anyone to get injured to the point where they couldn't continue as a shinobi. No matter how ugly that bowl-haircut looked, he probably didn't deserve to have to suffer from such a bone shattering attack. It was a miracle how he was still alive, really.

Choji won his match with a great amount of confidence, and I was proud of him. I think even Shikamaru opened his eyes for this match, since Choji was his best friend. I felt the green eyed monster peek through, but I beat it down with a stick. Shikamaru was my minion, after all.

After a brief period of celebration, the proctor started to announce the match up for the final round.

Round 1:( In Kiseki Language)

Cretin 2 VS Neji (He had been particularly vicious towards his mousey cousin)

Sandman VS Cretin 1

A Random Mist-nin (He beat Atsuko, poor child) VS Me

Puppet guy VS Shino

Temari with the dangerous hairstyle VS Shikamaru

I narrowed my eyes once more at that last matchup. This sounded impossibly cliché, and I must save Shikamaru from the possibility of having a spiky-haired family. No porcupine children, thank you very much. I began plotting on how to remove Temari from Shikamaru's mind forever. T&I? They would never help me. Hire an assassin to kill her? Costly, but manageable. Alright,-

"Stop plotting, Kiseki."

"Shikamaru, don't ever get attracted to someone because of their hair." He didn't even blink at this statement. Instead, he shot a retort right back. "That's what _you_ do whenever you look for a suitable armrest."

"It's different, arm rests are not love interests." Upon somehow hearing this from his seat in the hospital while visiting his injured teammate, a certain favourite armrest stilled. Could it be? His smooth hair did not help him to gain her affection? Devastated, tears began to fall from his eyes, for his world had just been turned upside down. Tenten awoke to the sound of him crying and cooed at his emotional devastation upon her injury. Perhaps there was hope for this emotionally stunted boy after all!

"So what are you going to do during the one month of training?"

"Training with Shisui, probably. You?"

"Maybe shogi with my old man, I'm too tired to do anything else honestly."

We walked to the hospital to visit our injured friends, arms swinging and occasionally touching.

And thus began my month of preparation for the third round of the Chunin Exams.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap! Whew, I think I spent way too long on this today, but I'm glad that I can finally push out another chapter and stop with the constant omake oneshots. Another chapter like this probably won't be coming for a long time, but please follow this story if you want to be updated when I continue writing after my November exams!**

 **Thank you all for over a hundred reviews, favourites, follows and** **for reading this chapter! If you liked it, please favourite, follow or review? They are LOVE and really help to keep me going!**

 **Question of the Chapter: If you could have anyone as your sensei, who would it be? Yes, including the Kages, Clan Heads, etc.**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: I hate Naruto x Kakashi pairings, not solely because of the age difference. They just seem wrong for each other, so usually either one of them will turn OOC**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi guys, I'm back and ready to complete this story!**

 **Now let's just jump straight into it~**

I have a wind affinity. I'm sure of it. I looked down at the once whole pieces of paper stuck in my fingers, blood dripping out of the cuts it had caused. Shisui gave a wide grin.

"Well, that has never happened before."

* * *

I was on a mission to find a new teacher, for more expert training for the Chunin Exams. Unfortunately, I don't think Shisui understood my motivation.

"Chibi-chan! Don't leave me, I'm sorry for being such a bad sensei! Give me one more chance, please, I beg you!" I sighed loudly in exasperation. The civilians around us were beginning to crowd together, whispering behind their hand-covered mouths about what could possibly be happening.

"This is clearly a case of harassment!"

"Ma, Taza-san, I think they're acting out a drama."

"How scandalous, a young girl like her frolicking around with a Uchiha in public."

"Shisui-san, for the last time. I. Am. Looking. For another teacher so that I can expand my skill set and experience a new style of teaching for a while. I am NOT abandoning you to die in a hole."

He was deaf to my words.

"But chibi-chan! I thought you loved me!" The whispers became even louder, gaining the attention of the passing ninjas on the rooftops, some of which paused to watch our exciting episode of Kiseki and Shisui Try To Communicate. Our ratings hit the roofs on certain days, especially after missions.

Screw it all, I'm leaving. I will get a teacher, even if I have to go back to Itachi to receive it. Hold on, I haven't completed the mission that Itachi-sensei gave me! If I find out what is under Hatake-sensei's mask, I can receive my training!

Smiling to myself, I went to visit my favourite armrest. Its been a while since I last saw him, I wonder if he missed me? I shunshinned my way to the Hyuuga's residence, making sure to leave a flurry of leaves right up my dear sensei's mouth.

"Chibi-chaaan!"

* * *

"Hello, my favourite!" Neji was sweeping the leaves off the doorway (what a darling) but his eyes instantly shot up at my voice, causing him to accidentally drop the broom down. I strolled up to him with a big smile, stopping a few inches before I could bump into him. A pink blush spread across his face as he looked down at me nervously.

"Wow, you grew so tall in just a few months!"

"H-hai, Kiseki-chan." I decided to jump straight into my request.

"Say, would you be opposed to going out with me to do something?" At this, my favourite armrest seemed to internally convulse. I wonder why he had such a violent reaction?

"Of course, if you don't want to, I understand-"

"I'll go with you! I just require a few seconds to finish up." I looked down at the fallen pile of leaves, then back up at him. With a whisper of "Byakugan", his entire body seemed to glitch as he zoomed around the courtyard, the broom as his weapon, and-did I see kunai shoot out of that handle?

As he returned, the black haired boy turned off his doujutsu and stood at attention. His elbow stretched out towards me, so I took it with a pleased hum.

"Ready?" I asked. "Alright, let's go to Training Ground 7, hopefully Hatake-san is still there."

For some reason, my favourite armrest stilled, and his hopeful expression changed to a downhearted one.

"Under his mask is…another mask." My faithful armrest reported, blushing for some reason. We were huddled together in the bushes, spying on Cretin 1's training. For some reason, all he did was run around angrily.

Is this the training that Team 7 went through?

Nevertheless, I had gotten my information. It was time to receive professional help. *cough*

"Ohoho, is this the "great Kiseki-sama" I've been hearing about from my cute genin?" Cretin looked at me, aghast, but still running.

Or maybe not.

Cretin 1 continued to run while crying.

* * *

For some reason, when I made use of my brilliant brain to track down my ex-sensei, Itachi didn't look surprised to see me.

"Sensei, I have completed the mission. Could you train me for the Chunin exams?"

The mission scroll I was holding flew towards his outstretched hands, and he grunted.  
"Opponent?"

"I'm against an Otori Tadashi from the Mist," I replied readily.

"The Mist eh? Looks like I'll be having fun." A deep voice boomed from behind me. I whipped my head around, only to find a seven foot tall personified shark, with gleaming teeth and dark gills. I nearly shit my pants.

"You will be sparring against Kisame-san." This sentence held no room for opposition, and I knew that my fate was sealed.

I gulped, but fought to remain my cool. "So, Kisame-sensei, what do we do first?"

A shark-like grin was his only answer.

"Itachi-sensei, help!"

"Kisame-san, go harder on her."

"My pleasure."

"Argh! Is that a actual shark?"

"Chibi-chan, you gotta do better than that, at least."

By the end of the one month, I was pretty sure I could fight the Hokage and win. Kami, these guys were strong! Itachi-sensei had joined in my training by flinging shuriken at me while I slept, and trapping me in random weird genjutsus when I grew overconfident. Believe me when I say that these genjutsus were _not_ what I expected.

 **Hey guys I'm back! I'll be picking up where I left off, so stay tuned for more!**

 **Reviews are love:)**


	24. first flame!

hey guys, sorry not an update...

I just received my first flame! *cheers*

While I was surprised by it, its not unexpected. People are allowed to critique what they find fault in, after all! That is how beginner writers like me learn how to improve to write more engaging and realistic stories.

However, this review didn't give any constructive criticism, which left me momentarily disheartened. I made a choice to remove this review by the anonymous guest, and contemplated whether to stop and delete this fic.

Of course, my 200 follows slapped me into reality! If 200 people are looking forward to an update, who am I to let them down because of one cowardly person who didn't even dare to leave a name?

My mistake was definitely in removing this review, for I feel like I should have let it remain there like a badge of honour. A show of "Hey, I know my story is pretty bad, but I'll keep going because this is my fic, and I have the liberty to write it like I want to."

I didn't have to share it with the rest of the world, just like you didn't have to read it. But I'm extremely grateful to everyone for sticking with this story, words cannot express my pure joy when I realised this was going to get over a thousand reads!

Hence, I would like to encourage all of you starting writers. Don't stop writing because of the lack of attention the story gets, because the writing is prioritised for you yourself. Flames are from people who enjoy spreading negativity, and take delight in when it works to discourage the author to abandon the fic. Don't let those cowards stop your progression.

As my first fic that I intend to go over 10k, I have no doubts that it WILL suck. It WILL get worse at times, and I WILL experience problems I have never come across. NO ONE is born talented, only differently wired. Yet, there are people out there that support people like me, and for that I would like to thank you all once again for reading this.

You mean the world to me.


	25. Chapter 25

**To Mialock23, Angelicsailor, Evilshallprevail, ApatheticGamer, Love Stories00 and TyeDyedOrgans: Thank you for your overwhelming support, I'm so touched! I'm glad to see that people are still enjoying this, despite the sporadic updates and Mary Sue characters~**

 **Now without further ado, the climax of the story!**

"Weasel-san, I choose you!" A roar sounded.

Itachi pounced onto me, flinging shuriken towards whatever direction I went in, his sharingan flashing wildly. I shunshinned out of the way, replacing myself as many times as my reserves allowed to be safe.

"Kisame-san." a monotonous voice deadpanned. "Stop calling me that."

"Suiton: Water Wall!" The first voice yelled again.

Alarmed, I jumped out of the way and started turning and twisting my body in every way to evade the spikes of water that shot out of the wall of liquid. However, I still felt cold water wash down on me all the same. I gasped, and swiveled my head around in search of the jutsu cast. There were none.

Immediately knowing what happened, I searched for the crack in the C-rank genjutsu and pushed.

"Kai!"

In front of me stood Kisame with a now empty bucket of water and a grinning face, as well as Itachi with a small smirk gracing the corner of his mouth. It was one of the first times I had ever seen emotion on the emotionless Uchiha, so I just stood there and gaped in astonishment. Evidently, Kisame had more experience gaining reactions from Itachi, for he was not at all fazed.

"Again! Again!" crowed the delighted blue man. He cooled down from his enthusiasm at a slight glare from his partner.

"Uh, for training of course. Yeah! I'm definitely more determined to help you beat a mist-nin who I don't know than see your _hilarious_ reactions to pranks! "

He was met with a pastel pink frying pan with the face. Hang on, where did _that_ come from?

* * *

"Chibi-chan, do you _have_ to leave?" Aa familiar whine roused from the shark. "And we were just getting started!"

It turned out that Shisui shared many similarities to Kisame in terms of personality, and to Itachi in terms of looks. Which made sense, seeing as they were cousins and all.

"Kiseki-san has her Chunin Exam finals to worry about, and we have our own missions to complete."

"But still!"

"We have to go, Kisame-san. Our break from our last mission is over, and Leader-sama is calling us."

" _Finee."_

* * *

 _"_ Chibi-chan, _where were you?"_ A stressed Shisui came into view. Too bad, I already filled out the proper forms before I left.

"I signed out at the village border, and gained permission from the Hokage to leave the village borders to further my training during the month of the Exams."

Shisui wasn't having any of my 'logic'.

"But Chibi-chan, you should have told me, your poor worried teacher!"

"She did," a familiar voice drawled. "You refused to accept it."

Shisui gasped. It was Itachi who said it!

Actually no, sorry to disappoint. It was Shikamaru, his spiky hair bobbing up and down as he walked towards us. Wait, he came to welcome me? I didn't inform anyone other than the Hokage which date I was coming back!

I stared at him in suspicion until the Nara began to look uncomfortable and looked away, pink spreading across his cheeks. Shisui started to grin like a madman at this, and cackled wildly before using the shunshin to god knows where.

"So, welcome back, I guess."

"Yeah, it's nice to be back."

We stared at each other awkwardly.

"So, food?"

"Sure, food."

* * *

 _What happened when Kiseki was gone?_

"Stop bothering me, Maru-chan."

"Dad, I just want to know where Kiseki went."

"And I said that I can't tell you. Now go do something useful before Yoshino catches you."

"It's training for information gathering."

"Well said, son, but I'm afraid everything is confidential so I will now conveniently leave you in my office alone while I go for my break, also conveniently forgetting about the details of Kiseki's training in the file on top of the stack on my desk."

"Thanks, dad."

"It's confidential, stop bothering me."

* * *

 _What happened when Kiseki was gone?_

"Sasuke, this is how you do- Are you listening?"

The last Uchiha stared forlornly into the distance, long gone from the lecture. Kakashi was concerned for his student's wellbeing, so he sighed and stopped the lesson, before sitting down next to him.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

Sasuke sighed dreamily. "My Kiseki senses are tingling." _What the fuck._ Kakashi thought.

"That's nice, Sasuke."

* * *

"We will now commence the final round of the Chunin Exams! Due to unforseen circumstances, Dosu Kinuta will not be participating in any battles. First up, Uzumaki Naruto versus Hyuuga Neji!"

The crowd cheered in excitement, some waving banners to support their favourites. Others placed bets, and many were already drunk from booze.

"Beat that donkey, Nekey!" One of the latter shouted.

"Wrong animal, old man!" The younger man shouted back.

Surprisingly (to me at least), Naruto won. While it was not as humourous as the time where he farted to victory, this time he squeezed himself into multiple holes for it. I sensed that he would be pretty popular with the ladies in the future.

As the time for the second match came, Sasuke wasn't here, for apparently Hatake-sensei's training had also included latecoming. I scowled at that.

 _Far away in the forest, Sasuke started shivering._

 _"What's wrong, do you need a break?" Kakashi asked._  
 _"Kiseki is upset with me" the raven haired boy whimpered._

 _Kakashi could only stare at his crying student in disbelief._

Shino won, as I expected. I flashed a thumbs up at him and waved my signboard that said "Shino will crush you like a bug!" He was momentarily disgusted and distracted by the board, most likely because my amazing self had drawn an excellent art piece of a tarantula in the corner. In red and white.

"What is that thing?" Shibi asked his son.

"I think it's a type of mushroom." Shino replied.

And then, it was time for the spikies. Spiky haired creatures, fighting against each other. Perhaps I should have given Shikamaru a spiky weapon so he would have extra spike on his side.

The match was, sorry to say, boring. I slept through most of it, but woke up to find Shikamaru forfeiting. Huh.

Finally, it was my turn to show off my skills. As I jumped into the arena once more, I heard two calls of "Good luck, chibi-chan!"

Two men stared at each other suspiciously. One had curly hair and a leaf headband ("forehead protector!") and the other was in a huge trench coat, complete with sunglasses and a beanie in the hot summer's day. A nervous sweat drop ran down the second man's head, so Shisui deemed him safe and looked back at his favourite student.

I faced my opponent. He wore an eyepatch over his left eye, a white ripped shirt and had claws for fingernails. Lovely. "So I'm fighting against a midget girl, am I?" he sneered. "Don't cry too much when you get beaten up."

I simply smiled back, before raising my arms getting ready to release my jutsus.  
"Start!"

I summoned water from the nearest water source, before shooting it towards the guy like bullets. "Suiton: Water Bullet!"

Up in the stands, Shisui stared at his student in disbelief. "But she's wind natured," he cried to the nearby Sarutobi. Asuma smoked his pipe and ignored the weeping teen, not wanting to be any part of this mess.

 _Ichikaru Ramen is now closed for the day, due to the mysterious disappearance of hot water._

"What are you trying to pull?" shouted Mist Guy (I forgot his name, so he's just Mist Guy now). "You'll never beat someone from the Mist with water jutsus. Watch this: Suiton: Water Dragon!"

A seriously overpowered dragon made of water was formed and tried to blow huge waterballs at me. Hence, I did the only logical thing and...switched places with Mist Guy.

The audience stared open mouthed when the dragon swallowed its own caster.

"Whoops." The Mist sensei said to the Mizukage unapologetically. "Probably should have gone through that with him first."

I waited in anticipation for what would happen next. The dragon seemed to have a sudden cough, and through it, it farted out Mist Guy. The majestic water dragon looked embarrassed at its own fart, before it dispersed itself. My jaw dropped. While crazy things were expected when I chose to become a ninja, a water dragon's bowel movements producing a soaked and raging ninja was definitely not what I had in mind.

"Prepare to suffer for this, Sagi!"

"Sorry!"I shouted back. "Maybe some wind will be enough to dry you off?" And with that, I unleashed my latest jutsu. "Wind Whip!"

Mist Guy never stood a chance, for with one swipe, he found himself sailing out of the arena and beyond. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" he screamed.

I looked towards the proctor. The crowd was silent, astonished by the sheer madness that just happened.

"Due to her opponent being unable to continue this match, Sagi Kiseki wins this match by default." The shaken proctor recited.

The audience rose into cheers and I gave everyone a big smile once more, bowing to their applause before making my way back to my seat.

"The Uchiha is here!" A yell came from across the stadium. So, Cretin 1 decided to finally appear? Guess he did not wuss out of his match after all. He changed his outfit, now wearing all black and confidently strutting past his team into the arena. He briefly flashed hearts in his eyes at me, and I caught sight of that strange mark on his neck once more. Why did he choose to get such an ugly tattoo?

Sandman landed in the arena, carried by his sand. His killing intent filled the arena.

'Start!" The proctor shouted.

They fought, head to head. Cretin 1 looked like he was winning by sheer speed, and appeared to be preparing a huge attack when The Sandman's skin cracked. He started horrifically transforming into some sort of mutation, and half of him became a monster.

Seriously, even the monster didn't have eyebrows? Poor Sandman.

Wait, no, there are feathers falling down. In Itachi's Five Rules Of Avoiding Genjutsus, this was a clear attempt to do a mass genjutsu. I broke out of it immediately (Try training a month with Itachi and not have some sort of immunity towards genjutsu by the end of it). When I woke up, the village was being invaded by the Sand and Sound nin.

How lovely.

* * *

After receiving instructions from Shisui-san, I was now deployed to defending the hospital. Hundreds of newly injured patients came in every hour I fought, and to every hundred 10 new ninja attacked. Thankfully, my parents were not there, so I assumed that they had managed to escape the brunt of it.

Halfway through, Shisui came to help me out, muttering about some strange man in a trench coat.

"Did he flash you?" I joked while jumping to avoid the spikes from the ground.

"Worse, chibi-chan. Much worse" Shisui shook his head. "He was blue, and started sound nins as soon as the news spread that Orochimaru was the Otokage. And the worst of all," Shisui shuddered. "His battle cry was "for Chibi-chan!"

Wow, I never knew that Kisame cared for me that much. I started to smile unconsciously, and my movements sped up. I would show him my proper thanks after I subdued all these people first. Shisui and I made a good team, we did team attacks by the dozen and our combined stealth made it seem as if no one was there killing enemy ninjas at all, until they discovered the bodies on the ground.

It was rather gory, but I preferred not to think about it.

Finally, the invasion was called off. The Hokage was dead, the Sandman was out of control, the Snake Guy had two less arms, and our village was in shambles. We were all given orders to rest for the day before we started rebuilding the village again tomorrow.

* * *

As I made my way home via rooftops, I noticed something wrong. The atmosphere was, tense, as if there was something bad going to happen. Right as I was about to jump to my favourite roof, I found nothing there. My house was smashed in, and probably everything in it.

Panic rose in my heart.

Where were my parents?

I used chakra-enhanced strength to pull away the broken parts of the walls and dug. They promised that even though they would not be able to stand watching me be in danger in real life, they would support my battle on television. Which meant that they were in the living room, where the television was located.

Using this logic to figure out my parents helped my denial in believing that they were not alive, and instead concentrated on finding my parents.

I dug for a long time, forgoing any jutsus that might have helped, because I needed to feel the pain in my arms.

I regret not going on that field trip that I promised to go on with them.

I regret not spending more time with them before they left the world of the living.

I was such a bad daughter to them, never bringing back the most stellar of grades or the best behaviour.

I treated them as if they would be there forever.

I took them for granted.

I miss their supporting selves, their willingness to help with every stage of my life.

I wish that they were not dead.

It was only 4 hours later that I found them. Their hands were held together, and half their bodies were destroyed. It made a beautiful yet saddening sight.

I felt numb. Regret, sadness, guilt, anger, all these negative emotions began running through my brain. I had to escape.

I can't take this any longer.

I knew their bodies would be buried with the thousands of other villagers that perished in the invasion, but I couldn't let that happen to my dear parents. They deserved better, if only in death.

With a nod to myself, blood dripping from my arms from digging so much, I cradled the bodies of Kokatsu and Kurutta Sagi and ran as fast as I could to the outskirts of the village. They looked as if they were sleeping peacefully, but I knew that they would never wake up.

I burned their bodies myself, scattering their ashes over a river. Julia had wanted to be cremated like this, so this is how both Julia and I would honour their deaths.

We had to.

Before we left the village.

* * *

 **Only a few more chapters left till the start of Shipudden, if** **you want more, please drop a review, because they are love!**

 **Question of the Chapter: Which father in Naruto would you want the most!**

 **Answer of the Previous Chapter: I would want Haku as my sensei, because of how patient and nice he is!**


	26. Owari

Hey readers!

I have no idea what I was going on about last chapter, so (woot woot) that probably explains the lack of inspiration for the next chapter. (Yes I forgot what my story was about already help)

Before I end this story once and for all real quick, I'll just like to answer the new reviews!

* * *

clicksqueak- Man the only reason why I put Sasuke as a fangirl was because I didn't really like him as a character and I wanted to shame him, but it grew on me over time haha! Ehh sorry there won't be any more chapters because I have negative motivation to write right now

27- I also love Shikamaru stories! The only reason why I write fanfics is because I can't find the kinds that I want to read, so I write them instead~ A nice Shikaku story would be Deja Vu no Jutsu and All Things are Difficult Before They Are Easy

DepressedNinja- Sorry that you didn't like the omakes, I write a lot of them because I personally enjoy omakes more than actual stories, and its my story so yeah...

Yup I'm in no way a professional or even moderately good writer, but as I stated a bunch of times throughout, this story was just a stress reliever for exams to get the unnecessary stress out of my brain, so I tend to just write whatever I want. Thanks for calling it a comedy skit! I was always unsure of whether it was funny enough to label it under the "humour" category but now I know that's how people identify it ^J^

julietmonells- yup Kiseki's fine she's a strong girl all she needs is time and space! As for who she'll train with, I was originally planning to make her "travel around Japan" but the chapters would just turn into anime crossovers and her reacting to all the funny parts of different animes yeah. But since I'm discontinuing it, feel free to think about her life however you want! As for her not being a Mary Sue, I kinda faced the fact that yeah she is. Its okay though! I didn't write this story for actual character development anyways~

* * *

~~Owari?~~

Hi, I'm Kiseki Sagi and you're watching Disney Chan-me run away from my responsibilities. Yup, I gave zero fucks about rebuilding the village that cared for me while I grew up in my second life. Why should I? I was not even supposed to be born into this body anyways.

 **I don't belong here.**

I washed myself in the nearby river, perfectly fine with stripping myself of clothes, only armed with the weapons in my hair. There was no reason to care for the vessel I resided in, for reincarnation into another world was probably fake.

 **This isn't my body.**

Perhaps this was another version of hell? Giving me hope that I would be able to experience a better life, achieve the dreams I could not before? Why was I put here, out of all people? No one seemed to be suffering the same thing as me.

 **Why am I even here?**

Nothing I did would actually affect my first life, the life which I would consider the "original" even though I promised myself to cut off all ties with Julia. All the connections I made, the wealth accumulated, they were all dreams of Julia, not Kiseki. Who even is Kiseki Sagi?

 **Everthing I do is pointles-**

 _SLAP!_

I was suddenly exiting my self imposed guilt.

 _SLAP!_

Who was that? I raised my head, to see-a person without a headband.

 _..._

"Hey there, sorry about that dear. You seemed to be in a trance. May I ask, what you were doing in our resort? It has yet to be opened to the public."

A bespectacled teenager peered down at me with a fake smile. He looked too young to be the owner of this resort. A quick glance at his name tag told me that this was a "Ootori Kyouya".

 _Well, nothing like a relaxing resort to forget about the death of your parents due to your personal negligence, am I right?_

~~Owari~~

* * *

this ends her journey in pre-Shippuden! If I (ever) get any inspiration, I'll publish another story about the different crossovers:) (Probably not)

First of all, thank you for following this journey of Kiseki with me, I'm grateful for everyone who read, reviewed, favourited, followed, and even added it to a community. I've never written such a long story before (58k whats uppppp) and I have made great memories tied to writing this ridiculously amateur but fun fic.

If you have any questions to ask me, I would be delighted to have another chapters dedicated to FAQs (like how I originally planned the rest of the story including Shippuden, weird questions about the OOC characters, questions about me, etc)

 **Last Answer of the Chapter:**

 **I would want Might Guy as my father. He's fearless, always encouraging and motivated. I feel like he would be the embarrassing dad that crashes into your private moments sometimes, but he would also be the one to cry with you while eating ice cream in front of the TV.**


End file.
